PTSD and the Minister of a Church

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Blog Post for today…


PTSD and the Minister of a Church
The reports that came on the TV News yesterday and then again today pointed to the PTSD that RCMP Officers are now facing with increasing numbers. More so – some one is now documenting what is happening with their officers.


One officer that was interviewed was/is assigned to a particularly dangerous section of highway where there are many fatal accidents… in some days he has had to investigate more than 3 – one right after another. At these accidents the scene is gruesome for the folk that have to unscramble the mess and work with the injured and already dead. The sights and sounds never leave you after you have been there – even once.


I have attended some of these accidents and was never the same again. I had nightmares for years!


PTSD is an anxiety disorder. In other words after being exposed to the situation that you had to deal with… your mind and even your body reacts in unusual ways following.


The RCMP officer stated in the interview that he felt very strongly afterwards, “I have times that I want nothing to do with anybody. Including at home. I just want to be left alone. Just… leave me a lone.” He said.


Wikipedia post about PTSD states – quote…
“Diagnostic symptoms include re-experiencing original trauma(s), by means of flashbacks or nightmares; avoidance of stimuli associated with the trauma; and increased arousal, such as difficulty falling or staying asleep, anger, and hypervigilance. Formal diagnostic criteria (both DSM-IV and ICD-9) require that the symptoms last more than one month and cause significant impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning (e.g. problems with work and/or relationships).” End quote.


* Flashbacks or nightmares
* Avoidance of Stimuli associated with the Trauma
* Increased arousal – difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep, anger
* and “Hypervigilance”… which is…quote..
Hypervigilance is an enhanced state of sensory sensitivity accompanied by an exaggerated intensity of behaviors whose purpose is to detect threats. Hypervigilance is also accompanied by a state of increased anxiety which can cause exhaustion. Other symptoms include: abnormally increased arousal, a high responsiveness to stimuli and a constant scanning of the environment for threats. Hypervigilance is a symptom of posttraumatic stress disorder. End quote


This is not new.


In the 1800s as Railway Travel was the main way to get some where else… there were many train wrecks and many people killed. Those attending or working in that industry would not want to travel or work on the railway after they came through these hours. The twisted wreckage from the flimsy train cars did the greatest damage to those that were left behind – it was called “Railway Spine”. And you can imagine easily here that it was a derogatory term used to describe the men that had lost their heart to work or go on.


I can certainly understand. As a minister I have witnessed this happening often. More so I have experienced it personally.


First
A fellow minister sat with me in my vehicle as we travelled to another city to attend a Ministerial Function – where we would meet many of our Ministerial brothers and sisters. It was to be a mini conference of sorts. Lots of schmoozing and stuff like that.


As we drove he told me of the most recent events in his life. He had lost his leadership position due to a series of very unfortunate circumstances. He had experienced great pressure in the church from those that opposed leadership – his in particular. While this was happening he was on a high with much taking place at the church – many ‘blessings’. Then there was a nasty situation where the law was brought in, he was charged and even jailed over night – then finally released. The charges were dropped, he was unemployed and eventually after spending about $350,000 in legal fees it was declared to be a non-issue.


Yes – read it again. It really happened and I know the man. Was he always correct in what he did? No – that was the problem – he tended to do what many people would do in his situation – he lost his cool – did some things that “were unbecoming to a minister of the Gospel”.


When that little phrase is laid next to your name as a minister – whether it be for telling a dirty joke, messing with a person in the wrong way or getting very angry and blowing your lid – YOU ARE A GONNER! Even a classy resume will not make any one want you after that.


Yes – there was more to the story. But the end result was that medical personnel around him declared that he was suffering from PTSD and he was helped by going through the counselling sessions with soldiers that had served in the Middle East now… with PTSD!


Imagine a Minister in a Church going through this kind of thing!

Was he the only one? No. In my term of being in Peterborough he was at least the third one that I have witnessed that went through the ship wreck of life after encountering horrific situations in their churches.


The situations were so impossible to deal with from a personal emotional level – and there was so much of it that the man simply had to receive special help so that he would survive.


Second
In one situation there was a Pedophile – already convicted in a serious situation a few years before – that came into a church. The time line of the previous charges and sentencing was more than 5 years prior – making it hard to tell about what had happened… and illegal for certain people to share anything.


