"DADDY!"

The unique sign hung in the very creative shop and jumped from the wall. Its statement was very powerful after what I had just been through. It said, “Home is where the Story Begins”

I had just witnessed the initial steps of a family making contact with each other. A Dad was allowed back into his sons’ lives – and it went okay… in fact it was excellent.

On Wednesday morning early we left on a four hour drive through a snow storm trying to meet an 11:30 AM appointment at the Children’s Aid Society office. This was the last step after months of preparation and planning for this meeting.

Huge questions loomed for me as I drove my friend to this meeting. Would his former wife be able to drive the distance that she had to through this storm as well? The meeting place was not near the homes of either party.

Would the reception be tense and expressions of anger develop because of the past? Would the children even talk let alone look at my friend? There were hundreds of questions – because of the past and the present…hundreds. This was a four drive one way and another four hour drive home. Will it be worth it all?

We arrived at 11:45 AM – fifteen minutes late – after getting lost in the small town and directed to the wrong location.

Before I tell you what happened, let me share a small thumbnail sketch of the past. The sign said, “Home is where the Story Begins” This is never more true than with this family.

My passenger riding with me is a former Federal Prisoner. He has been in prison for almost 2 and half years. His sentence was 4 years for his crime but he was released in less time than he was sentenced to because of his personal problems. While inside of prison a tumor began to grow inside his brain. It is life threatening. He was considered for a “Compassionate Parole” and was granted his freedom upon the condition that there was somewhere/someone in the community that could take care of him. Peterborough Community Chaplaincy(PCC) was that group.

I am a volunteer with PCC and a friend of this former Federal Prisoner – now known as an ex-offender. His crime has left a permanent and indelible mark. There is no doubt about that. That mark is not only on his life as short as it may be, but also on the lives of four sons and his wife. It also has marked and separated all of his own family(mother and siblings) with the shame of what he did and community embarrassment. When he came from prison he had no one… not even a doctor to help him toward the next crisis that looms with a brain tumor growing.

PCC and its volunteers have grown into a new family for him. His parole officer Bill has supported and cared for him like few would have. He truly lucked out with this support.

Back up three years…
The crime committed happened at home. No one really knew until a fateful night when the police arrived to arrest him. From that minute on his life changed forever. I doubt that any of you as readers could imagine his first jail cell experience that first night. He was a well known community person that people were proud of. He owned his business and loved his kids & wife. No one would have any idea that he would be a potential “bad guy” living and working near them. From one minute of being loved and respected to the next – hated because of a crime.

His boys were sound asleep and knew nothing of their father’s arrest that night. They were young, handsome kids ranging from 12 down to 7 years old. They had an older brother that was 19 as well.

When they woke their dad was gone. Anger, frustration, fear, - there are a million thoughts that might have taken small boys when their father suddenly disappears in a night.

The older kids understood I am sure. The younger ones likely would not have. With a community as small as this one they lived in… everyone knows everything. And that community includes school mates. I am only imagining what these sons went through over these past 3 years.

But remember with me there is a mom who was also a wife caught in this tragedy as well. One minute everything was smooth and family… and the next it became a nightmare. I can only imagine how her life changed after that knock on the door, the police arrest and the stillness of her home mixed into her personal shock and horror of what had just taken place.

Days, weeks, months and then years would seal the fate of the family. It would be and was broken.

Crime does that in such a tragic way. If people considering their potential crime could only hear these stories that are so real… they would never go near what they may be considering… NEVER! But that is an “if only”.

Yesterday…
As we walked toward the CAS office my friend’s steps were very slow. He drags his right foot slowly, every step is an effort. The walkway was long and slow. Up ahead were his three sons waiting for him. The last time they saw him he was a vibrant man – full of life and love for them. Now he is a broken and unhealthy man with a tumor growing that may take his life. What will they think? What will happen? It was very quiet as we walked toward the meeting room.

The CAS worker opened the door for us. Before he could say anything the boys jumped up and cried out “DADDY!” and the hugging started. The first one to greet him was his 15 year old. The second group was his two youngest. Then his former wife and her friend greeted him too.

I left the room for a while to retrieve his gifts for his sons from the car. I also left to cry a little and blow my own nose. This was one of the most powerful meetings I had ever experienced. All my questions were answered in a heart beat. All of my personal fears were swished away with one word, “DADDY!”

It was a very good first meeting with their dad. It lasted from 11:45 AM until 1:30 PM – every second counted. When it was over we were beginning to plan for the next one – should it be allowed and be able to happen with the help of CAS.

We left at 1:30 PM and arrived home at 8:40 PM. Slow driving, poor road conditions, lots of snow plow trucks and a few places to stop for coffee… filling every minute with talk and savoring of the minutes that we had together.

As a side benefit my wife had made a new friend with his former wife – and they have much in common.

My friend has some difficulty with his speech at times. The tumor makes his speech slow and words are at times hard to retrieve.

In the car on that long way home, he reached over and touched my shoulder. He said, “Thank you. Without the two of you helping me today this could never have happened. Thank you so much.”

I am thankful for Peterborough Community Chaplaincy and its plan to love everyone. I am thankful for Dan Haley, our Community Chaplain – without him none of these steps would have ever have happened. I am thankful for a GREAT Parole Officer Bill.

And most of all I am thankful to God for allowing me to be this close to see the miracle of Grace and Mercy that he is working in this family.

I think God giggled yesterday when he heard that one word…. “DADDY!”

~ Murray Lincoln ~
PS – Yes… I have photos of all that happened… but you can’t see them. At least not right away. Sorry!