Wednesday, May 30, 2012

A Prize Pattern and Example for Creating a Bully

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A Prize Pattern and Example for Creating a Bully
As the Principal of the public school walked into the class of Grade 8 students a hush fell over the room.  The teacher had told the students that the Principal wanted to talk to them personally… not the whole school.

Graduation exercises were coming up soon and there was the normal amount of nervous tension about all that was about to happen.

But the Principal’s announcement wasn’t just about the actually graduation.  Her announcement was about “Jane”, a former student at the “Park School”.

“Jane will not be allowed to attend our Graduation exercises nor will she be allowed at the school dance that follows.  It has been found out that Jane has been bullying many of you and that is not going to be tolerated in any way. We value our students and care for them at Park School.” explained the Principal. (“Jane” and “Park School” are real places with different names in this story.  And this really took place in that past few weeks.)

The Principal went on to explain to the students in the Grade 8 Class that the bullying that Jane has been carrying on is now in the hands of the police who have obtained all the information that they need to deal with this problem.  All of Jane’s Text Messages and information that demonstrated her Bullying Tactics have been collected and the police will be dealing with her.

When I heard the extent that this problem was being dealt with at Park School I was taken back.  This is way more extensive than I imagined.  Jane had been dealing blow after blow to the students in her former class by using a variety of means to control the kids in her class… and especially hurt them emotionally.

How could she get away with this kind of horrific interaction as a mere Grade 8 student – who once attended Park School?  More important – WHY!!???

As you have read Jane is a former student of the school.  She is now living in Quebec with her mother and her mother’s boyfriend. But she wasn’t always living in this arrangement. She had lived with her mother and father along with her sister “Judy”.  As a very bright and sharp young lady she was progressing well through her growing up years.  But something changed very rapidly to rip her from her school and the way she was living. 

Actually it wasn’t so rapid at all. Just one stage was rapid and ragged.

As I listened to this story for almost 7 years now I was aghast at the events that I was presented with as the mother and father came to speak with me.  Both parents are very bright and very capable people.  They have everything going for them… except an ability to know what a good relationship is all about.

In the relationship department I have never witnessed anything so sick as what I saw in this one.  And over the years as a minister I have seen “SICK” relationships in all their stupidity.

At the stage that I was drawn into this family to listen, the family had returned from a family vacation in Florida.  While they were on their way the mother casually informed the father that he was no longer needed and that the marriage was now over.  When they return from the vacation he was to move out and leave her with the girls.

Whoa!  That kind of announcement is ALWAYS MADE by the man.  In normal SICKO families the man is the one that has found a new young piece of meat which he then substitutes for the old dried up one he has been living with for the past decade or so.

Nope, not in Jane’s family – it didn’t happen that way!  Jane’s mother is the “ministering” kind of person. She regards herself as “spiritual” to the max with an ability to “help other people” spiritually or something.

Now in order to help the mother find herself or help the marriage to hold together the father put the mother through university and paid for it all.  There was no university debt when she graduated.  It was all paid for.

But as this was all taking place she had insisted on his moving out… which he didn’t do. He had no place to go so he chose a more difficult way to deal with it… with hopes that the spiritual woman that he called his wife would wake up and come to her senses as “God” might speak to her.

A more difficult way?  Yes. He moved to the basement of his own home and slept on a cot at the end of basement… something like an old dog might to find a place for it to curl up.

In the center of the basement was the computer station that the family used.  From the computer the mother carried on her Blogging and advising and making contacts with people that she was helping in her strange “spiritual” ways.

I do question the “spirituality” that I saw. God is the one that deals with the true spiritual. The kind that this woman was exhibiting was plain nuts… you know crazy.

On a whim or a moment of great spirituality she was moved to travel to Texas(and other places) by herself. To walk on a beach with someone she met on line, to connect spiritually with the ones she had met on line.

Of course the father at home with his two daughters is still sleeping on the cot in the basement… and paying for these adventures that his wife was having with these other folk – who were primarily men.

No one knows how “spiritual” her adventures were and what part prayer had in any of it. I have seen too many other couples do this kind of “praying” that usually has some or a lot of sex involved… but MIND YOU that is because the husband is an idiot with his new piece of meat!  Women like this mother likely are different and “god” uses them very differently… ya right!

The story progressed further. The mother told the father that he was to do this and that and even more of this… to get the house ready for sale. She had now graduated from university and the next stage of her life with her kids would be taking place.

