The thief is not all that bright. A few days ago he opened a truck door and snatched a gold coloured vase. This particular Vase also had a lid.When Mr. Thief opened the lid all he found was a few pounds of gray coloured ashes mixed with small white coloured pellets. Some one likened it to gray Aquarium Gravel. He actually would be starring at a “Mr. Wightman” in his final stage from this world.
Mr. Wightman was waiting for his son to take him to the Dominican Republic for his final holiday. His final resting place was likely going to be one of his favorite spots on a beach. That is my guess at least.
I feel for Bill Wightman his son. When he came out to his truck that fateful day last week to find his father gone – he was likely beside himself.
The news piece that I read stated…
"A dying man's last wish may not be granted following a heartless theft.
Bill Wightman was preparing to head to the Dominican Republic to spread his father's ashes when the urn they were contained in was stolen from his vehicle in St. Catharines.
Luckily, Wightman has a security video mounted outside his home, and caught the theft on tape, but he's still not sure he'll ever get to fulfill his dad's dying wish.
"There are two cameras outside...He's in the vehicle for three minutes which I would think is a long time, but he's pretty comfortable while he's doing it," he said while watching video of the crime in progress.
The crook also took his G.P.S., and several CDs, but it's the urn that he's concerned about.
"He had asked if I could spread some ashes for him in the Dominican so I actually went to get the urn because we're leaving for the Dominican next week and that's the reason it was in the truck, and it just so happens that was the night the truck got broken into."
Now he's hoping the person responsible will show some heart and return his father's ashes.
"In all honesty I don't know if I will get it back but I hope I do. I would think if somebody's watching this, the guy who took it, he can drop it anywhere. I don't care if he's caught I just want the urn back."
The suspect is described as: White, Between 40 to 50 years of age, 6 feet tall, 170 pounds, has a mustache and was wearing a baseball hat, black gloves, jeans and darks shoes..."
Bill Wightman was preparing to head to the Dominican Republic to spread his father's ashes when the urn they were contained in was stolen from his vehicle in St. Catharines.
Luckily, Wightman has a security video mounted outside his home, and caught the theft on tape, but he's still not sure he'll ever get to fulfill his dad's dying wish.
"There are two cameras outside...He's in the vehicle for three minutes which I would think is a long time, but he's pretty comfortable while he's doing it," he said while watching video of the crime in progress.
The crook also took his G.P.S., and several CDs, but it's the urn that he's concerned about.
"He had asked if I could spread some ashes for him in the Dominican so I actually went to get the urn because we're leaving for the Dominican next week and that's the reason it was in the truck, and it just so happens that was the night the truck got broken into."
Now he's hoping the person responsible will show some heart and return his father's ashes.
"In all honesty I don't know if I will get it back but I hope I do. I would think if somebody's watching this, the guy who took it, he can drop it anywhere. I don't care if he's caught I just want the urn back."
The suspect is described as: White, Between 40 to 50 years of age, 6 feet tall, 170 pounds, has a mustache and was wearing a baseball hat, black gloves, jeans and darks shoes..."
Now this story has triggered some thoughts in my mind. These thoughts are growing with an impact on my thinking.
So what is the deal? Can we distribute someone’s ashes based on their simple request? Is it legal? And where can it be done or cannot be done?
I found scant info on the Web Search that I did… one quote is here… from Oregon…
“Of course, if specific legal restrictions are to be avoided in the future, common sense must be applied, now. For instance, while it may be OK to scatter cremated remains on your own private property, it would not be a good idea to scatter them on your neighbor’s property without permission. And, though it may be OK to scatter cremated remains at the beach, it would not be a good idea to do so at a crowded beach on a windy day. Similarly, though it may be OK to scatter cremated remains quietly in a national forest, it would not be a good idea to erect a permanent monument commemorating the spot.”
There appears to be no definite laws in place to restrict a family from scattering anywhere they would desire – Canada or USA.
