Tackling the Monster File

Tackling the “monster files” in my garage is a royal nightmare! This should have been done years ago…but always toooo busy. I needed to discard – but never had the time. Now is the time. They have collected in the garage upon my retirement from the church and moving from the church office.

As I shoveled through box after box… I slowed to a crawl. Then I stopped… I was caught in the “File Monster’s” teeth… and I began reading, reading, reading, and savoring, savoring, savoring… then – ouch – saving! NO! It must go out!

Then the “Fun File” appeared. Well it isn’t exactly “fun”. It is a pain in the “@&&” file over all the years.

Since 1974 I have received the ugly letters, threatening letters, disgruntled letters, the “I know better than you” letters, the “I will leave the church if you don’t do it my way” letters. You name it and they are all in that file.

When the first letter arrived, which was from a very nasty, self proclaimed Witch – I didn’t know what to do with it… so I dropped it in a file folder. Then came the super mean board member’s letter that threatened fowl play if I didn’t listen to him and his wife.

And in most recent years the file filled with the ugly letters and comments… from the “Northview Gang”… note I didn’t say the Northview Church. They were a Gang…and many worked together. Their intent was to bully and badger everyone. Most that wrote letters that were in that file are either gone from the church – or some are… well… dead.

As I read through the file I felt the sting and the anxiety attack that was there when the letter arrived. Ouch. It was so unfair.

There was the grandma that wrote because her grandson went to the youth group – and when he arrived he was expected to pay $2.25 for an outing to the local Fast Food joint. He apparently didn’t have the money – went home mad – and the grandmother quit the church. No kidding! It really happened!

I shuddered with the emotions that came back… then I relaxed and it was all gone. These people are now some one else’s problem – not mine anymore.

But there is a “wonderful file” that is filled with the happy people’s expression of love and concern. I never kept enough of these however. There are a few saved. The good problem was that you would not be potentially sued by these people. The miserable people threatened all kinds of things.

My wife saw the file and has started reading it slowly… remembering. Then she made a decision that she will begin a scrap book of sorts with all the letters placed in the book carefully. Her intention is to have it on display at my funeral with a title of “Nails in My Coffin”. In other words – these dear folk are the ones that killed my husband!

Nope – it never happened. I have lived to tell about the file and read it again.

The other day I saw one man that wrote a very accusing letter that is in the file. He cannot remember where home is. His wife tends to remind him that the person standing in front of him is “Joe – you remember honey… Joe sat near us in church years ago.”

There is some regret with the file and the letters in it. I think of all the lost relationships and broken possibilities that could have been… all because of ornery attitudes. It is sad to say the least.

But then again I grin… because I thank God that I didn’t marry that kind of person. Wahoo… I am sorry for the dude that did.

Sure it is venting on my part to write this. After all it is true and for years I have not been able to tell the truth about the truth.

But then for years I have watched people come to church unhappy, sit unhappy and then leave unhappy… to go out into the world unhappy for the next week to tell everyone that they are the happiest people alive – they are Christians. That makes me laugh… truthfully… laugh out loud.

On a quasi-theological basis – I doubt that God will allow them into Heaven later… for two reasons…

1.) God doesn’t have a place for unhappy people,

2.) The shock they would experience in Heaven with being surrounded by happy people – would make them even more miserable – miserable because other people are too happy and making too much noise –laughing, clapping and simply enjoying themselves.

(There likely is a number 3 reason as well… God doesn’t have any paper in Heaven for them to write their complaints down…)

I have been attacking the Monster File… and I am winning. I am winning because now there is no regret, no anger, no longing or wishing it would have been different. I am free.

In actual fact I know now that “each person” was the reason I was in business.. the business of praying, caring, visiting, listening, and simply being there – no matter what they were like. Each upset and angry person was a “make work project”. I had a job because of them.

Think of it… a pastor would have little to do if everyone loved each other.

~ Murray Lincoln ~
http://www.murraylincoln.com/