Dan Matheson’s, the CTV’s announcer, words were just plain funny.. “The police have not said yet if alcohol was involved…”.Duh – Dan – do you think maybe that they were on a stroll and just happened into the Tiger Cage?
That’s right, two men broke into the Calgary Zoo and then climbed into the Tiger Cage! And while they were in the Cage the big Kitty woke up. No one said which of the three tigers in that cage did significant damage to the man’s arms.
Now add one more thing – its sometime after 1:00 AM when this happened.
I am guessing that it was one of the females that woke up and met the man in her cage. She thought she was having one of those good dreams where the prey walks right up to her and she simple has to bight it… never having to chase the prey down.
I mean that is a “Good Tiger Dream” – an easy kill.
I am married to a “Tigress”. My Chinese friends lovingly refer to a lady my wife’s age as “LouFoo” – or Tigress… she is the one in charge of the family and all matters of the “cage”. What Mama wants, Mama Gets… and when Mama aint happy – there aint no body happy.
Now it just happened that my Tigress last night had a little problem sleeping… or I should say during her sleep. I was sound asleep. So was my wife... She began to talk to some one. After a considerable time of talking with words that made no sense at all… she then started to be more animated… with arms flailing and feet kicking… climaxing all of this action with a blood curdling scream. At 2:12 AM I carefully climbed out of bed and retreated to my office and stayed there until 4 AM. I knew better than to be in bed – in the cage with Tigress in that mode and at that time of the night.
Too funny! Yawn!
The dumb guy in the Calgary Zoo must not be married.
Each morning of the week at about 7 AM there is a group of haggard looking men at McDonalds early. They look half dead as they sip coffee. “Come on guys – look alive” I said… to which one reply was, “This morning I am just glad that I am alive – I don’t have to look like I am do I?”
I guess the night before was not so good in the Cage.
Messing with the LouFoo is not smart.
My French Friends greet each other by saying “Comment allez vous?” meaning “How are you?”
When my Chinese friends hear that they die laughing at the French expression… which sounds to them like, “Gum Maan da LouFoo!” The crazy French guy in his greeting to the Chinese guy was telling him that tonight I am going to beat the Old Tigress.
I can surmise one major thing from the Calgary Zoo story… the guy that got into the tangle with the Tigress was not Chinese. Probably not an Albertan either… they know what Grizzly Bears are all about… and Tigers are bigger.
My uneducated guess was that it was a “Newfie” that was looking for a job… maybe with a little screech in him… and the dare came from his buddy… “Moi son, moi son… tink of what the da folks back in Tiny Tickle wood tink of ya if ya cuddled up to a Tiger. I tells ya my son… you can’t do dat back home can yas… Go ahead buddy da fence aint that high…”
I mean with my great love for my second home of Newfoundland… there are few folk that swim that channel sometimes or climb aboard the old ferry to make it great in Toronna… only to find that Calgary is the New Toronna… and well they end up in Calgary early one morning with nuttin to do… and so far from home – moi son… so far! And well.. some of them are pure entertainment… down right funny Moi Son!
Now I do feel for the poor dude in the Calgary hospital… he won’t be picking his nose sometime too soon… or doing what ever else good arms should be doing with your hands. Seems like going to the bathroom might be an adventure from now on… but after the meeting with the Tigress the other night he may not to go to the bathroom too soon… at least another week or so I would say.
Off the wall as it may seem – maybe our buddy from the Rock was from “Ming’s Bight” A lot of Tigers I know are named “Ming” by their Zoo Keepers.
“Terday… I wants to tank moi buddy for da funny story. I knows ya will be a hurtin today… and maybe the arm might even come off at some point. Ming looked pretty happy laying in her cage this morning… Yous a good dude… buy… a good un… a little tic around the ears – but a good un!”
You hang in there ole buddy! ‘Eyes’ a pulling for ya all.
Why am I so tired?
~ Murray Lincoln ~
http://www.murraylincoln.com/
Source:
Ming’s Bight, Nfld
http://www.theweathernetwork.com/weather/canf0173
http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/20091005/calgary_zoo_091005/20091005?hub=Canada
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