The Pedophile had achieved a position in the church as Sunday School Superintendent. The pastor and his wife found out that the man was stalking their own children. They enquired more about the man and quite by accident spoke with another church leader in the former community – and they found out the new Sunday School leader was not what he said he was. He was a convicted and very smart Pedophile.


They ousted him and made sure he was not welcome in the church any longer. He however was smart and worked into the lives of half the people of the church… The Minister was ousted and the Pedophile was welcomed back into the flock.


The minister and his wife knew me well and “escaped” from that setting with no help financially… to our city and hid away until they recovered… kind of… if you can ever recover from this kind of thing.


I cannot take time or space to tell you all of his story. Today this minister is no longer in a church… attends once in a while… has a very sick wife… and never wants to see the kind of thing that he has experienced in church again.


BOTH of these Pastors have gone through all the symptoms of PTSD. One got help and the other died spiritually.


I said I had witnessed three ministers.


I think I am the third. I have been traveling through a journey that is perhaps the most difficult that I have ever had in my life. It started 11 years ago – just after stepping into the leadership role at our church. It lasted until I was relieved of my duties in June 2008. But then it has continued to be dealt with ever since.


In 11 years I faced a number of difficult situations and life problems with people. One situation was very nasty with one man shown to be an abuser in his past… and having covered that with a super Christian appearance taking many people down with who he was. One couple that he deeply affected simply cringed and hid away. They chose to do certain things that were not good for them or us. Even writing this I cringe again.


This past week I saw them in the community. I couldn’t greet them. I hid away and walked away. I was sweating and tortured again with the memories of what had happened. I had nightmares the night following of the people that were involved in the daytime nightmare of a few years ago.


I have come to realize that even being separated from the “war zone” the battle is not over. It takes only one small sighting to set me off again.


What I have told you about is only one story of many that I have encountered in 11 years of being here. From young ladies telling me of the man in our church that sexually messed with them, to calls about former members that had done terrible things that the church could be held liable for, to one Christian hating another Christian, to a horrific scene at a Senior’s Meeting one time where certain members were out to destroy me and whole bunch of others… I have seen it all…in one church.


It is like being through a war zone… after many battles… returning home and then wondering why you cannot sleep at night.


I am sure I have experienced PTSD and it all happened at church. Yikes.


Murray, isn’t it a bit dangerous writing about it? I mean could there be any repercussions because you have told what has happened?


Not sure I have an answer about that one yet.


For 11 years I dared not speak about the abuse, about the sometimes illegal things, about the potential harm to people, about the nightmare of real harm that really happened… because I might lose my job… these powerful people might leave the church… and I might never get another church again…


Guess what that is all over now. I have been through the war zone… and witnessed nightmares that I can’t write about at all… and it is not over.

My greatest horror in my thinking is that there are good men and women that serve in similar roles that I have had… and are facing nightmares that no one knows about… all week long… and even as I write this… then they are expected to get another sermon ready to encourage the people in church next Sunday… and they are in complete shock and almost dieing… and they cannot lose their jobs because of mortgages, kids in school, car payments, a spouse with a good job…


These people are on the Front Line now… they need help. But if they ask for it… reach out to the wrong people… they will be asked to leave… and may never get another position.


The RCMP Officers that say too much are not looked at in a good light by fellow officers. There is a real negative to speaking up…. Or confessing anything.


In the old days after a train wreck… the ones that wouldn’t or couldn’t work again… had “Railway Spine”.


In the church when Pastor cannot face another day or this… he or she goes to the Doctor and talks it out… get some sleeping pills and get the next sermon ready for next Sunday.


This is way too many words for the ordinary person to read… over 2000 at this point. Sorry – ordinary person.


My hope today is that maybe One Minister in One Church that is facing a horrific situation – will simply know that some of the rest of us did as well… and now I can talk about it.

~ Murray Lincoln ~
www.murraylincoln.com


Source:
RCMP note PTSD in their ranks
http://www.cbc.ca/canada/edmonton/story/2009/10/27/rcmp-stress-leave.html
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Posttraumatic_stress_disorder
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypervigilance


Railway Spine
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Railway_spine
Interview with RCMP Officer
http://www.cbc.ca/video/news/player.html?clipid=1310616401