Guaranteed Help for the Born Again’s Pet – Rapture Ready Pets

This has to be the smartest business plan in the world. I mean – what an idea!

Now you have heard of ‘Dog Walkers’ I am sure. You may have also heard of ‘Cat Sitters’ – you know like a baby sitter only there is no baby – it’s a cat!

Well this one takes the absolute cake. Talk about smart.

You need some background to understand this new business. Here goes…

‘Born Again Christians’ are the target market for the most part. Although there are a few of the other kind of Christians that may take part in this too. You know the kind of Christians that don’t get all lathered up about the heavy End Times kind of stuff…they just like the churchy feeling that comes from listening to pipe organs and watching minister look all solemn and stuff – you know long robes and long faces.

The ‘Born Agains’ have a interesting idea that some day in the next little while, Jesus, the one that they believe in so strongly and actually pray to, will come back to earth and all the Christians that are alive will be ‘Raptured’ – or as some theological books entitle it – The Rapture… will take place.

The Bible has some pretty strong ideas presented on this fact.

Now many, many ‘Born Agains’ have pets. Their theological understanding doesn’t allow for pets going to heaven. The part isn’t allowable in the Bible – meaning that there are no references to Dogs, Cats, Horses, Cows, Rabbits, Turtles – whatever animal you might have – being in Heaven.

When the Rapture takes place the people go and the animals stay behind. In one quick twinkling of an eye the people that are ‘Born Agains’ are exiting earth… and their little puppy will be staying behind in that big old lonely house. The thought of that happening almost makes me choke up with sadness. Worse yet – isn’t it almost animal cruelty for a ‘Born Again’ to own a pet if they all are not going to be looked after when they are gone?

My goodness you should be catching the shock of this Rapture thing now. You own a pet and it aint going to go with you. Oh Boy!
Well this is where the smartest business plan in the world was hatched with the ‘Born Agains’ in mind and their poor little pets being lost to a world without daddy and mommy.

The Eternal Earth Bound Pets, USA launched and my friend Chad told me about it. What an amazing group!

Here is what their Web Page states for everyone to see… Quote
“You've committed your life to Jesus. You know you're saved. But when the Rapture comes what's to become of your loving pets who are left behind? Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind.

We are a group of dedicated animal lovers, and atheists. Each Eternal Earth-Bound Pet representative is a confirmed atheist, and as such will still be here on Earth after you've received your reward. Our network of animal activists are committed to step in when you step up to Jesus.

We are currently active in 22 states. Our representatives have been screened to ensure that they are atheists, animal lovers, are moral / ethical with no criminal background, have the ability and desire to rescue your pet and the means to retrieve them and ensure their care for your pet's natural life.

We currently cover the following states:Maine,New Hampshire, Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Rhode Island, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Michigan, Arkansas, Mississippi, Tennessee, Kentucky, Colorado, Oklahoma, Kansas, Washington, Oregon, Idaho, Montana, North Carolina (new) and Georgia (new).

Our service is plain and simple; our fee structure is reasonable.

For $110.00 we will guarantee that should the Rapture occur within ten (10) years of receipt of payment, one pet per residence will be saved. Each additional pet at your residence will be saved for an additional $15.00 fee. A small price to pay for your peace of mind and the health and safety of your four legged and feathered friends.

Unfortunately at this time we are not equipped to accommodate all species and must limit our services to dogs, cats, birds, rabbits, and small caged mammals. [PLEASE NOTE: we can now offer rescue services for horses, camels, llamas and donkeys in NH,VT, ID and MT ]

Thank you for your interest in Eternal Earth-Bound Pets.

We hope we can help provide you with peace of mind.”
End Quote…

I am convinced that this was designed by one of my friends that used to attend our church back home when we were young.

Back then all of the guys were bored silly and turned off completely with the church. The turn off happened when we watched the Seniors fighting all the time, the women’s groups muttering about who was in charge and the general attitude as the Senior glared at you when you sat in their pew.

There was lots of preaching about the Rapture… about Jesus coming again back then. But we were convinced that the miserable old turkeys that filled some of the pews were planning to go to Heaven. And if it meant spending an eternity next door to one of these old buzzards – we were not going. Plain and simple – caput – it was over.

Atheist don’t believe there is a God – or that God stuff is for them. They get along quite well thank you very much with out the God stuff. SO… a Rapture idea is not that important and is something to be scoffed as really weird and often unhappy Christians berate their neighbors about the coming rapture.

Atheists are a little confused though. The ‘Born Agains’ buy all kinds of stuff that they can’t take with them. The BA-s are some of the best collectors in the world… and they have some of the biggest bank accounts as well. They act like they are taking it all with them. But they won’t – and Atheists seem confused at that.

Which ever friend it was that came up with this truly smart idea – “Who will look after the pets?” And the answer was, “I can do this and make some change on the side while doing a good deed.”

Do you see how lucrative this is? They do. Do you see how insecure people are? They do – definitely.

Mind you the pet could die before the Rapture takes place… but maybe you can transfer the policy over to the next pet?

Now I know that all my ‘Born Again’ friends with pets are looking over the web site at this next few minutes. The ones without animals are still shaking their heads.

What has gone wrong with Lincoln’s head? Where is his theology? To both… I reply – I’m okay and I don’t own a pet.

Have great day! And Thanks Chad.

~ Murray Lincoln ~
http://www.murraylincoln.com/

Source:
http://www.eternal-earthbound-pets.com/