You just have to know what a “Whale Tail” is all about

Yesterday just after lunch we started to laugh. It was my wife first that burst out laughing and then I joined in. My mom had not yet caught it.

On Oprah, the TV Program that comes to us one day later than when it actually happens, the person being interviewed used a brand new term for us old people. Oprah was doing a special segment on new “CJ” blue jeans that cost from $140 to $199 US…ouch!

The special term about these jeans is that it eliminates the problem of “whale tail”.

When the dude first made the statement we both looked at each other and I said, “Did you hear that? What is Whale Tail?”

No sooner did I ask it than he answered the question.

“Whale Tail is when the woman’s blue jeans pull down at the back with her bending over front wise… and her panties pull up and out to show the Whale Tail.” He went on to explain that some women don’t like the “Whale Tail” affect and most blue jeans produce that affect as they are not fitted properly for the wearer’s derriere.

Now there can be nothing greater to make terribly spiritual readers of this Blog gasp at a Minister explaining, writing about and/or pointing to a “Whale Tail” on a woman.

I mean how in the heck does a Minister ever notice a “Whale Tail”? Or why would a Minister even look at a “Whale Tail”? Shouldn’t Ministers be resistant to looking at “Whale Tails”? Aren’t they able to resist the temptation of starring at “Whale Tails”?

If you deeply spiritual people think or ask these questions – you are nuts! I, as a Minister, see “Whale Tail” all the time – even in church! The only time they seem to disappear is under the well clothed outside winter wear… but they appear the minute the gal takes off her coat inside.

“Whale Tail” pretty much appears everywhere in our community – all year long and we are far, far, far from the ocean of any sort!

It has bugged me to no end since about 2000.

Believe it or not Wikipedia has a great write up on it… quote…
"Whale tail is the Y-shaped waistband of a thong or g-string when visible above the waistline of low-rise jeans, shorts, or a skirt that resembles a whale's tail. Intentionally or unintentionally, a whale tail is exposed above the trousers mostly when sitting or bending, or even while standing. The frequency or occasion depends on the style of trousers, the style of underwear, and the way they are worn. Flashing whale tails became popular in the early 2000s, together with the rise of low-rise jeans and thong underwear."
~ end quote.

So I am not so crazy… thinking that this was a new accident and these poor women(or their families) couldn’t afford better clothing! This is actually a choice!!!

The Wikipedia goes on to state… quote…
"Specially designed trousers like low-rise jeans or hip-huggers and higher cut thongs lead to greater exposure of the whale tail. The trend was also associated with the trend of sporting lower back tattoos. The word was selected by the American Dialect Society in January 2006 as the "most creative word" of 2005. Specially designed rear spoilers for Porsche 911 and other automobiles are also known as whale tails, as well as the tip a certain kind of blood vessel. The concepts of visible panty line, buttock cleavage, and sagging are closely related to the whale tail." end quote

Visible Panty Line… yes I have seen that too.

Buttock Cleavage… hokey mokey another new term… but you can see that too… and I thought the girl had just gained too much weight sitting in McDonalds all the time…

Sagging…WOW – new term too… described by Wikipedia as – quote – “Sagging is the practice of wearing pants or shorts below the waist so as to reveal some or all of the wearer's underwear, this is also referred to as Low-Riding in the UK.”

And further… “Sagging is commonly reported in the media as having originated from the prohibition of belts for prisoners. Belts were banned because they could be used to commit suicide by hanging oneself, to strangle others, or as a weapon in fights. In the early 1990s, hip-hop artists popularized the style.” End quoteNow by this stage of the Blog the wonderfully spiritual people have been turned off so bad that they may not read again… ever! “Butt” they will see it next time in the Mall and understand… what they see they now have a name for it…. instead of shaking their spiritual heads with disgust.

The next time YOU see it YOU will be able to name it… and realize that these dear folk have worked hard, spent considerable money, and planned it carefully to have a GOOD WHALE TAIL – for YOUR BENEFIT! I mean THEY CAN’T SEE IT – YOU DO… it is done for you… all of the SPIRITUAL PEOPLE and NOT SO SPIRITUAL PEOPLE…

My guess is that they love hearing older folk gasp… and they grin when we gawk.

NOW HERE IS MY CONCERN…
First - These young Whale Tail-ers are going to age. And when they do what a site this will be. As they bend over their “Depends” will be doing the Whale Tail as well… but with a pair of panties showing!

Every senior I know that wears Depends – the adult diaper – doesn’t really give a ding dong if they Whale Tail or not. One old guy that I see at the senior’s home and sometimes in the hospital hallways has taken off all his clothes and his whale tail is well… showing.

Seniors have Whale Tailed people long before they gave it a description!

Second – Sagging was not invented in prison… or by rappers… or by fashion people. They cannot take that away from us old people. Most men I know are already “sagging” way before the teens lowered their knickers’ rise.

Personally it happens all the time… specially after eating too much! I have to hitch my jeans up or I will lose them… Sheesh!

Third - When this Whale Tail idea progresses among the women… it will be soon taken on by slightly older women… I already have witnessed this among the ‘40 somethings’ NOW. It is when the ‘50 somethings’ and ‘60 somethings’ try to mimic the young Whale Tail… a whole new era will come – “Whale Tail with a Horizon”.

What is “Whale Tail with a Horizon”? That is when the stretch marks are added to the visual background to the whale tail and consider it sexy.

This past week when a waitress that served us had a whale tail… I looked away. But in that other direction there was a rather over weight lady sitting with her back to us – mid 40s – with a very large whale tail…oops look away… butt her tattoo was kind of funny as it peeked out one side of her whale tail.

Dealing with whale tail at 65 years old in 2009 is a brand new problem for me.

This post is far too long. Sorry – but I figured you just had to know what a Whale Tail is all about.

Hey – have a great day and for goodness sake keep looking up – way up!

~ Murray Lincoln ~
http://www.murraylincoln.com/

Source:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whale_tail