Saturday, September 15, 2012

Reflections of the old days – I miss it – yet I don’t

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Reflections of the old days – I miss it – yet I don’t
Every once in a while I get the old feelings back again from my Pastoral Days of mild pressure. Today is one of them.

There is a mixture of delight together with sadness.

Today our Granddaughter Emma has her first football game of the season. She is the kicker for the Steelers Football Team which is part of the Kinsmen Minor Football Club.  She has been named the Captain of her team. She is also recovering from four broken bones in her left foot this summer… but kicks the football with her right foot.

It sucks that soccer is out of her scope this year – but Football will do for now.

Immediately after the Football Game I am meeting the family of dear lady that passed away. Later in the afternoon I will take part in her memorial service.

The contrast of emotions today will be more than the normal person will have experienced by 4 PM.  But pretty normal for what the Minister of a church has often.

There is mixed feelings inside now. I kind of miss it… but also don’t. The old pressure to be what the people need you to be is rising as the day goes on. There is pressure in the family dynamics of this family as well… that need to be tipped toed around.  By 4 PM that will be over for me – but they will have to sort it out for the rest of their lives if they even try to do so. Mom was the glue – and take mom away and well… it kind of falls apart.

So first I concentrate on Football and one beautiful granddaughter that is going to kick butt.  Then I will deal with the rest later.  I may sleep restlessly tonight… but I have known that feeling before… many times before as I rehearse the things that happened today.

I don’t miss this part at all.

How do you get by it and not have the feelings?  You don’t. But you can focus on what is coming next week. And it looks very good from the vantage point of this week!

Thanks of for listening to me – that helps.

Murray Lincoln

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