Wednesday, October 19, 2011

“Activia” – Dancing and Slow Intestinal Transit

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Today’s Blog Post

“Activia” – Dancing and Slow Intestinal Transit
My friend Chad asked me what my favorite TV Program was since we now have Cable in our home. I don’t think I can say one program over the next yet. (It is definitely not the “Reality TV” that has nothing real about it, except that it is “on” when you hit one of the Channels.)

But maybe I do have a favorite part… it is all the new advertisements that flood most TV programs… specially the ones from the USA. Some of these are simply brilliant and it makes me want to go out to buy their product just because the designers of the ads are so sharp!

My wife and I were watching the old movie that included a lot of Dancing. In fact at our stage in life the moves portrayed on the screen were all done by very young people. Even when they shot this movie the youthful actors and actresses must have had to shoot and reshoot the scenes to get all the actions into the moves they made. It was spellbinding to watch the dances to the amazing music.

Notice I described an “old movie” that was popular a few years back… when we were younger. In all likelihood it was watched by many old people like ourselves – who once upon-a-time used to move a lot and maybe even do the dances that were in the movie. But we are not young anymore. We don’t move the same now… or maybe at all…

That is the setting for the brilliant “Activia”, a Danone Canada Product. The ads describe it a Probiotic Yogurt.

When going to their Web Site I caught the message again… “Feel rhythm everyday..” If I clicked on the link provided I could get a MP3 of Coeur de Pirate singing Buddy Holly’s hit “Everyday”. And clicking on the Link takes me to a Facebook Page for Danone Canada.

Now during the Dancing movie, at almost every ad spot, Danone brought the thought to my mind… that “Activia” will keep me moving like the young people on TV.

I will “Feel the rhythm” if I consume “Activia”.

On the “Activia” Web Site I read these words… quote…
“Activia® is a yogurt with a probiotic culture, now available for the first time in Canada from Danone. Activia® contains a exclusive strain of bifidobacteria, called Bifidobacterium (animalis) lactis, or BL RegularisTM.

All yogurts typically contain two bacterial cultures: Lactobacillus bulgaricus and Streptococcus thermophilis. These friendly bacteria have been demonstrated to help digest lactose in lactose-intolerant people. In addition to these cultures, Activia® also contains Bifidobacterium (animalis) lactis - BL RegularisTM.

Danone's researchers added the BL RegularisTM strain to Activia® owing to its beneficial effects on colonic digestion.” End quote.

Now hold on here… I didn’t get the highest marks in my chemistry classes so long ago… and maybe the marks in Micro Biology were a little better… but some of this stuff listed sounds a little closer to dangerous for an old guy like me – than I want it to be.

I am old enough to remember the “Hippy Days” when all of us were creating Macramé and trying to make our own Yogurts. Yuk! It was the most awful tasting stuff ever. It was supposed to be good for you… but it was made from letting “culture stuff” cook slowly until it was ready. My image of bacteria slowly cooking in a dark place and then me having to eat was not so cool.

“Bifidobacterium (animalis)”? You’ve got to be kidding me! Doesn’t Bi – mean two… fido – now meaning dog… and bacterium… all in one word!!??? Then bracket in Animalis! Good Lord! This is not something that makes me want to open my mouth wide, swallow and then shake like I have a grass skirt on!

“Lactobacillus bulgaricus and Streptococcus thermophilis”!!!! – the two ingredients that Yogurt typically contains they say. No wonder it used to taste like YUK!

Doesn’t Streptococcus kill people? And making it “thermophilis” sounds as if I could get real hot taking this stuff. BUT I would be able to Dance better! And every day I could “feel the Rhythm”!

And when they blast away at my mind for a dozen times over and over again during a show… I am almost ready to buy some. If it could help my wife to have that jiggling/wiggling mid-section again… wear a grass skirt and look like she is just about the most sexy thing on earth… maybe I would eat it too….?!

Now wait just a ding dong minute… I would be eating it. Will it affect my eyes too? It has my ears with the Rhythm… and my imagination… but will I see something differently if I eat it?

Now can you see the power of the “Activia” ads? That is amazing what they have done. They have actually got an Old Koot like me wondering if “Activia” could do me some good.

But I still was not sure at the end of the movie about Dancing.

Then yesterday “Activia” did it again! They truly tried to help an old guy really understand… but it was more riddle language… and ideas. But it was BRILLIANT – ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT just the same!!!

Here goes… are you ready?

If I eat “Activia” it will help me with my “slow intestinal transit”!

Now there is a brand new creation by Ad People. “Slow intestinal transit”!

In the good old days of the Hippy Life we simply called it for what it was, Constipation… or “all bunged up”… having a great need for laxative…

But to say one might have “slow intestinal transit” that is hilarious!

The people I know think of “Transit” as…
tran•sit (tr n s t, -z t)
1. The act of passing over, across, or through; passage.
a. Conveyance of people or goods from one place to another, especially on a local public transportation system.
b. The system or vehicles used for such conveyance.
3. A transition or change, as to a spiritual existence at death.
4. Astronomy
a. The passage of a celestial body across the observer's meridian.
b. The passage of a smaller celestial body or its shadow across the disk of a larger celestial body.
5. A surveying instrument similar to a theodolite that measures horizontal and vertical angles.

Nowhere have I ever heard a good bowel movement called a “transit”! Maybe it is a nice medical term for not being able to Poop. Maybe it is not nice for me to say to my doctor, “Hey Doc, I haven’t pooped in over a week.” It is better to say I haven’t “transited”.

He will look at me rather funny I am sure if I use either term. The term is bowel movement – I am sure.

But saying a “slow intestinal movement” is odd too. I slow down my bowels when I am reading a good book – or until my mother is knocking on the bathroom door – and I have been in there too long for her liking.

The generation that I live in… and the people that I am celebrating their age group with… maybe are all having a “Slow Intestinal Transit” I feel for them. It has not been my problem…dancing is… but not the other.

I have to end this. It is getting too silly. My mind rages with New Thoughts. And My Hat goes off to the “Activia” People. I need to try your stuff.

But before I end – I want to wish my friend Winston, a guy in my age group, a Happy Birthday and may you be able to deal with your “Slow Intestinal Transit” – if you have one! But come to think of it guys seldom speak of their “transit”.

~ Murray Lincoln ~ 


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