Wednesday, December 5, 2012

The Day that the NFL and the Rest of the World woke up to Domestic Violence

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The Day that the NFL and the Rest of the World woke up to Domestic Violence

The Star’s article by Christine Vendel was insightful for me. The article was published in yesterday’s edition with the title “Kansas City Chiefs murder-suicide: Jovan Belcher kissed girlfriend goodbye after firing fatal shot”. You can read it by clicking on this title or catch the link below.  By the time that you read this there may be more to report on and think about as well.

I have been thinking a lot about Jovan Belcher, his death and his killing of his wife; and his leaving of his daughter to the staff of the Kansas City Chiefs football staff to look after.

I have been listening to the reports that are coming out of the NFL world about the high rate of domestic violence and other related offences that there seems to be. The report that I heard was about the fact that the actual numbers that they report on are the number of NFL players that have been charged and possibly convicted of these violence related issues. The report doesn’t include the people and couples that are experiencing these troubled lives and nothing has yet to be done.  I think it is 24 teams out of 32 that have at least one player in this category. Not sure of the exact numbers though – neither are they!!

One only need to think back to a name like O. J. Simpson and the violence that the world became only too aware of when he was charged, tried and then found not guilty because of his wife’s death.  O. J. in my mind stands right up there with the rest of these dudes and is like a poster child of bad stuff – yet he got away with it because he is rich and famous.

How about the other Sport Greats – maybe guys like Tiger Woods?  Money was there along with everything else… yet the whole thing falls apart. Was he an abuser?  Doubt it very much… but his wife was someone who used a Golf Club to try to do him great damage at one incident that we all read about.  He just ‘loved’ a lot of women and women loved his money – and later talked about it.

The Star’s article by Christine stated one thing that caught my eye… quote – “Police said youth, immaturity and financial pressures served as a backdrop. During his college years, Belcher allegedly punched a dormitory window because he was upset over a woman.” End quote…

Youth… Immaturity… Financial Pressures and relationship woes… all part of a rather famous life style of the world around the athlete that is idolized.

What a tragedy.  I cannot really fathom what happened to this situation. Could anyone really have helped this couple? Likely both played a part in the collapse of this relationship.

The night before this happened his wife was out late with her friends for drinks after a concert that they attended.  This guy couldn’t handle the possibility of a young wife being out of control…

But when you are young and insecure you go through this kind of thing called ‘jealousy’ and even ‘rage’.

As a minister it happened to me long ago when a guy made and said some stupid remarks to my wife at a camp we I was speaking at.  When Alida told me I was ready to kill the idiot.  Another friend of mine removed the guy from the area – or I might have punched him out. Imagine – Rev. Murray Lincoln – charged with assault on a youth worker at a Gospel Camp!

I am deeply and personally affected by what happened to this young couple – even though I had never met them.

Today I am at the Mall with my demonstration table again. Like each Wednesday I will meet many young adults that have been or are in trouble with the things they have done. I often see the results of the abuse that the women have survived. I see the guys that some meet after the initial abuse… and realize that this new relationship will likely result in even more abuse. 

You see – you can see abuse… and the little signs that show up in the way that they talk to each other and disrespect each other and act it out – way before the fists start flying… and the gun is pulled out.

It is then that I wonder… “Could I have done something that might have helped the situation?”

People lose football games because they bring their personal lives to the field.  I see it and so do you.

I wonder if the NFL is thinking that today.

~ Murray Lincoln ~
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