What was…Mixed with what is…Stirred thoroughly with what will possibly be...

Making room for my New Life is not easy. Yikes!

Last evening I completed one step more toward freedom. I dumped two full boxes of old sermons. Now I know you may not start laughing as a Retired Minister – dumps old sermons. But there is a giggle in that. Who wants to hear an old sermon anyway? The first time was enough. I agree now.

For some reason I saved them. Dumb – dumb – dumb. Nothing but a pile of paper now… yet there is more.

I did stop on my way through the boxes and read over one or two – or shudder as I read MANY MORE! They are my old friends in a strange way. I knew each of them personally. I gave birth to these concepts. I poured my heart and soul into the material that was linked to the paper. Each one was thought out, each one was changed again and again, each one was prayed over. And believe it or not I checked each one out with my BIG Boss… who gave it a nod to proceed – no matter how hard it was to preach it.

These two boxes represented about 20,000 hours alone of preparation that covered almost every topic thinkable.

As I read through some of them and the small fine tuning notes at the edge of the papers… I remembered the time that I preached each one. It was then that the huge waves of emotions swept over me like strong waves at the Ocean Front…it almost toppled me.

Each sermon was presented after Life Experiences – Life Tragedies – Life Victories. They were the baring of my soul… the very essence of me.

Some sermons made people so angry I heard about it afterwards. Others were causing responses that moved me deeply as they said “Thank you…”

I had thought that I had professionally removed myself from each one – and used it as a tool to help people. But last night in a heavy way I realized that they were part of me…almost like one of my kids. They were seeds out of me – hopefully finding a place to germinate.

In a way it was like giving up old friends that would never be seen again – a good bye at a train station knowing this one will never return again.

But a powerful thing happened as I released them… I am now living in a new day… that needs a new way. Each new place that I now attend or speak in requires some NEW for that day… not some old tired sermon that is sluggish as it uses old illustrations to get the tired idea across.

I have heard fellow, old pastors, pick out the OLD SERMONS and try to get people to respond with the VERY OLD IDEAS. Not good… not bright and not what I want to hear.

No I am not writing about Old Sermons… I am writing about giving something up personally. I am writing about that turmoil I feel when something close to me is torn from me.

I have come to see that it can be things that I have collected over the years.

I have heard the deep sigh of the older people as their kids deal with getting rid of their precious things – as they are required to down size to a smaller area.

My mom did it with my sisters helping in the first stage. I did it in the next stage. And I will likely do it in the next stage as well. I now hurt with her realizing that I too ma doing the same thing.

Where does this all come from as I write today? I think it is one of the surprises that I had waiting for me in my 65th Land Marking Year. I am now into the first week of my 65th! What an adventure!

I am passing the Sermonizing Stage and entering the Reflective Stage. My times are now considering what was…mixed with what is… stirred thoroughly with what will possibly be.

I cannot again live out what was. I am not able to stay in what is. I am looking forward to what will be….grandkids getting married… new ideas… new opportunity… new friends that I meet… and tomorrow’s journey. And that is the best part – my tomorrows… oh I can’t wait!

Sooo… if you need some help throwing out the emotional stuff… call me…email me… I can cry with you… I can laugh with you… I can simply be there as you toss away old stuff.

~ Murray Lincoln ~
www.murraylincoln.com