Sunday, April 7, 2013

The Role Reversal with Care Giving of an aging parent and I am going crazy!

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The Role Reversal with Care Giving of an aging parent and I am going crazy!

I hadn’t really noticed the stress level rising around our home until this AM. Then it hit me… what is taking place is very real and is about to happen!  Whoa!  I don’t think I am ready for this at all!

Stress level you say?  What do you mean?

Well my Mom is about to leave home.  And I am not sure that I am ready for that to happen.

Oh Boy!

Tomorrow morning my Mom is going to move over to Royal Gardens, a very nice senior’s residence in our city. It is just up the street from where we live and it is beautiful!

It is the start of a two week respite care for her. In her 92 year she needs more care and this is a great place to get just that.

My wife and I will be taking a short break – and we felt it was a good time for Mom to try this idea out… and there is no better place to have that happen than Royal Gardens!!!

But stress levels are great. And it comes with this nutty thing that happens when the big “Role Reversal” takes place… where the Child becomes the Care Giver and protector of the parent.  Mom and I are into that area of life big time.

A flash back came the other day when I remembered leaving home for the first time. I was traveling from Regina, Saskatchewan by car to Toronto, Ontario – 1700 miles away. My dad was driving along with me. He had never been to Toronto so this was a great time to get there and keep a check on his son.

I remember Mom crying and wiping her eyes with her apron as we pulled out. She had tried to raise her kids so they would be ready to leave home… now her first one was leaving and going far, far away.

I was filled with adventure and thoughts about the future with little or no thoughts about home and family. I was ready for the days to come. Mom was thinking about the days that we had together… and was now losing her son.

Now, April 8th I am giving up my Mom to a total bunch of strangers that will take up the care and safety of her wellbeing… and I am not sure what will happen! Not sure at all!!!!

But that had to be what my Mom went through as I left home. In fact I did that a number of times over the years… come home and then leave… come and then go….

But respite care is what we all need now. This is especially true for my wife Alida who is the main caregiver in Mom’s life.  And I am not sure how my wife will do leaving my Mom at the Senior’s residence tomorrow… not sure at all.

I write this today because there are others that have either gone through this or will shortly. You, like me, are in the Role Reversal stage of life looking after an aging parent that is need of more and more help. And you, like me, wish you didn’t have this task to keep on keeping on… but are glad to do so… because after all she is “Mom”.

Oh Boy… gotta run and get the suitcase ready. Mom is ready for her Spa Experience – her Cruise Ship experience for the next few weeks… but I am not.

 ~ Murray Lincoln ~

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