Tuesday, August 19, 2008

So What Will Your Obit Say?

The Obit jumps off the computer screen. It is cruel to talk this way about anyone – dead or alive… isn’t it? But what if it is true? Oh Boy – what a lady this must have been!

The obit reads….
Dolores Aguilar 1929 - Aug. 7, 2008

Dolores Aguilar, born in 1929 in New Mexico, left us on August 7, 2008. She will be met in the after life by her husband, Raymond, her son, Paul Jr., and daughter, Ruby.

She is survived by her daughters Marietta, Nim, Stela, Beatrice, Virginia and Ramona, and son Billy grandchildren, Donnelle, Joe, Mitzie, Maria, Marty, Tynette, Tania, Leta, Alexandria, Tommy, Billy, Matthew, Raymond, Kenny, Javier, Lisa, Ashlie and Michael; great-grandchildren, Brendan, Joseph, Karissa, Jacob, Delaney, Shawn, Cienna, Bailey, Christian, Andre Jr., Andrea, Keith, Saeed, Nujaymah, Salma, Merissa, Emily, Jayci, Isabella, Samantha and Emily. I apologize if I missed anyone.

Dolores had no hobbies, made no contribution to society and rarely shared a kind word or deed in her life. I speak for the majority of her family when I say her presence will not be missed by many, very few tears will be shed and there will be no lamenting over her passing.

Her family will remember Dolores and amongst ourselves we will remember her in our own way, which were mostly sad and troubling times throughout the years. We may have some fond memories of her and perhaps we will think of those times too. But I truly believe at the end of the day ALL of us will really only miss what we never had, a good and kind mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. I hope she is finally at peace with herself. As for the rest of us left behind, I hope this is the beginning of a time of heating and learning to be a family again.

There will be no service, no prayers and no closure for the family she spent a lifetime tearing apart. We cannot come together in the end to see to it that her grandchildren and great-grandchildren can say their goodbyes. So I say here for all of us, GOOD BYE, MOM.

On the Other Side…
Yesterday I stood beside the bed of the sweetest lady that I have ever met. Iva is not doing well and will likely be in the presence of her Lord before a week is up. She was married to Don who passed away years ago. She never had any children. Through all that she is the nicest lady that I think that I have ever met.

How can two people be so very different? How can one hurt so many? How can one help so many?

A lifetime is one that we all have – what do we do with it?

Over the years as a pastor I have met a few of the “Dolores” of this life. They are miserable with themselves and others which pours out from and into everything they do.

Today I react with deep feelings for the precious little lady that is soon to go. In her 97th year and having blessed so many – there must be a special place for her in Heaven.

I can’t judge Dolores as to where she will eventually end up. I have met a number of these kinds of people that sit in church regularly. They think they even hold the keys to heaven. But they haven’t noticed that few of the congregation are sitting beside them.

Believe me there is a sharp contrast in the way that we live.

I have a choice today. I can be a “Dolores” and make everyone miserable – or I can be the sweetest example the world has ever know.

"Oh God let me be like “Iva” for all my days. And God… if you allow me to live to 97 – may my years be filled with joy and happiness. I so much don’t want to be a “Dolores”. And Lord – please try to do something with Dolores before I get to Heaven – I so much don’t want to live next door to her… Eternity is too long to have an angry neighbour. Please God… PLEASE!"

~ Murray Lincoln ~
PS – My one “T Shirt” says…
“Live your life so the Preacher doesn’t have to lie about you at your funeral.”

Obit Story –

Obit Confirmation –

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