In a recent story in our local newspaper it was reported that Nurses are often attacked by Seniors that they care for in the Senior Residences as well as Hospitals. Nurses are often the targets of this pent up anger – sometimes from many years back.
In the chart below you can see the records from recent studies.
In a local senior’s home I have spoken with Nurses and Nurse’s Aids that have had bruises from angry old Men and Women who have lashed out. Unhappy because their kids placed them in this place! Angry because of aging… and a body that is failing… And sometimes it is just because they don’t feel good…so they will make others feel bad as well.I can do nothing to stop it... neither can the nurses. How can anyone stop an angry old lady from striking you because she is mean? How can anyone stop an older man that should be revered from hitting the helper that the home has given him? Do you call in the police and lay charges? Do you toss them out of the senior’s home? Where would they go?
There is a group of hidden people that live in horror all the time. That is the adult child of an angry old person. They need support. They need comfort. Where do they turn to when it is all going bad?
It is a reality that few of us face. But we will face it as our parents grow older. Worse yet we will face it as we turn older and become them.
Again I say it is a thing that I have great apprehension about…growing old and angry.
In one setting locally I was working with a man attempting to help him with his wood carving. The man was so upset the day that I met with him. His issue was toast that was cold. Yep – you heard me right.
In life he had run huge corporations and given direction to thousands. Now as a Senior living in a very nice senior’s home – the IDIOT that made the toast was not doing his job right… the toast was cold… the coffee was horrible… and the service was just plain rotten. And right after he finished talking with me he was addressing his concerns to the management of the senior’s home. He was MAD!
I forgot to mention that he was a “regular church goer”… and proud of it. He was a REAL Christian.
What a magnificent reason to not attend his church!
Maybe if one Nurse reads this today and realizes that we are not all the same – us old guys. Maybe if they know that we will try to be better when we get there… it might help.
Maybe if adult children of miserable old people know that there are other adult children that struggled with the same fears… they might feel better after getting the report that Dad or Mom did it again.
Speaking with one Nurse that I know well she told me how she handles the abuse. Her method is direct. She says, “Now listen, what you are saying and what you are acting like is simply not acceptable. You have to help us here or you will be making it miserable for others and yourself. You must stop acting like this! It is not acceptable!!!”
Her sternness has worked magic. Some or most listen to what she says.
I write this to say I understand where most of us are now – as we care for older parents and have to visit them in the pleasant senior’s homes that they live in.
I have a sign passed to me by my father… “I want to live long enough to be a problem for my children.”
I think I will burn that sign soon… I don’t want to do that at all. I love them too much to be angry… or ornery… or a miserable old %&^$#^&*(&%!!!!
Hey I am going out today to make someone happy! How about you? Maybe if it becomes a habit to do that every day…. When old catches me… I will still be doing it.
~ Murray Lincoln ~
http://www.murraylincoln.com/
Sources:
Attacks on Nurses Common
http://www.thepeterboroughexaminer.com/ArticleDisplay.aspx?e=1526126
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