Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Three Cheers for Fat People – they are my Happy Friends

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"Lisa Riley"
Three Cheers for Fat People – they are my Happy Friends
Every single friend of mine is fat!  Now that statement covers them all. From this minute on I am not singling one person out so that they are offended. I have offended the whole lot with seven words and an exclamation mark.  There it is done.

But today I can also say with some greater confidence that it is better to be FAT than skinny. There are a number of reasons for that statement.

The number one thought that came to my mind when I started down the road towards writing this piece is something my Dad told me over and over again. He said, “Murray you need to marry a Fat Woman.  In the winter she will keep you warm and in the summer she will keep you shaded.”

Mind you his statement came from a time when most men were thin as a rake, the Post Second World War.  My Dad and his friends/co-workers all had to walk to work… and work longer hours. So maybe the idea that you needed a Fat Woman was a simple practical one.

My wife Alida, at that time my girlfriend, thought my Dad’s statements rather odd. She had no intention of getting fat to make me happy.

But here today is some scientific fact or information that has been gleaned by news studies done.  It is proof positive that Fat is Good… not only for women but for men.  Are you ready for this?


In an article entitled, Fat people really ARE more jolly - because their genes mean they're less likely to get depressed”, Amanda Williams reports this amazing finding at the McMaster’s University.

These scientists have discovered that the same gene that makes or helps people to be fat – something called FTO – also makes people jolly.

Hey Christmas is coming, so is ‘Jolly Old Saint Nick’ – Skinny Santa’s are not the Happy Guys… they apparently can be depressed more often that Fat Santas.

Tada!  There is your Wednesday Morning revelation!  If you are Fat – you likely laugh more often than that Skinny Person next to you at the Donut Shop.  The Skinny one is envious of what you have… and are trying to eat themselves into your state of good old fun.
Now think about it… you don’t feel so good today… what is the one thing that you would love to have at that moment… FOOD – right?  And if you really know what is good for you – CHOCOLATE FOOD smeared with other good stuff to make you happy and healthy!

There you have it!  Eat and stay happy.  Don’t eat and you will look good on a magazine cover – in your mind… but you really are likely to be depressed and a miserable person to live with. AND YOU CANNOT KEEP ANYONE WARM IN THE WINTER – NOR SHADED IN THE SUMMER!!!

Lisa Riley is my new heroine.  She can give James Bond a run for his money any day. Lisa Riley has recently said she is a 'big, really happy girl who is lucky enough to be confident in her own skin'.

Way to go Lisa!  You rock and are very funny to boot. You are my poster girl now.

Now that you have locked this very positive thought deeply inside… or maybe are sitting there thinking how this information will help you… smile.  Way down, deep inside you are starting to feel better – right?  You can now go get in the shower and state loudly, “It is GOOD TO BE FAT! Wahoo.”

I am so glad that I made your day.  And today I am going to celebrate with a ‘Salted Caramel Mocha’ in the super large size.  Every single part of that drinks name is happy!!! And an alternate choice is the Chocolate Brownie with it!!

So today… here is to Fat Friends that help keep me happy!  You are something else… in fact you are a couple of something else-s – and I love you the way you are!

~ Murray Lincoln ~
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