Friday, May 4, 2012

Figuring out the cause of Last Night’s Storm – it was a “Ford Storm”!

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Today’s Blog Post

 Figuring out the cause of Last Night’s Storm – it was a “Ford Storm”!
(Subtitle – Why People from outside Toronto should never visit the City)

As you can see from the photos that I took, the weather was nasty.  The storm was huge and very dangerous looking.  I snapped these just before ducking inside my Misty Hollow workshop.  Lightening began flashing at about 8:15pm when I took the photos and continued for hours to come.

We don’t deserve this kind of storm now. What did we do to deserve this?

Well this morning early I figured out what actually happened. It was the “Ford Storm”.  It came from south west of our city and then rolled into deliver its blow… and this was not a threat… it was real and did it ever hammer us hard.

Why name it a “Ford Storm”?  Well we finally figured it out. When Mayor Rob Ford isn’t happy in Toronto, where he is the Mayor – the most powerful man alive…, all hell breaks loose in every area of the province.  When Mayor Rob Ford gets angry storms develop and explode in rage all over the province… and they do so for days to come.

The one last night started brewing in and around Mayor Rob Ford’s property around 8pm on Wednesday evening when one of his neighbours came knocking on his door.  The neighbour had spotted about a suspicious person on the property behind their homes.  The neighbour told Mayor Ford that the person back there was taking pictures of the Mayor’s yard and house… suggesting that the Mayor had another rascal trying to spy on his family and home.

Whoa!  Mayor Rob Ford immediately kicked into his ultra-ego of super hero and went out to catch the dude and stop this invasion of privacy.  No thought for his own safety or for his family’s future without him… into the evening’s fading light he pushed… to catch the “bad guy” and administer a “Ford Justice” that offers a good pounding by tightly clutched fists.

Mayor Rob Ford was about to kick butt. He was about to become Captain Toronto… you know like Captain America.  Or maybe that should be the first “Blonde Hulk”.

The intruder had no idea what was about to happen to him as he stood at the edge of the public park.  The 350+ pound Mayor, ultimate fighter, super hero, Captain Toronto was about to knock the crap out of this guy that was messing with him by taking photos of his back fence! 

God help the intruder when Captain Toronto gets at him. God help any man when the Blonde Hulk arrives. They are going to wish that they were never born after his mighty fists lash out at their pathetic little skulls.

You see the Captain Toronto, or the Blonde Hulk, doesn’t think like ordinary men. He uses might to produce fright!

I have followed the fact that Captain Toronto, or the Blonde Hulk, is trying to lose weight. That is a lie. He cannot lose weight. If he did all his power would be gone – like poof… like dandelion seeds to the wind.

Mayor Rob Ford needs his weight to enforce the threats that he issues as Captain Toronto and the Blonde Hulk.  If he does maintain the power and weight every evil little scum bag that will threaten the peace of his beloved home and his poor old neighbours, will take over!!! God help us all!

Evil Little Scum Bag???
Yep. That is what Captain Toronto and the Blonde Hulk think. The evil little scum bags are News Reporters that work with the Toronto Star.  In fact they are kissing cousins to any News Media type idiots. Anybody that would possibly tell the truth is a piece of low life that Captain Toronto and the Blonde Hulk need to eliminate.

That evil piece of low life has a name. He is Daniel Dale, a Toronto Star reporter, that gets paid to listen to whatever Captain Toronto and/or the Blonde Hulk spews about his crime fighting efforts.  Daniel Dale is expected to listen to political Crayola as much and as long as the Mayor – oops I mean Captain Toronto/ Blonde Hulk will spew.

Double Whoa!  Can you imagine… Captain Toronto/Blonde Hulk is now threatening to not have any more News Media interviews at the City Hall if Daniel Dale is present.. or for that matter any news reporter is present.

No kidding. In the newspaper today Captain Toronto was still so angry that he was spewing and stewing so much that he produced a storm that crapped on Peterborough.  That is where the Ford Storm came from.

Now I realize that I am in mortal danger at this moment. I have revealed what I really think about bullies like Captain Toronto/the Blonde Hulk. If I travel to Toronto I will need a rented vehicle with darkened windows – or else the big man will see me… and kerpow… I will lose my cell phone and recording devices. Zap. Zoom. Swish. Captain Toronto will have my hide as well.

Captain Toronto – Blonde Hulk you do scare me just like the bully back in school did.  They traumatized me to the point that I shake when a 350+ man comes anywhere near me – in my adult life.  I still think that if I don’t do just what you say or demand of me – that YOU WILL BEAT ME UP.

But I got smarter along the way.  I will call the police when you threaten me.  And in practical ways I have surrounded myself with bigger guys that are nasty looking too.

Captain Toronto you have “Flash” who is really “Dougie Ford” – your brother.  He is pretty big too – I know – I saw the guy.  Yikes.

BUT I have Ace (350 pounds), Big Dan(425 pounds), Tiny(375 pounds) and Mad Manny (425 pounds).  They are all really big – over twice my weight. They are all former Bikers that don’t like loud mouth politicians.

As to your walking after some perp in the back lot behind your house… that is stupid!  You have stated that you have had death threats… where do you think the best place to pop someone is?
Good luck Captain Toronto/Blonde Hulk.  I hope you have a better day today. Peterborough doesn’t need any more storms like this last one.  Please keep your Ford Storms to yourself.

Two of the biggest dangers a 350+ man faces is not a perp peeking at your fence but rather THREE REALLY BIG GIANTS IN HIS LIFE –
1.)         A Stroke
2.)         A Heart Attack
3.)         Diabetes

Sheesh! Daniel – we are pulling for you. You are named after a dude that messed with a King and his cohorts that threw him into a den of Lions… right? Hmm?

~ Murray Lincoln ~

Reporter Loses his Cell Phone to Mayor’s demands
Mayor Rob Ford’s ‘story’
What Daniel Dale states happened

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