Thursday, August 29, 2013

How stupid can some people be?

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Misty Hollow Carvingwas launched in October 2008

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How stupid can some people be?

Take a good, long look at the blackened thing in this photo.  It is a Big Toe off someone’s foot.  It is sitting in salt to preserve it.  I am not sure why this one is “blackened”, but the original one was that colour because of the owner getting his toes frozen – for whatever reason.

Now this Big Toe and other Big Toes have been used in a bizarre ritual in the Yukon – specifically in Dawson City, Yukon.  The bar serves a drink entitled “the sourtoe”.  The person that takes on this act of stupidity must drink all of the shot in the glass and let the Toe touch his or her lips as they finish the last sip.

Recently the Toe was swallowed by some idiot. The idiot paid the $500 fine that had been levied on any one that swallowed the Toe… and walked out.

Really!  His swagger after he left the scene of “the crime” likely told everyone of his great pride in doing what he did.


Now after many, many years of studying the human anatomy and in particular the digestive tract of the human body (my own) – I have picked up a few pointers that must be passed on to the idiot.

Idiot – do you have any idea of the lack of hygiene that swirling around that Toe before you slipped it into to your mouth and then took that big gulp!?  No amount of alcohol could stop the decay that was already taking place inside. Gag me! I think of what was under the toe nail alone is enough to make be hurl…

Idiot – do you feel a small and yet growing pain in your side?  It might be about belly button high but it is growing each hour now.  The flesh that was left on the Toe is now removed but your gut acids and the bone is exposed – but the big toe nail will not dissolve at all!  It is now digging its way through your lower intestine and scratching, clawing and mauling every inch of your tube.  YOU ARE IN TROUBLE – BIG TIME!

By this time your stool is likely blackened by the excessive bleeding of the upper intestine… and as the blood comes into the stool you are seeing the ravage of the big toe nail clawing at you gut.

Way to go idiot!

The hotel didn’t want to give out your name because they do not want to give you credit – where credit is due.  But the hospital staff will likely be rolling in the hallways as they see you suffer through these last days.  And if you are the American kind of idiot that comes to the north you do not have Canadian Health Care – and you will pay. If you are lucky enough to make it home to the USA before the toe nail claws its way into your abdomen and then peritonitis sets in – you will pay even more in the good old USA – without insurance.

To get even with the Hotel in Dawson my dear idiot, you need to pass whatever parts of the toe that does make it through you anal canal… and place that in a drink at the Hotel.

The partially digested toe in a drink will definitely take someone real stupid to try it…

Bottoms up idiot… and all the other idiots that have tried this act of bravado!!!

How stupid can some people be?

~ Murray Lincoln ~

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