Viva… VIVA… VIVAAAAAAA !!!!!

I stepped up on the tread mill early in the morning yesterday. 5:30 AM - the clock said. I then grabbed the remote and popped on the TV. Away I go – on another walk indoors on the cold winter day. I have just gone over the 30 mile marker for last month – it is getting easier.

But it is not like my University Days when I ran each night for 6 miles – often completing over 50 miles in a week. Those were the days… full of vim, vigor and vinegar… oh yah! Man could I do it back then. I was on the amateur wrestling club as well… and the badminton team. THERE WAS NOTHING THAT I COULD NOT DO!

As the tread mill sped up and my pace increased my breathing was quickening as well. Perspiration was now coming to my forehead and back. This was working. Just past a quarter mile and am now hitting 3.5 miles per hour… at this rate I can do a mile in about 20 some minutes… puff puff…

On the TV Screen a new ad came on. It was all about something called JUVENON. Sounds like juvenile – something young. Then old people with gray hair popped on to the screen to tell me that they felt 15, 20 or more years younger. They were popping out of bed earlier and feeling more wide awake than they have for years after taking JUVENON.

Okay… puff puff… it is early and this is early morning TV stuff – selling me something that they think I need.

Then they started talking about their Libido. It seems their Libido left on a holiday and was now back. Each time these old gaffers talked about their Libido – they grinned – just a little.

One older fellow snickered, “Seven days after starting JUVENON I woke up with something else happening that hasn’t happened for a number of years. My Libido was back.”

Did I need to know that? No. But hey.. it is early morning TV and I am on a tread mill almost trotting now… and passing 1/3 of a mile.

As the promises of JUVENON were made with these testimonials I grinned. I wonder what the guy’s wife thinks, “Crazy old fool… why can’t he just sleep longer. What is he doing out there this morning on the lawn at 6 AM? Must be a mid life crisis – but at 77 this is nuts! Harry, Get in here before the neighbours think you are completely nuts! What have you got that old University Sweat suit on for – IT DOESN’T FIT!”

I imagine that Harry’s kids are complaining too. Mom is tired all the time with Dad dragging her all over the country. And with Dad now wanting to do that half marathon in two months things have changed big time.

I just passed the ½ mile maker… puffing harder now and sweating more.

JUVENON then went off as I changed the channels… and my favorite old show was on. Great to see this kind of program now… when all the other stuff that is on is so stupid… “Survivor”… “American Idol” and “Canadian Idol”… and that other dumb stuff…

Nuts… more commercials… “Enzyte” – natural male enhancement…. And it came on and on and on – every commercial was about “Enzyte” – for Pete’s sake… this is early morning TV…

Switch channels… the familiar musical strain was coming on with gusto… It was an Elvis impersonator “Viva, Viva, Viva Viagra….”

The Viagra Web Site states the same thing that the “background voice guy” said so quickly on TV…
Important safety information Don't take VIAGRA if you take nitrates, often prescribed for chest pain, as this may cause a sudden, unsafe drop in blood pressure. Discuss your general health status with your doctor to ensure that you are healthy enough to engage in sexual activity. If you experience chest pain, nausea, or any other discomforts during sex, seek immediate medical help. As with any ED tablet, in the rare event of an erection lasting more than 4 hours, seek immediate medical help to avoid long-term injury. If you are older than age 65, or have serious liver or kidney problems, your doctor may start you at the lowest dose (25 mg) of VIAGRA. If you are taking protease inhibitors, such as for the treatment of HIV, your doctor may recommend a 25-mg dose and may limit you to a maximum single dose of 25 mg of VIAGRA in a 48-hour period. In rare instances, men taking PDE5 inhibitors (oral erectile dysfunction medicines, including VIAGRA) reported a sudden decrease or loss of vision. It is not possible to determine whether these events are related directly to these medicines or to other factors. If you experience sudden decrease or loss of vision, stop taking PDE5 inhibitors, including VIAGRA, and call a doctor right away.
Hokey Mokey… chest pain, nausea, or any other discomforts during sex… an erection lasting more than 4 hours… and then blindness… (that is what loss of vision is all about) – I GUESS IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO CALL A DOCTOR – or the Coroner…

Now I THINK THIS IS FUNNY… it is early morning TV – one show wants me to buy JUVENON to get up earlier, get back my Libido(wherever it went), another is selling me something to be natural…. And one is telling me Viva Viva Viva….

Just passed the ¾ mile mark… sweat is really coming now… the flash backs of the feelings in University are coming quickly now… one mile, two miles, three miles, four miles…. Man oh man this feels good!

My heart is nearly exploding… and my head is pounding… and I can… make it… .88 of a mile…. Come on…. Viva…. You can make it… .94 of a mile… .99…. ONE MILE… yahoo!

The thought has crossed my mind on one or two mornings, “If I had a major coronary at the half mile marker… at 5:30 AM – while watching TV and the commercials… Alida, my wife, might find me about 9:30 AM or 10 AM…. Cold shivers hit me at that point…

But if I crossed/mixed JUVENON with ENZYTE and mixed in the smaller amount of Viagra recommended for older men… and then slowed down my tread mill workouts a little…. Maybe it would work… I COULD LIVE FOREVER…..

But there is something very funny about that mental image… this shriveled up old gaffer, with the saggy belly…skinny legs… solid white hair… sun tanned skin with dark sun spots all over… strutting around the pool in Florida…. leering at the sun bathed beauties around the pool.. while singing “Viva, Viva, Viva Las Vegas… I mean Viagra…”

God just told me that it is okay to be old. Alida told me yesterday that she loves me just the way that I am… and well the grandkids kind of expect me to stay the same. If I became that old shriveled up gaffer… they may never talk to me again….

And somehow… chest pain, nausea, or any other discomforts during sex… an erection lasting more than 4 hours… and then blindness just isn’t too appealing!

As far as getting up any earlier… if I took that stuff… I wouldn’t need to go to bed… Viva… VIVA… VIVAAAAAAA!!!!!

~ Murray Lincoln ~

Source:
http://juvenon.com/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enzyte
http://www.viagra.com/viva-viagra-music.aspx
http://www.viagra.com/viagra-safety.aspx
http://bingskee.com/?p=626