Thursday, November 24, 2011

What to do in Boring Places

Misty Hollow Carving
This BLOG is sponsored by “Misty Hollow Carving”. You are welcome to visit Misty Hollow and see all of my carvings.

My Web Site is a like a Gallery – please drop in for a stroll through.

To help me promote my Web Site please copy this URL address and email to someone today

* * * * * * * *
Today’s Blog Post

What to do in Boring Places
Now I know that there will be discussions following the publishing of this post. The discussion will likely be related to my personal sanity. Go ahead and just do it. I won’t feel bad about your talk or discussions – I do it all the time.

The problem or difficulty zone for me happens in a number of places – really boring places!

Here is a suggested list of possibly things to help you get through the really boring and places where you wish you some where else…

Number 1 - Kaboom
While yawning, notice that rumbling sound right near the end of the yawn. You can control it consciously, and make a "boom" sound which only you can hear. Walk down the street while accompanying yourself on the Invisible Bass Drum. Launch thought-balls at irritating drivers and hear them explode. Burst out giggling while walking along at work, and nobody knows why!

Number 2 Gleeking/Gleeting
Yawn. (no, REALLY yawn), then immediately curl your tongue backwards and force it against the roof of your mouth. The saliva glands under your tongue will squirt like a squirt gun! You can only squirt once or twice before another yawn is required. Also works while eating (or sucking on hard candy.) Practice this in front of a mirror until you can slightly part your lips and silently hit a target with deadly accuracy. Hey! Is it raining in here?

Number 3 Plasma jellybeans
While waiting in the dark outside a movie theater or pub, violently shake your head back and forth while observing nearby neon signs. (this only works with clear-tube orange signs.) See those frilly filigrees in the bands of light? All neon signs have them, but normally they wiggle back and forth so fast that humans can't see them. Physicists call them "positive column striations," while neon sign-makers call them "jellybeans". Tell bystanders what you are doing, and soon you'll have a crowd of people shaking their heads in the dark like fools.

Number 4 Backwards Student
Teach yourself to read upside-down. Comes in handy: you can read the books of people sitting across the table from you. Teach yourself to write backwards in cursive. Da Vinci did this, it was years before people realized that his notebooks weren't written in unbreakable cypher.

Number 5 Burst of flavor
While reading, eat something. Notice that the flavor vanishes as soon as you get involved with the story you're reading? Now concentrate on your mouth, and the flavor explodes into reality. By concentrating on the text or on your mouth, you can make the flavor flash on and off. WEIRD!

Number 6 Twang Optic Nerve
Here's the other way to "touch your retina." Much funnier. First teach yourself to cross just one eye(or two). Now jam one finger up your nose, tap your friend on the shoulder, and say "I can touch my optic nerve!" Simultaneously tense your hand and swerve one eye back and forth, as if your finger is pushing upon it from within.
NOTE: don't really insert a finger in your nostril. Instead create the illusion: extend all fingers but fold your pinky finger under, then push your pinky finger knuckle against your nostril. Practice in the mirror to perfect this "skill."

~ Murray Lincoln ~ 

No comments: