Friday, September 4, 2009

LIKE 35 times in 60 Seconds

This setting/happening takes place on the Bathurst Street Car – heading south to the CNE from the Bathurst Subway station.

My wife and I are sitting on a seat half down the Street Car. Right behind us are two young people – a guy and a girl. They are likely about 14 or 15 years of age. My guess is - this is a big date and they are going to the CNE together. I am naming them “Eddie” and “Kyla”.

Now you have to turn on your sound system in your head. You also must know that people don’t generally speak to each other on the subway or Street Car or Bus – other than in hushed tones – so others can’t hear what they say.

Well at the moment that Alida and I sat on that Tram we were not alone. Kyla invited us into their conversation by talking 90 miles per hour – right behind us. Eddie listened a lot – not saying more than two words – and these were questions to let her know that he was still alive – I think. Man could this girl talk! And could she ever tell stories.

Here we go… a sample only… remembering that this Tram ride was about a half hour in length…

“…like I go – ‘You gotta be kidding…she goes… NO…like its for real…like I care… NO really… she goes…. I like freaked and like nearly died when she said that… like too weird… like it was the end of the freaking world… like no kidding… Then she goes… do you always wear that outfit…? Like where did that come from – I go – NO… I am not like a freakin fashion model… like what is she thinking… like I know what I should wear and like this is one dumb B****… like I mean dumb…she goes – Well don’t get offended – like it was what you wore last time we were here… LIKE I CARE… she goes… like don’t get all offended – like I didn’t mean anything by it… like I go… you did offend me… like you can hurt a person’s feelings by going like that…”

Like… if you can count… Kyla used the word LIKE 20 times in that kind of one long – like a sentence or something – like I mean WOW!

In fact it impressed me so much so that I put up my watch and counted her “LIKE” usage in like – 60 seconds… and no kidding – like she used that cotton pickin word 35 times in one 60 second period!!!! Like WOW! Like can you imagine what this was like – in like 60 second times 30 minutes of Street Car riding… she like used the word like – 1050 times…! And like it may be more than that because they came so fast that I couldn’t count them. Like Hokey Mokey… like wow.. I have never heard something so freakin weird in my life!!!

The Street Car stopped at the CNE grounds and we all walked off. There just in front of us walked Eddie and Kyla holding hands. They are at least 50 years younger than my wife and I. We were holding hands too.

And the best part was Kyla wasn’t talking anymore. Complete silence. Too funny. Eddie walked on with his school back pack on – hat turned slightly to the side and wearing his best low riding long shorts that made his legs look like they were two feet long. She in her tight top with budding breasts and the bouncing hair hung on to his hand tightly – in case she like gets lost at the big fair.

I am not sure how I felt for the next half hour as the word “like” spun around my head. I don’t know it will – like affect me or something… like I don’t know…

The school system is constantly testing our kids for their Math and Language Arts ability getting them ready for the future.

Actually it is pretty funny… fast forward 40 years from now… and Kyla will be talking to Eddie as they sit waiting for their grandkids to come over. Eddie won’t be saying a word… Kyla will be talking, talking, talking… like a million words a minute.

But then… they may be sitting on a Street Car at that time listening to a young behind them…giggling and talking 90 miles an hour… and like they will understand every freakin thing the young couple said.

Like that is just too funny!

~ Murray Lincoln ~
www.murraylincoln.com/

Source:
http://www.helium.com/items/526527-the-most-misused-word-in-the-english-language

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