When “No” is “Yes”

The text that comes along with short video simply states the following…
“A poor guy fishing at the river. He is barefoot, has very basic clothes and a wicker basket for fish. Suddenly his bob float starts to vibrate and the man pulls up a golden fish.
Just after the man unhooks the fish, it starts to speak. The goldfish says proudly that he is not a common fish, but a goldfish. He makes the man an offer – if the man spares him, the fish will fulfill any wish the man has. The man is very surprised but instead of saying yes, he replies “No”. He puts the fish into the basket and takes him home. He lives in a very basic hovel. In the yard there is a goat eating the grass and three young children playing. When the man arrives, they are very excited as their father has caught a fish. A woman is standing in the doorway. She looks at the basket and is very happy. She takes the basket and brings it inside. The fact that the fish is constantly babbling doesn’t seem to bother her. Meanwhile the fish keeps talking, promising that he can fulfill a wish, whatever it is, if they let him back to the river. Finally the fish realises that maybe the family does not understand him, but at this point it is too late…”

I have watched this over and over again thinking about my own short comings in communication. My post of yesterday brought back a flood of memories of my days in Hong Kong. In that posting I referred to the fact that I had achieved a rudimentary level of one of the Chinese Dialects – Cantonese. I had enough of the language to get into trouble but not enough to get out of trouble.

One of my Chinese friends that was honest with me in a humorous way was listening one day to my interaction with some of the Canadian Students that had come to help us in Hong Kong. I had been trying my limited Cantonese out with some of the folk in the market area. The Canadian student was so impressed with the way that I could “talk to the market person” – and wished sincerely that they could have done the same thing in speaking at that moment.

My Chinese Friend looked at me with a grin and “Yes, enough Cantonese to impress your western friends…”

That was the truth at that stage… I could talk at them and make my words sound good… but if they talked to me… and changed the topic… I was dead. I could understand what I wanted to understand… not what they wanted me to understand or for me to catch their drift… and what their need was.

The fish in the video is apparently able to grant many requests and wishes if they only let him go back into the water. Instead they eat him – placing his bones carefully back on to a platter in the shape of his fish body. He has met their need. And it happened without having to learn his English language. On the reverse side of that if they had known what he was promising they would have had every wish they had granted.

The point of contact was the fish’s questions… which if the poor fisherman would have understood… would not have been answered by No No… No… no no… Then when the fish asks the horrified question/exclamation… “You’re not going to eat me!!!...” the lady replies with a cleaver… “NO”.

Back in Hong Kong I was the fish out of water and babbling. The greatest lesson for me in the time spent there – My world was so different than theirs… and they really had been doing quite well without “my supervision and over lording”.

I had mentioned in my posting that some missionaries had acted like “Great White Gods” when dealing with churches that were in existence and growing. Nothing could happen without the Missionary’s approval.

This fact had existed since the first contact with China and the Gospel message. White Man had brought the message to the Yellow Man… and because he knew best they should listen. One example… It was so extreme that Missionaries had brought in a rule that only Ordained Men could serve communion… so Chinese Pastors had to wait a long time to get ordained – sometimes it happened in their last years – just before they died.

Are you shocked by this colonial way of doing things? In the 1980s that rule still existed.

The greatest thing we thought we could do for the Chinese Students was to teach them English and do it our way. That is where the short video and the small babbling gold fish brought it home for me.

Am I knocking old missionaries? No – not at all. They worked within what they knew and what they were taught to do… to be Great White Gods.

What if we listened to each other better? What if we had done things differently?

The short video is part of the contest winners that came out of a International meeting where global languages and communication with each other had been discussed.

One thought…. I need to try harder to understand what the other person is actually saying to me – in case I miss some very big promises that might help me.

Back in Hong Kong 27 years ago I witnessed the most extreme conflict ever.

I was walking in an area of Kowloon that sometimes had tourist looking around. White people like me were not in abundance… only once in a while one would happen by.

I was standing with more than 50 people waiting to cross the street. One the other side of the street was another group about the same size wanting to come across to the side we were on.

In the middle of the other group stood a male tourist with a large belly, a loud Hawaiian shirt on, and a camera hanging around his neck. He looked lost. As I approached him standing on the corner he was looking the other way… and in an exasperated LOUD voice he shouted… “Doesn’t anyone here SPEAK ENGLISH???!”

Not one Chinese person even turned a head his way. They would have nothing to do with this guy… ignorant and loud.

Now what would happen inside of families… or in an office… or in a church… if we listened to the other person(s) speaking?

~ Murray Lincoln ~
http://www.murraylincoln.com/

Sources to consider…
No Fishing Video
http://ec.europa.eu/education/languages/video/lenses_en.htm