Monday, March 25, 2013

A sobering lunch time – and a million thoughts – meeting Dementia head on

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A sobering lunch time – and a million thoughts – meeting Dementia head on
After I left the conversation and the folks sitting at the table in the restaurant, my friend’s wife came over to speak to me privately.

We had been engaged in the typical ‘ministerial banter’ but my friend had not said too much.  He was busy eating his plate of food and enjoying it to the fullest. So it appeared.

My friend has pastored a number of churches over the years. He is a brilliant man to say the least. When you are with him his humour and sharp wittiness is engaging. The man is just plain fun to be with.

It has been about a year since we have seen each other.  And from what I saw things had changed – somehow??

As his wife took me aside she asked me if I knew that her husband has left his job/ministry because of the issues that he is now facing. “He has a very advanced stage of dementia now and has been forced to quit everything.”

I definitely had not heard this overwhelming information that I was now processing.

My friend for the last 15 years, was no longer there. Yes his body was but his brilliant mind was now being slowly trapped with this new issue he was facing.  And there is absolutely nothing that can be done for him – except love and care for him.

His wife is a radiant woman.  As she spoke to me she had not changed one bit from what can be seen. Yet the constant new challenges are beginning to be felt with this rather rapid onset (from what seems to have happened).

I told the two of them that I will come over to see him and maybe we can go for a walk – maybe have coffee together.  She thanked me – but was too sure as he doesn’t walk well anymore…

Last evening and this morning early I could not stop thinking of this couple.  I respect them so much for what they have done – for who they are. I cannot stop thinking….

A part of me needs to help. Another part of me needs to flee. And still another part of me needs desperately to get my small tasks and big tasks done now…before something like this happens to me.  The panic has set in and is almost overwhelming today.

~ Murray Lincoln ~

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