Not Everyone was Happy at Christmastime

In the midst of our recovery from the hilarity of the day before the door bell rang. It was Boxing Day. I could see the hovering form pressed to the side of the door waiting for some one to respond. I opened the door to see who was calling.

The man was snow covered and cold. He peeled off his sun glasses and then his hat. Under the covering was an individual that has caused no end of grief for many people. Now he stood inside our home’s entrance.

He has been in our home a number of times. But after his last visit he did some more terrible things and then turned even more angry against myself and others around him. We are pretty sure that it is the results of more drug use – both prescription and street drugs. And there is nothing anyone can do.

Death is an option I was told as he stood inside of our front entrance. I was told that he had walked all the way across the city because there was no bus service on that day. But – it is the same as times before I can believe nothing that he says in that he is an absolute liar in everything that he says. The drug addiction transforms the best of men into moral monsters in order to survive.

Not everyone was happy at Christmastime this year.

Not far from where we live is a quiet home. A new baby arrived over Christmas. But not everything is good. The new mother has fled the home with her baby… heading back to another apartment. Before she left she hurt her baby – jerking him roughly as he continued to cry. The sobbing grandmother poured out her story of agony.

I didn’t see it so I cannot report it. It could be hearsay only and to intervene would make people even more angry and bitter. The tears flow as the grandmother shared he deep pain.

This is the second set of two that have dropped by or called to let me know that they are in deep trouble.

My “pastoral heart” broke as I listened to the stories of pain. One year ago as the Pastor of Northview I would have gone into hyper-pastor mode and found a solution to the problem. I had the resources and the ability to help. This year I have referred them to call someone else for help. I am not sure what has happened in my referring.

Not everyone is happy at Christmastime.

You see as a non-pastor I am in an insecure place. I have no longer the protection of the church leadership. I am a loner. I am not in a secure place with insurance and the protecting power of people standing with you in legal battles.

Simply put… when the dude that has comes calling at my home on Boxing Day decides to commit suicide because of my bad counseling services at my front door – some one could lay a law suit that could take the rest of my nothing.

I have walked for two days with a sad cloud hovering over my head. I can do nothing to help these hurting people. I can only pray.

Is prayer enough? Does God hear what I say? Is this lonely feeling something of a seasonal affect disorder? Yep. It is probably all mixed together in a mash of old human feelings that are just plain impossible to deal with.

For 39 years of pastoral ministry I have prayed and spent time with God. Yesterday again I was alone with God. So simple… so easy… that quiet time with him. Just being away and alone was so important.

Then the telephone rang again. It was a horrible and miserable man that I had tried hard to help for the past few years. He was calling to let me know that he was wishing us a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. He reported on how he was doing and it seems much better. He is happy and thankful for all that I had done for him in these past years.

Not all bad…
One week ago I met a very sharp looking young adult. He grabbed my hand and pumped it hard with his greeting. He beamed from ear to ear.

“Do you remember me?” he asked earnestly. “My name is Lee. You talked to me seven years ago and tried to help. I took your advice and stopped drinking. I am dry now and have been for five years. Thanks to you and others… I am doing very well. I own my business and have been blessed in so many ways. Thank you Pastor Murray! Thank You!”

I gulped and thanked him for his kind words. He was a trophy of God’s Grace. Thank you so much.

I am sorting through great big emotional waves in these quiet times as I discover the new role God has given me.

This morning early as I opened the pages to direct my prayer for my leaders in the Provincial Government there was John O’Toole, MPP for the Durham Region. I have not yet met John… but I prayed for him by name. I haven’t yet met Marilyn Pearce, the Mayor of Town of Port Perry… but I have prayed for her. And I believe that God heard me.

This is the last Sunday of 2008. A very reflective time for people like me – that have spent so many Sundays in church – every year and then look back on what has happened – over and over again.

Nor everyone is happy at Christmastime… but I am committed to help the ones that I can. And at this time it is simply to pray.

And if you can – would you pray with me? There is Jen, there is Rich, there is Paul, there is Lee, there are so many…

~ Murray Lincoln ~
http://prayforleaderstoday.blogspot.com/
www.murraylincoln.com