Doug Made A Difference

The Online Obituary reads…
JOLICOEUR, Douglas 'Doug' - Suddenly at St. Michael's Hospital, Toronto on Friday, May 15, 2009 at the age of 45 years. Loved and missed by his son Doug Jr. (Barb), grandchildren Rene, Erica and Drayden and by his siblings Cliff, Paul, Ray, Bev, Karen and their families. Also remembered by his many nieces and nephews. Predeceased by parents Eugene and Florence and by brothers Maurice, John and Marcel. A funeral service will be held at THE HENDREN FUNERAL HOMES, NORWOOD CHAPEL on Tuesday, June 2, 2009 at 2:00 P.M. with visitation to commence at 12:30 P.M. Cremation. As expressions of sympathy, memorial donations may be made to the Heart and Stroke Foundation. Friends may send condolences, or make donations at www.hendrenfuneralhome.com or by calling 639-5322.
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Doug was a friend of mine. We met when I lived in Scarborough and was serving as a Pastor at the old Scarboro Gospel Temple (Now known as Global Kingdom Ministries).

We had a wonderful group for couples that met together each Sunday AM during the second church service. Our meeting was over coffee and goodies of all kinds. It was during that time and in that group that Doug and Brenda joined into the fellowship. They loved it.

Doug had been in trouble with the Law over the years, in and out of jail. Part of my work of sitting in court rooms and supporting struggling families fit into their lives at the time. Simply stated without details – I supported Doug and helped to get them back on their feet at the time.

Doug was the first guy to open up his world to me and show me what a man coming from incarceration faces on a daily basis. I spent a lot of time with him listening to the deep fears as well as the hopes & dreams that he had.

Our first session together was through Doug’s offer to shingle the house we lived in. Doug was desperate for work. The house was owned by the church and the shingles had been neglected over the years. Doug suggested that if I helped him – it would be done reasonably. So together we became partners on this job.

Up on the roof we first stripped the shingles preparing the roof for the new layer that would be applied. All the while that worked on the roof we talked. We came to know each other very well. Two men alone with no one to interrupt was a formula for success.

Doug had no money to begin this job. Normally he would buy the shingles and other roofing materials that he needed for the job with cash – and then in the billing he did the customer would cover his costs making enough money to support himself and move on to the next house that he would do.

Roofing supply companies didn’t care if you had a jail record. Nor did they care if you were cash strapped. All they needed was the cash for the product that they sold.

The customer that needed their roof redone didn’t care what your background was – whether you were a lawyer, a pastor or a jail bird. They needed a roofing job, wanted it done for as little as possible, as quick as possible and the result being better than good.

This first roof, ours, was Doug’s “start again” moment. The resources that he needed for the next job were supplied through the church paying him for the work that he did for us.

A roofer needs to employ workers. It is very hard to get a job done quickly without able and willing hands to help. Doug couldn’t afford to pay anyone on this first job. So I became the unpaid labourer. I volunteered for the price of teaching me how to do roofing.

When we completed the roof on the church house Doug had already lined up another roof that needed to be done. The new customer had walked near by our church house and stopped to ask how much Doug charged. Doug went to look at his home and a deal was cut.

At the next job I helped a little more. But the difficult part of the work of getting the shingles to the roof was done by a young guy that Doug found. This young fellow needed work as well and had helped on other roofing jobs. Doug now had enough money to pay him.

The money from the second job then provided more resources and more money to buy more tools. Before long Doug was working steadily each day with a few more men working for him. He was off and running. I dropped by from time to time with the coffee.

When Doug and Brenda first came into the young couples group held on the Sunday morning – they looked like they were down trodden. Tired, rung out, not trusting – bruised by the world around them.

As the months went by the radiance started to show more each week. After four months they were not the same couple that had arrived earlier. It is amazing what a little hope will do for a man that has been broken. It is totally amazing what happens to his family when they see dad in better shape than he has ever been.

As a side line – the couples in the class came from all kinds of backgrounds. One couple that was just plain fun offered an interesting mix to the group. Chris was a Metro Policeman serving in a downtown area and dealing with a lot of men that were heading for prison or had just got out.

The morning that Chris met Doug was amazing. After I told each one what the other was coming from – Chris extended his hand to shake Doug’s. Doug carefully put his hand out to him and said, “I have never had a cop shake my hand. They are usually putting handcuffs on me…”

Chris responded, “I am here to help you just like Murray is here to help me.” Doug’s response was interesting to say the least.

In 1991 I moved to Yorkton, Saskatchewan to take up my work as a Pastor. Doug went on with his life – I with mine.

Over the years I lost track of this couple.

The last contact was yesterday as I spoke with a family member. Doug had passed away alone in a Toronto hospital. From the little I heard he struggled. It was kind of a tragic end to a difficult life lived.

But something good did come out of Doug’s life. He allowed me into his life and all the struggles that he had – and left a deep impression on me. His allowing me to help him do that first roof together was a key. I realized that if a man coming from prison would be offered the right kind of help at the right time – he might be able to pull himself out of the “no hope rut” that he had lived in for so long.

Meeting Doug was a turning point in my community based help of men coming from prison. Doug had a part in re-forming my thinking of helping men from prison – and with that task completed, Doug did a great service to many, many others that I would meet.

I was not able to attend the memorial. I deeply regret that. So I write this tribute to a friend.

“Good bye... my friend. Your life touched mine and many other men coming from Prison. Your life made a difference in one small way. Thank you Doug.”

~ Murray Lincoln ~
http://www.murraylincoln.com/