But there is a “Moral Issue” here that needs to be looked at. I think we need to look closer at what is actually happening.
First we are taking care of the remains of a loved one. What we do with them expresses to us our love for the one departed. It has little to do with what the person that has departed thinks or wants. They will not know any different. They are gone.
Second… It has all to do with us… and how we feel... and if we feel. It also has something to do with the generations that will follow. Where is the respect and concern for life? It is somewhat rooted/connected in death I believe. There will be no permanent earth record of where the person was all about.
There is something about a memorial spot that indicates the life that was lived. It is a focus point that brings our attention to the one that is departed. That focus is good for our own being.
Much more is mulling there in my thoughts. I need more time to deal with it.
I personally need a place where I can come and reflect. Now my backyard is wonderful for scattering my wife’s ashes (hypothetically that is). I can come out in that back yard that she loved so much and think of her often. She loved the yard so much.
BUT if I sell the house, I cannot pick up the ashes. She stays there. And the new folk might not like me wondering back into the yard again in years to come – let alone have the freaky feeling that she is there. And when our grandkids bring their kids to see the beautiful back yard – the second and third owners might not understand.
Worse yet if the future people don’t take care of the beautiful back yard – I will not be happy – nor will my wife!!!!!
Now suppose that Mr. Wightman is laid to rest on a beautiful beach in Dominican Republic. In a year or so when the new waterfront property is developed – Mr. Wightman may well be resting under the foundations or a new hotel. The original view will be changed.
Personal…
This factor came into our family when my Mother-in-law decided to scatter her second husband’s ashes in their favorite spot down by the Lake. In their better times of relationship the two of them had enjoyed feeding the geese on that spot… you know sunsets… warm weather… and beautiful, graceful Canadian Geese…
So when my wife told me that she had accompanied her mom to scatter the ashes and then told me where… I was a more than a little amazed. There among the goose droppings lay her husband. He was covering a good portion of the lawn.
Coming from a rural setting I know one thing for sure. Geese, like other fowl, pick up small stones and particles to aid their digestion. Soooooo… the likelihood of my mother-in-law’s second husband dwelling inside a Canadian Goose is very high.
In the following years as we returned to that same lakeside – they had redeveloped the whole area. The new gardens are in front of the large Arts Centre probably covering the man named “Marshall”.
Now to be honest here… my mother-in-law’s last years with Marshall were nothing less than a nightmare. Her role was to stay alive – longer than him. It was not good to say the least.
Soooo… maybe ending it all as Goose Droppings is kind of appropriate. But Marshall had a son and some grandkids… where will they remember him?
The world has changed big time. Death now means an inconvenient pause in our life schedules – when someone we know loses someone we don’t know. Worse yet eventually after taking part in a few of these kinds of events – we then lose someone and it is our pause time.
The care is gone. The time of reflection is shortened and almost non existent. What has happened to our species? And worse yet – I can do little about it…
Bill Wightman, as much as I feel bad for you and definitely see your loss as more than tragic… I have no answers. The man that took the Urn – likely stored the junk that he stole from your truck in it. Urns at Hock Shops are a not a big seller. The total story is one that makes me think – a whole lot of disrespect happening here… Yikes!
~ Murray Lincoln ~
Sources to Consider…
http://www.funerals-usa.com/oregon/2008/07/oregon-scattering-of-human-remains/
http://www.funerals.org/frequently-asked-questions/cremation/376-scatterbrained
http://www.fluther.com/disc/5783/why-is-it-illegal-to-scatter-cremated-remains/
So what is the deal? Can we distribute someone’s ashes based on their simple request? Is it legal? And where can it be done or cannot be done?
