Missing Children and Heart Ache

The short update this AM from The Canadian Press states that someone had spotted the missing teenager, Brandon Crisp, heading away from Barrie – maybe towards Orillia, Ontario. This sighting has placed him further away from the places that have been searched.

Who is Brandon Crisp? He is a 15 year old that fought with his parents over the use of his computer. He is a teenager that spends a lot of time “gaming” online. Much has been written about the potential of addiction to computer games (I have written about it as well). Brandon however wouldn’t see it that way… to him it was good clean fun… he wasn’t taking drugs or anything… only playing computer games.

Whatever the argument is or the reason behind it all – Brandon Crisp is gone. He is either in hiding or something terrible has happened to him. Was it an accident that he drowned? Or was it that he succumbed to the cold nights when he tried to hide away somewhere…or worse yet someone helped him to escape from the rules his home had… and maybe… worse yet.

The police see kids and families in trouble all the time. Kids running away are not unusual. And staying away for a long time is not unusual either.

In our community we know an elderly lady that had a son that was living in another part of Canada altogether and will never come home to see his ailing mother. For him – she is already dead. She died the day that he walked out angry and vowed to never return again. This is a good church lady filled with the Love of God… but an old biddy that her son could not live with.

When you hear the report from the outside… you never know what has happened inside the home. It is only when the “Brandon Crisp” kid disappears that we get a hint how bad it was.

But there is another hidden tragedy taking place in Canada and the USA. It is not known because of the shame that is involved. Good Kids are leaving their Good Parents and never being seen again. There is a Religious Cult that takes kids away from their parents… and does it so well that they never see them again. Imagine a church that kidnaps youth – or even adults!?

The first one that I heard of was a family that we know very well. Their daughter Kathy attended the Eastern Pentecostal Bible College in Peterborough. My wife and I “sent” her off from our youth group. She then attended college and became a Nurse as well. She met kind of an odd young man that was attending our church. He was very committed to all that he did – a deeper commitment than others place into their spirituality.

We moved away. It was later that we heard that this young man had kidnapped Kathy after they were married and they had disappeared completely from the face of the earth. He would not allow his wife to ever talk to her family again. His religious views and his understanding of what the Bible says – made that ruling.

Kathy’s parents are our close friends. They now have grandchildren somewhere that they have never met. They have not seen Kathy for over 20 years!

On the side… at a wedding that we attended a while back…Kathy’s husband was the Best Man. He saw us and was very friendly. He had a cell phone and in a few weak moments let us speak to Kathy LIVE from the wedding reception hall. We called our friends later to tell them we had talked to Kathy. It was the first news they had received for over 10 years.

Another friend of mine that is a minister as well has two kids. Their oldest is their daughter named Jen. Everything was excellent in their family. They loved those kids like you cannot believe. But when Jen began dating the young man… no one knew who he was – or what would happen. Again like Kathy – she was married to this first date… and then was taken from her family to totally disappear from any family connections at all.

From what they have heard their daughter is close with her mother-in-law but is not allowed to have anything to do with her own parents.

How can this horror happen to good people? Brandon Crisp’s parents don’t deserve this kind of thing… neither does Kathy and Jen’s parents!

Moreover – what can be done to make sure it doesn’t happen to our families?

With the pressure cooker world of more work, less time, tired bodies and totally insane connections with our kids – we set ourselves up for a failure. We are so involved being and doing what our work places demand of us… that our precious treasures can be stolen.
In all three cases that I have pointed to the parents are likely rethinking what they should have done differently. What if we got a step up on that kind of situation and avoided it by being available to the family.

Last Sunday AM I missed church. I felt a little bit of guilt but that passed after a half hour of watching the action on the field in front of me.

We were invited as special guests to attend the parent and kids football game on Sunday AM at 10:30.

As grandparents of two great kids we watched as they laughed and squealed with delight – parents interacting with kids and each other. It was a sight to behold. It is also a world that I knew little of as I was in church every morning of every Sunday for so many years.

No… they didn’t get any Bible teaching – but they connected. The kids were all away from their computer games for at least the morning. And the parents were running and puffing and getting much needed stress relief. And in more than one situation the dad were tussling with their kids as they played… was that ever neat to see!

I can say that I was so glad to be there and cheer from the sideline.

Now my “church attending friends” that read this will wonder at my sanity and spirituality at these actions… sorry if that bothers you… I apologize… BUT God was there sitting with me smiling at what he saw in front of him. I grinned at him as well.

I know… I know… he was in church with you too. That is good.

With this post I am reminded how important family is… and how much I must do – even as a Grandfather – to make sure that these kids know that we care.

Now can I ask you to go hug a grandkid or YOUR KID and make a difference today? And if you can remember, pray for Brandon Crisp, Kathy and Jen – and their parents. They certainly need your support today.

~ Murray Lincoln ~