I Need New Friends

Over the past 20 days I have been meeting many new people. It is amazing the ones that have come into my life. Good people with many stories to share. It has been amazing to say the least. They come from all walks of life and carry many different life experiences.

Yesterday I sat with a local artist and met hundreds of his friends. There isn’t anyone that George Elliott doesn’t know. As the different folk walked by he knew almost all of them. And he loves them all… jokes with them… has a story to tell each one… and ask about how their kids are doing… or where they are living now. Now many of them are my friends too – because George introduced me.

There is something about NEW friends that is so stimulating and so encouraging. They know nothing of what you have gone through. Depending how much they want to tell you – you may not know much. Yet in a very short period of time they may tell you everything.

Verna came into my life yesterday. She was sitting in a wheel chair having just had surgery on her leg to repair great damages that were caused by a automobile accident not long ago. Her car quit on the side of the road in Oakville. When she got out of her own vehicle another vehicle hit her and knocked her through the air for a long, long way. Verna also trained and served as a minister for a number or years. Yesterday I met and came to know Verna well. At the end we agreed to pray for each other.

I met Ross also. Through Ross I met three others so far. Ross attends church regularly and is also a carver. We will be meeting regularly to carve with each other over the next weeks. He is carving something for his daughter that is getting married in New Zealand in February. Ross and I are looking forward to a new and already growing friendship.

Then there was George – a very tall senior that lives at Royal Gardens. He came down to see what was going on. I noticed him walking around looking casually at the other craft sale booths…but when he came to mine he stopped and talked for a long time. He left and came back two more times – each time bringing a carving from his suite to show me. He also is a wood carver and loves talking about it. They sold all his tools as he moved into the Royal Gardens and he is frustrated to say the least.

Then I met Christina and her daughter. They know Ross and his family well. She is VERY Creative. If all goes well we may be able to go over to see her “studio” located at her home. She vibrates with ideas and enthusiasm. I have been stirred by her zeal. On top of that she designed a Tim Horton’s coffee cup warmer – so cool… one for small and then one for each up to the extra large cups. It kind of looks like a sleeve… such a good idea.

Then I met another Murray. He may be reading this now. First we met in a Church service in Windsor. We have now much more in common after we started to talk through the computer. This could be one of my newest and most meaningful friendships in a long time.

Then I met Kamal who lives in Nepal. And his friends are, Bhojraj, Shobha, Chet, Peter, Sandra and Pragyan. I had met Peter first and through Peter I met Pragyan – who is like George Elliott – he knows everybody. All but Peter and Sandra live in Nepal. I talk with them fairly regularly through the computer connection. So cool.

When I read what Dina Mehta wrote yesterday and then followed more and more of her links from her websites… I was blown away as she and others talked about social networking and their worlds.

I came to “know” Dina because of following a story about the 11-26 terrorist attacks in Mumbai. Now I follow Dina like a friend.

The Problem…
As a pastor of large churches and some smaller churches I knew few new people while planted in that situation. I knew some of the people that I ministered to each week – but for the most part people knew me – or knew all about me with me never knowing them.

After long weeks in the church work as a Pastor I would meet few new people unless there was a crisis of some sort. But then the meeting was always pretty much revolving around the crisis situation.

This past few weeks has been a time of new friendship with no particular ties or problem situations. Even some of the problem situation friends have transitioned for me to true friends that I can count on – deeply.

The problem…? Well as I watch my Senior Friends around me – they want no more friends than they already have – thank you very much. In fact as I form a theory on this one with a huge amount of empirical evidence… they don’t make any new friends at all. The ones they have are enough.

The problem… and solution… I have decided to not become a senior. I don’t want to be stuck in a place where I have no new friends – or meet no new friends.

But then again I may not have to be a senior to have that happen – as a pastor for many years – I saw that happen to my “ministerial friends” – many had no new friends at all… just too tired or too alone to make any I guess.

The story is all about Social Networking – connecting to people way outside my world… and then trying to find how the threads in their lives can fit as part of my life.

Reading Dina Mehta’s blogging(see yesterday’s post for addresses) helped me see something new as well. Immediately after the terrorist attacks and even as some of it was still going down she was calling for the social networking friends to get together at a restaurant in the area. They actually met in person from what I read about these folks.

Now in order to see what value that has you need to think of India and its dense population, add to that a defined caste system and major cultural barriers – it is really something what Dina and her friends are accomplishing.

My hat is off to Dina today.

In starting up my new woodcarving business – I have sold many things to people that I know… and very few to people that I don’t. My social network is a wonderful to say the least.

Now…
Should I lose my own world pieces with the loss that comes my way… my present social network will begin to shrink. If I lose my wife through death or the fact that she simply says… “I am outta here!” Then I lose my tools and ability to use them… and lose my workshop… then lose my friends because of death… The social network that I relied on disappears. And it has been so long since I met anyone new… that I forgot how to meet new people… I am done for and may as well die.

That is why I say I really don’t want to be a Senior! But I could be a senior and still be 50+ years old – or even 30 or 40… yikes!

Stupid decisions make that happen as well. I watched a couple the other day in the coffee shop. They have left groups all over the place because they are unhappy with “that group”. I know that they have done this over and over again. Now they sit alone in an alone coffee shop… not even talking to each either. God that is so sad…!

I have come to realize that in a powerful way – I need NEW FRIENDS(and my old ones too). What a liberating thought that has become.

How about you?

~ Murray Lincoln ~

Please Note
Up Date on Mumbia India – and the Taj Majal Hotel disaster
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,459245,00.html
Dina Mehta
http://dinamehta.com/