Friday, January 27, 2012

The Bank of Dad and Mum

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Today’s Blog Post
The Bank of Dad and Mum

For a number of weeks now I have considered placing some thoughts to together about the “Bank of Dad and Mum”. But today I caught a story about just this amazing fact in all of our lives. Parents give or loan the kids money – they need to not just want to.

If all goes the way that it usually does, the kids will get the money when Dad and Mum pass away. But if there are a lot of kids, the money will be split up.

When Mum and Dad become the resource or bank for the kids when they are alive, the kids can get more individually… and maybe not pay it back in the end.

But that is not what I want to talk about today.

When I was growing up… at that stage of growing up I was already married, my Dad loaned me money to buy a car.

The old one that we had was in terrible shape and wouldn’t last the winter. Dad saw a good deal and took me to meet his friend at the dealership. After a good conversation and some exciting new cars that we looked at, my Dad suggested that I should buy the new car. I hesitated and knew I couldn’t get a loan with my salary as a pastor. Dad pulled me aside and told me that he had saved some money and wanted me to buy the car with that money. I could pay him back each month the same way that we would a bank.

I can still remember the warm and excited feeling that I had when I agreed to get that loan from Dad. My wife and I had talked and wondered how we would replace the old car that we were driving… and there it was. The Bank of Dad was my resource.

The real story behind it was that we had two little girls that Dad loved… and that were riding around in an almost dangerous vehicle held together with wire and prayer.

That brand new Mazda stationed wagon was a beautiful car! We drove it until it died of old age too. And it was paid off in a few years of each month car payments to Dad. We never missed one payment.

The tradition has continued. This new Bank of Dad that lives in our house(me) has done the same again for our girls at certain times when they needed it. The blessing has been to see them use the money and then move on. Neither has come back begging… both are self-sufficient. Some day they will inherit what we have not spent.

I am watching some other Banks of the Parent that have not been so successful. With their own resources sometimes shrinking they are not getting the money back again. The kids are suffering and so are the parents.

In the article that I read today it stated that 93% of parents surveyed had given financial advice… and 80% of them had given money – either loans or outright gifts.

That is very different from two generations ago following a world war… and the dirty thirties. People couldn’t and wouldn’t do such a thing. Everyone made it on their own.

I wonder what will happen to the next generation.

On TV now there is a new program entitled “My House Your Money”… where a kid wants to buy a house of their own… and the parents are involved by funding or backing the purchase. The tensions that rise as over-lording parents tell what they like and don’t like – and get into conflict with their kid over the dynamics involved. It is amusing to day the least.

You can watch it online as well at http://watchseries.eu/serie/my_house,_your_money

This certainly is a new era. Families are changing and so is the “Bank of Dad and Mum”.

My Dad had a plaque that he kept for a long time and he quoted it often. It said, “Being of sound mind, I went out and spent the whole darn thing!”

Hmmm?
~ Murray Lincoln ~
http://www.murraylincoln.com/ 

Resource:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sponsored/health/cancer-research-uk/8792305/Finance-The-Bank-of-Mum-and-Dad.html?utm_source=tmg&utm_medium=td_8792305&utm_campaign=cruk2701

http://www.cineflixproductions.com/shows/98-My-House-Your-Money

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