My New OLD BOLD STATUS – The Most Powerful Man in Canada

This is to serve Notice to the world that is around me… OFFICIALLY I am the most powerful person in my world – ever. The power is now conveyed or instilled in me – or is it on me? Whatever… I am all powerful! The Government of Canada has conferred on me a status like no other.

I am now officially a “Pensioner”. I have arrived and I can honestly say the power flowing/surging through my blood veins this day is like none other that I have ever known. I AM OLD!

And because there are some doubters in the audience I have brought with me proof. In this Blog I will show you how much power I have. Today as I am out and about I fully intend to flash my new power. I know that every one will be impressed.

So here is my solid proof…
First I have THE CARD to prove it… as you can see below. There emblazoned on the front is beautiful photo of our Canadian Parliament Buildings – shot from the Quebec side of the Ottawa River. It is a night shot with the lights turned on. Symbolic I am sure in that I am now in the closing/twilight/nighttime of my life. OLD.
MY NAME is imprinted in Capital Gold Letters… not some one else’s name – BUT MY NAME!

Turning over the card is the “Fine Print” as you can see below… the words read…
“The holder of this card receives a benefit under the Old Age Security Act. The Government of Canada asks that you extend all possible privileges to the cardholder.”

Did you get that… I am to be given “all possible privileges”… or in other words “whatever I want” – whenever I show the card! You gotta know that I have the power with this Fine Print.

There are some other fine print stuff that is important and gives a bit more clarification… one of which is the bold statement below that says…
“This card remains the property of the Government of Canada and may be cancelled or recalled.”

I am equivalent to an undercover operative for the Canada Government in my mind. It is so important what I do – and the card is so powerful for opening opportunity that is retained as a highly secretive tool to be used whenever I am required to use my OLD BOLD STATUS…

Now I am sure that there are some scoffers in the audience. They doubt that this card is what it claims to be or do. I knew there would be – so I have started a list of all that I can do with this new OLD BOLD STATUS.

* - I expect discounts everywhere. The card has the power and I am endowed with that Power – Honor me!
* - I expect when I go to church(or anywhere else) and if I don’t like the music I can now walk up to the Pastor or Worship Leader – flash my card and state quite frankly – “You better do as I want you to do or I will bring the wrath of the Canadian Government done on your head for messing with the OLD BOLD STATUS!!!!”
* - I expect that I can drive as slow as I want or as fast as I want to… and don’t mess with me. When and if a Cop messes with me – I will show him my card!!!!
* - I expect that I will be able to go to the front of the Buffet Line… front of the Theatre Line… and generally the front of everything… I do not want to wait nor should I have to wait.
* - I will stop and adjust things in my pocket, in my purse or whatever I decide to do whenever I decide to do it… if that is at a busy store entrance…in the aisle of the grocery store… in the exit of a busy store – I WILL DO IT. And if you show me your Middle Finger – I will show you my OLD BOLD STATUS CARD!

You see I have now arrived… and I AM OLD and BOLD with the proof to do so.

~ Murray Lincoln ~
http://www.murraylincoln.com/