Chicken Rancher

“Thunder” is growing. Tomorrow he will be 3 weeks old! No kidding – we still have the chicken. Yep – I am a farmer now… well maybe a small acreage owner…or is that a half acre? – and we have livestock. All I need to do now is to get a farm trade show walking around kicking machinery tires – and I am an almost farmer…almost.

So I know my friends went kind of nuts when I bought the chicken for $10… I can live with it.

The lady at the “Rural Routes” – Farm Feed Store kind of gulped when she heard we adopted it for $10 – with the Chicken Rancher selling/adopting out – 27 chicks in an hour at the Farmer’s Market ($270 an hour). The lady kind of chocked and suppressed a grin when she told us we could have bought the chick from her for $1.30. But then she was now making $12.95 for the 50 pound bag of chick food with the medication added – so Thunder will grow stronger and stay healthy.

Something weird about this involvement with a chicken called Thunder. It cost us $10.00 for the initial adoption. Then we had to buy a plastic pen for him to sleep in with the tea towel over top…add to that a new feeder dish, a water dish, and some bedding that is put in the bottom for Thunder to be comfortable and clean…. Kaching $16.00. Now that is $26.00. Then the feed was almost $14.00. This now is a Prize Winning $40.00 Chicken – Rooster or Laying Hen – not sure yet.

With eggs selling for about $2.00 for 18 – I will need to keep this bird for 360 eggs worth to recoup my money. Providing of course that we have a laying bird… and not a rooster… Hokey Mokey!

Oh yes – and I should tell you that he is exercised each day… it is the humane thing to do… and Emma’s idea(my granddaughter). Out he goes to the front carpeted area and does some amazing stunts. The minute he hits the carpet he runs like mad in circles and flaps his wings – that grew out of no where in no time… then he reverses and runs madly the other way. You can almost see the dude smile! No kidding. I wonder if I have to pay a Chicken Psychologist down the road?

Yep – he poops on the carpet with his new found freedom from his solitary confinement…but it isn’t hard to clean up. Emma showed me how.

Alida sat with the bird in the front carpeted area. The crazy thing walked up her pant leg pecking at the creases…then hoped on to her arm… proceeded to walk up her arm to her shoulder eyeing her closely.

Yesterday was the ultimate chicken dance day… it was warm… we took it outside. WOW! IS THE WORLD EVER BIG!

There is something called “Imprinting” that takes place when a baby bird sees its new mother. Well it has happened. The livestock has moved up the “scale of rights” from farm animal to new pet.

Imprinting? Yep… the crazy chicken follows you everywhere you go. It is comical as all get out. It was busy pecking the grass, looked up as I walked away about 10 feet, then with the speed of an Olympic runner came after me until it was snug between my shoes. I walked again and it ran after me.

I think I will chuck the egg laying idea to recoup my money. This chicken can enter the “Chicken Olympics” and make me some real hard cold cash. That fist investment of $40.00 will come back in the first track meet.

Thunder will never be able to integrate with his other hatchlings. He knows too much of another world. He has a taste of “human stuff”, chirps loudly when I come into the room greeting me, and follows me everywhere. The thought of it being a she and being cramped up in a small enclosure popping out egg after egg… then when done… going to Swiss Chalet… is a little too much for me to handle…specially after he or she came running after me peeping loudly… “Don’t leave me behind daddy…. Don’t leave me… I am afraid of Hawks hanging around the back yard…never seen one before…but wide open spaces scare the feathers out of me… don’t leave me….!”

Oh didn’t I tell you… not only can I speak Chinese and a bit of Spanish, French on top of my English – I found a Web Site that instructed me about Chicken Talk. Yep – I can understand… the soft Peep – as compared to the loud Peep that sounds like “You are killing me! Let me down!!!!” as compared to "Peep Peep Peep – this food is so good and the water is clean… Peep Peep…”

Am I crazy or what? Nope – just a typical Zoomer with lots of time on my hands now… need a low impact hobby… and have found Chickens don’t expect as much as people.

The other Zoomers in my community have really strange things at their places. One dude loves motorcycles. His nice cars sit outside while his bikes sit inside.

Another guy I know has the most beautiful old car you can imagine – it is a 1928 something or other… chopped down… spruced up… revved up and super charged… new upholstery… and the lot… and it has cost a whole lot more than my Chicken. My $40 Bucks would not even buy one of his wheel nuts.

Another Zoomer that I know has a Hot Motorcycle for sale. The price is half of what he paid when he bought it those few years ago. When I heard that he was selling it I told him I had to check with my wife. When I asked her… she never answered but rather asked me if I could get the Chicken some fresh water….

Ah… Chickens are cheaper anyway… and a Motorcycle has yet to be developed to come when you whistle.

I gotta run… Thunder is chirping on the other side of the wall. I have some chores to do… I love being a Chicken Rancher.

ZOOOM….
~ Murray Lincoln ~
http://www.murraylincoln.com/