Professional Glass Tinkling

“No sooner do we start to talk to each other than they tinkle the glass to make us stop talking. It is frustrating!”

Mom had just revealed a strange kind of Senior conditioning and control. It happens at her Tuesday Morning Group at a senior’s program in Peterborough. I was blown away by what I heard and am not sure how I will ask questions about this one – if and when we have an invitation to an “Open House” – or a kind of Parent-Teacher interview (or would that be a Child-Teacher Interview?)

In the group there are about 15 people that come each Tuesday morning to enjoy the activation time together. Most, if not all, have come because of a doctor’s recommendation. After seeing the affects of isolation and the need for socialization they arrive to meet new friends and interact.

This is an absolutely brilliant idea in that many of the people that attend do not have friends or connections in the community. Their cohorts have passed on or are no longer able to actively communicate. Most still live in their own home or live with their children from what I can determine.

My mom has met some interesting new friends that have opened new connections for that friend and also for mom. The lady, Elizabeth, that has become her friend will call mom now and visa versa. Their friendship is growing with times together outside the group on Tuesday morning.

Back to the “tinkling”.

Most everyone knows that at a Wedding when someone starts the tinkling of glasses they want some reaction from the Bride and Groom – a kiss. When the glass is tinkled – people quiet and wait for response…

Most everyone also knows that in a public meeting the chair person may use a bell to get people’s attention and bring the meeting to order…

Most everyone has watched a Television show where a Judge has used a gavel to bring order and demand attention to what decorum should be…

It is with that in mind that the Volunteers that work with the Tuesday Morning Senior’s group bring about everyone’s attention – with the tinkling of a glass. “And if they(we) don’t stop talking, they beat the glass louder to get us to stop talking.”

Oddly enough Elizabeth for one will not stop talking to the one next to her. She talks louder when they tinkle. At 85+ she is not to be shut down. She has outlived the Russian invasion of her country, the brutality of invading soldiers, the raping and murder of her fellow citizens and the orders to not speak. And now a Volunteer thinks that she is going to be shut her down with louder tinkling!!! That is too funny.

Now why do they TINKLE anyway? Why is it so important?

Well it seems that the opening part of the program is the “reading of newspaper” for these “poor old people”. A kind of up dating of the world outside for these simple minded old people that they work with.

As mom described the scene that appears each time they begin the “reading of the newspaper” – it is more than comical. She said most of the people that sit there – close their eyes and tune out…perhaps even go to sleep. I am assuming that they simply tune out from the group.

Elizabeth talks louder to the one next to her… and the glass is tinkled louder.

The “students” are being taught that they should not speak when the “teacher” is speaking! They should be catching on now – program is more important than people. “For goodness sake don’t you hear the tinkling of this glass???!”

As Alida and I listened to mom tell her story of the glass tinkling we laughed at first. That happened when we heard that each time they “read from the newspaper” her classmates close their eyes. But when you hear the frustration in my mom’s voice about this silly competition between the “teacher” and the “student body” – there MUST BE a winner… and everyone knows that the “teacher” always wins. Except with Elizabeth… and maybe mom.

It is a soft form of abuse. “We have you in this room for the next four hours and you will do as we say and act the way that we want you to act. If you don’t come back for whatever reason – you will be replaced. That is how you got in here in the first place – some one quit or died. So you better listen… tinkle, tinkle, TINKLE, TINKLE!!!!!”

The issue of Handicraft production…
It is not limited to tinkling… it spills over to the craft sessions that happen from time to time.

At the Easter week’s group they made small flower basket arrangements to be taken home and enjoyed as a brightener – or a gift.

When mom brought hers out to the car on the way home I commented, “Is that what you made today?” “No” was the reply, “it is what the volunteer’s made.”

I questioned her… “You didn’t make one?” “Yes I did, but when I was done the volunteer came and took it all apart and made it completely different! So – NO I didn’t make it! They do that with all the crafts we do. We make it and they take it apart to remake it.”

I looked at her with disgust, “That is so unfair!” Where does the son of a frustrated senior go to tell it like it is? When is the next Child-Teacher Interview?

Do you get the picture? Lonely, live-alone seniors are sent to a group by loved ones and their doctors – to get some form of socialization, to talk with each other and to meet new friends. After they enter the program – they are being conditioned to be what the leadership wants them to be. It is not right!

But it is not new either. In church I have watched powerful leaders do the same to their seniors as well. When they want order – they tinkle in their own way. Program is more important than interaction. The people come early to talk with each other in the foyer – then with time running out they try to squeeze more words with each other as the leader – steps into his or her leadership role… “tinkling the bell” with their words…

I have been a bell tinkler – a glass tinkler – for years as the minister and leader of the service.

I made announcements to tell people when their own small group was going to meet… and in the coming small group – the head tinkler will be ready to shut down all conversation and interaction among the participants.

In fact I watched it happen so often in church and in the community that I have become a “Professional Tinkler” and was paid big bucks by people to shut down all interaction with my TINKLING while we worshiped God.

Yikes!

I am so sorry that I shut down the most powerful part of the possible last connection with each other…and for 35 years I was the best at making sure no one talked…by talking fast and louder. Double yikes… it has taken 65 years to figure that out.

Radical? Yes for the Tinklers it will be.

The ideal group interaction is where you come to together for a common cause or reason… then connect with each other.

I wonder if church attendance would increase if we took out the pews(the benches we sit on..) and talked to each other, listened to each other and spent time caring. Then after a half hour of interacting we could hear something read and explained for 15 minutes, then be allowed to interact with each other for another 45 minutes. And “glass tinkling” would not be allowed at all.

If I found a church like that I would join in a heart beat. Wouldn’t you?

But outside the building would be rows of morbid glass tinklers that would wag their fingers in disgust… too funny… we could leave by a different door.

Now how can I get through to the people in mom’s group… sheesh!???!

~ Murray Lincoln ~
http://www.murraylincoln.com/