I found scant info on the Web Search that I did… one quote is here… from Oregon…
“Of course, if specific legal restrictions are to be avoided in the future, common sense must be applied, now. For instance, while it may be OK to scatter cremated remains on your own private property, it would not be a good idea to scatter them on your neighbor’s property without permission. And, though it may be OK to scatter cremated remains at the beach, it would not be a good idea to do so at a crowded beach on a windy day. Similarly, though it may be OK to scatter cremated remains quietly in a national forest, it would not be a good idea to erect a permanent monument commemorating the spot.”
There appears to be no definite laws in place to restrict a family from scattering anywhere they would desire – Canada or USA.
But there is a “Moral Issue” here that needs to be looked at. I think we need to look closer at what is actually happening.
First we are taking care of the remains of a loved one. What we do with them expresses to us our love for the one departed. It has little to do with what the person that has departed thinks or wants. They will not know any different. They are gone.
Second… It has all to do with us… and how we feel... and if we feel. It also has something to do with the generations that will follow. Where is the respect and concern for life? It is somewhat rooted/connected in death I believe. There will be no permanent earth record of where the person was all about.
There is something about a memorial spot that indicates the life that was lived. It is a focus point that brings our attention to the one that is departed. That focus is good for our own being.
Much more is mulling there in my thoughts. I need more time to deal with it.
I personally need a place where I can come and reflect. Now my backyard is wonderful for scattering my wife’s ashes (hypothetically that is). I can come out in that back yard that she loved so much and think of her often. She loved the yard so much.
BUT if I sell the house, I cannot pick up the ashes. She stays there. And the new folk might not like me wondering back into the yard again in years to come – let alone have the freaky feeling that she is there. And when our grandkids bring their kids to see the beautiful back yard – the second and third owners might not understand.
Worse yet if the future people don’t take care of the beautiful back yard – I will not be happy – nor will my wife!!!!!
Now suppose that Mr. Wightman is laid to rest on a beautiful beach in Dominican Republic. In a year or so when the new waterfront property is developed – Mr. Wightman may well be resting under the foundations or a new hotel. The original view will be changed.
Personal…
This factor came into our family when my Mother-in-law decided to scatter her second husband’s ashes in their favorite spot down by the Lake. In their better times of relationship the two of them had enjoyed feeding the geese on that spot… you know sunsets… warm weather… and beautiful, graceful Canadian Geese…
So when my wife told me that she had accompanied her mom to scatter the ashes and then told me where… I was a more than a little amazed. There among the goose droppings lay her husband. He was covering a good portion of the lawn.
Coming from a rural setting I know one thing for sure. Geese, like other fowl, pick up small stones and particles to aid their digestion. Soooooo… the likelihood of my mother-in-law’s second husband dwelling inside a Canadian Goose is very high.
In the following years as we returned to that same lakeside – they had redeveloped the whole area. The new gardens are in front of the large Arts Centre probably covering the man named “Marshall”.
Now to be honest here… my mother-in-law’s last years with Marshall were nothing less than a nightmare. Her role was to stay alive – longer than him. It was not good to say the least.
Soooo… maybe ending it all as Goose Droppings is kind of appropriate. But Marshall had a son and some grandkids… where will they remember him?
The world has changed big time. Death now means an inconvenient pause in our life schedules – when someone we know loses someone we don’t know. Worse yet eventually after taking part in a few of these kinds of events – we then lose someone and it is our pause time.
The care is gone. The time of reflection is shortened and almost non existent. What has happened to our species? And worse yet – I can do little about it…
Bill Wightman, as much as I feel bad for you and definitely see your loss as more than tragic… I have no answers. The man that took the Urn – likely stored the junk that he stole from your truck in it. Urns at Hock Shops are a not a big seller. The total story is one that makes me think – a whole lot of disrespect happening here… Yikes!
~ Murray Lincoln ~
Sources to Consider…
http://www.funerals-usa.com/oregon/2008/07/oregon-scattering-of-human-remains/
http://www.funerals.org/frequently-asked-questions/cremation/376-scatterbrained
http://www.fluther.com/disc/5783/why-is-it-illegal-to-scatter-cremated-remains/
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