“If only I had thought of that!”

“If only I had thought of that!”

That thought has been mine for a long time. Every time I see something that makes so much sense. “The guy that thought up that idea is amazing!”

Well maybe not every idea is good.

I came across some of these inventions that never went too far. Take a look…

Page Turner
This one was designed for musicians this dates from 1905. Sheet music could be prepared for turning by fixing the top of each metal rod on to the desired page. When ready, a catch was pulled free and the page flipped over.

Direction Finder
A watch like Direction finder – an original GPS locator – small scrolls that fit into a wrist strap holder that then is turned as you follow directions along the road.
The Envelope Sealer
This invention, by Reynolds of Chicago, was a byword for gravitas and efficiency. When the lever is cranked, a roller forces an open envelope to undergo a dampening process, before a second roller presses it closed.
Double Sided Cigarette Holder
This double holder, pictured above right, is thought to have been inspired by a fictional cigarette case belonging to Bulldog Drummond -hero of Sapper's bestselling crime novels of the day - which 'held Turkish on one side and Virginian on the other'.

Light Spectacles
Invented in the U.S. in the 1930s, these specs were adorned with two small, battery-powered lights, with a long wire trailing beneath. The experience was marred only by the likelihood of electrocution when it rained.
Eye Massager
Apparently it was not enough to have a gadget for massaging the body. By the 1920s, it was also deemed necessary to devise a mechanism to massage the eyeballs. This convoluted gadget was pressed to the face. The user would then operate the small lever to compress the rubber bellows which would in turn emit cool puffs of air directly onto the eyeballs.
Moustache Protector
Having a bushy moustache has always been something of an obstacle to refined dining - particularly when it came to mulligatawny soup. The answer was to use a moustache protector, spoon or cup - designed with a hole for the mustachioed man to sip through.
Finger Stretcher for Pianists
Developed in America in 1910 to help pianists hit the sprawling notes demanded by the likes of Stravinsky and Debussy. Careful use was required: it is thought the composer Schumann destroyed his hands using an early version.

On second thought… some of these are pretty dumb.

As I pondered some of these inventions I wondered at why anyone(s) would spend so much time coming up with these ideas? It took time and money. Yet at the end there was nothing there of use – except a chuckle from someone viewing it many years later.

The other day I sat with Emma as we watched a Movie entitled “Fly Boys”. A group of American men traveled to France during the First World War and entered the French Air Force to fight the Germans. The aircraft were Biplanes and Triplanes… planes that had two and three wings. They also had one motor and an open cockpit. In front of the pilot was a gun that shot bullets between the propeller blade tips as it turned.

When the man flying the airplane was in trouble after being hit by an enemy – it was all over for him. He went down with his plane.

After a number of good guys were killed this way Emma turned to ask me a question. “Grandpa, why don’t they just jump out with their parachute?”

I explained to Emma – “The parachute wasn’t invented at that time.”

She paused for a minute looking at me steadily as she thought. He response was clear, “That is stupid!”

It was so clear to her that the answer was to simply make one and then use it. Why would anyone go up in a machine that would possibly kill them – with no way out?

I looked at all there wonderful inventions that went no where – thinking of the inventor. Then I thought of Emma’s statement about something that was needed desperately.

Then I thought of God… as he looks on at what we do with our time and effort. He must smile sometimes with what he sees taking place. The creator watching the creation try to imitate what he does is rather funny.

I watched a small boy creating something special for his daddy. It was comical. His work was clumsy and the results were very rudimentary to say the least. I could have stepped up and said “Here let me do that for you.” - but I let him create – and his creation was his pure joy.

I guess God is like that with us as well. God must smile a lot when he watches me. Too funny!

~ Murray Lincoln ~
http://www.murraylincoln.com/