They sold the house and bought a very old house out of town. The idea that the mother was zealous for was to bring in young adults that needed help… or maybe I should say people that needed help… from her spirituality and ministering abilities.

But the place needed renovations extensively. So away she went. She is not only a deeply spiritual person and a counselor and a wise woman, she is also a top interior decorator and designer.

She spent close to $100,000 on the renovations and upgrades.  The 150 year old house now is the best looking old farm house that is worth likely more than 30% over the possible selling price.

As soon as the renovation was done the mother was off to minister in Montreal… where of course she found her calling to a man that was her father’s age.  She moved in with him and began “ministry”.

The father is still in the old and beautifully renovated farm house with two heartbroken daughters. Mom is gone and not coming back again.  Telephone calls to Jane are often. Advice to the father is delivered through messages from his daughters who talk to mom about what he should do.

This went on for about a year and a half.  But through it all both girls kept their grades up and seemed to be doing well.  Both were top students.

The story gets too complicated to tell every detail at this point.

The mother shows up one weekend with her new “spiritual” partner. (Oh yes it is more than just praying together – she lives with him.)

The mother is in need of certain treasures that she wants from their home… things to be able to carry on in her new life.  While she is stripping anything that she wanted the girls watched mom at her best.

Needless to say, Jane was not doing well. As a 13 year old girl that has not seen her mother in about one and a half years (other than shopping trips with mom while visiting her in Montreal) – she is beside herself.

Mom and the dude leave and head out on the highway.

Jane is crying and then calls her mom.  She decides at that moment to go live with mom.  It is a weekend and she goes east with ‘mommy’.

I was not in the vehicle to see what happened or what Jane was doing as she watched the countryside slip away from her home and friends in Grade 8.

But there had to be a moment when she suddenly realized that I will not see my friends again. That part of my life is over. There was a moment that the 13 year old was suddenly sad.

And there was likely a  moment when ‘mommy’ told her that she could go back and see her friends…maybe even go to Grad with them. Mommy would make sure that would happen. And mommy likely assured her that through Facebook and her cell phone that she could keep in touch with all her friends… because friends are friends forever – right?

I am not totally sure what happened in the next few weeks.  But the girl did come back and spent a day at her old school with her friends.  Somehow the mother of the mother – the grandmother helped carry this out. The teacher may have helped also… or simply never knew what to do about Jane showing up.

BUT through the school visit and the Facebook and the Cell Phone texting… Jane started to control her victims of her abuse.

She had suddenly come of age. She was now almost completely her own mother with her methods, demands, erratic behavior and actions along with threats.

When the Principal contacted the father to tell him about how far the investigation had progressed – even across provincial jurisdictions of police services… he as absolutely shocked.

How could it happen?  Why bullying and why would a young person do such a horrific thing. Even the boys were scared silly from her threats and raving!

Try to remember that Jane is only 13 years old.

But also remember that her mom taught her well.  Dad can be treated like Dog Shit should be treated. Men are for you to handle and any woman that thinks she is smarter – well you can deal with them too honey. You are your mother’s daughter and mother knows best.

As to the Renos and the house that is for sale… the mother clearly has told the girls what a piece of crap the father is… after all HE ALLOWED THE MOTHER TO GET OUT OF HAND and GO WAY OVER BOARD with the money.

Pause and take a deep breath here…
Away back when I had the first glimpse of what was happening I had no imagination that the marriage could be saved.  It looked real bad as they came for “help”.  But I did warn them and particularly the mother that these actions and way of living would deeply affect her daughters.

She basically cut me off at that point and told me that I didn’t have a clue!

Well guess what? I have seen it all now… and I have seen where these rotten little Bullies come from.  They are made at home in sicko families that if others knew how bad it was – they would never allow their own kids to even attend a birthday party… let alone a Graduation.

As you read this story I hope you are as stunned as I am how it all can happen. 13 year olds can’t devise ways and means to be rotten to the core. That takes an adult that is feeding pure venom directly into their young systems.

But in this case… remember the high note of “spirituality” that has guided everything that was done.

Mental sickness and some sort of psychological problem… no darn way. The mother knows that simply is not true.  She is free of all that. The stupid father is a clown and an idiot… and the minister that he talks to regularly is just too stupid to describe.

Read my lips…. (But You will never read this…) you need help. Your girls will have helped forced on them with their problems later… but you need it now. For God’s sake get help mother!!!!!

~ Murray Lincoln ~

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