From the Desk of Murray Lincoln: In Step With Our Kids

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Today’s Blog Post
Guest Blogger – Bruce Lindsay

In Step With Our Kids
By Bruce Lindsay

This is a story about staying involved with your kids – staying relevant.

When I read Murray’s recent blog about ‘The World of Goo’ and another grandpa who’s too busy to play games with his grandkids I thought I need to shout it out – IF YOU DON’T SHOW INTEREST IN THEM, THEY WILL HAVE NO INTEREST IN YOU!

Oh it doesn’t happen right away, but over the course of their young lives, children know the answer to the question: Do you really care or do you just want to give them a kiss and a hug once in a while and say you care?

I always know when I run a funeral and the grandkids haven’t found time to come.

Waiters and waitresses always know when they see the family that eats together, but has nothing to talk about.

I remember when my son, Clifford, was about 11 years old and trying to master a Spiderman video game. He got stuck at one level. Expecting he would get stuck there, I had downloaded a map of the city for him to see where he had to go to find the bad guys (or whatever). Murray was really impressed that I was so involved that I could predict the problem and have the solution ready.

I’ve tried to be a good Dad. But people have often told me that, “Up until now, it’s been easy. Wait until he’s a teenager. Then you’ll see…”
That sounds like a challenge if ever I heard one.

Clifford is almost 15 now (I know! I can’t believe it either). His latest interest is a game called ‘War Hammer 40K’. It is a game played with plastic and lead soldiers on a table, a little like chess, but much more complicated – and much more expensive.

Imagine you have to choose an army. Then you buy the rule book and another book so you know all the special rules for your own army. Then you buy the army, one squad at a time. Each squad costs between $10-45. Then you need a tank or 4 at about $60 each. Then you need a veteran squad and maybe an assault squad and a demolisher squad. Then you need a special leader for a squad, make that 3 special leaders. How about an army chaplain too? He can actually help your men in the attack (Hey, even in the game, prayer moves the hand of God). You will want some mechanics to help repair your tanks or other weapons. And on, and on...

In total, I’m sure that Clifford has spent at least $400 on this game. And he has only one army! Most of it was his own money he earned by umpiring baseball games last summer. His army is awesome. And he is a very strategic thinker. He is winning tournaments now.

He was going to visit friends on his days off, sometimes sleeping over and having massive battles. Clifford has about 4 other friends all building their own armies.

I realized that to stay involved in Clifford’s life, I wasn’t just going to have to support him in his decisions and read the rules and understand the game to be able to talk about it and have relevant things to say to him – and yes I was doing all that. I realized I needed my own army!

I began to build the Tyranid army. It’s an army of nasty bug-like creatures. If you’ve seen the movie Alien and Aliens (there might be 4 others now – Alien versus Predator was the last one) then you have some idea of what my soldiers look like. They all have sharp claws, they are fast, some of them spit poison and stuff, but they are still bugs. They die pretty easily.

I’ve built the army up so it looks cool. My army is not nearly big enough to beat Clifford’s yet, but it’s growing. Soon my Tyranid army will rule the world! Yes, I’ve had a few problems. The rules are sometimes too complicated for me and I have to keep checking the rule-book to know what each weapon does and how strong it is or how fast each guy can run. I had trouble gluing the wings on my flying gargoyle-creatures so I left them with Murray to try his luck.

But it’s been a very fun Christmas, playing the game with Clifford and his cousin Jonathan. I still speak their language and I am still involved in Clifford's precious life. I should say, he still invites me into his precious life and allows me to spend time with him.

Parents and grandparents, this is where I say, “GO, AND DO LIKEWISE.” Find out where your children and grandchildren are at, and go there. I daresay it’s not easy. You might have to read some books about things you are really not interested in. You might have to learn some new things that you don’t really care about. You might have to spend a whole lot of money and even purchase some kind of new gadget or game. But in the end, having the precious time with that precious life makes it worth it. They will know you love them and know that you aren’t just saying it. And then, (Surprise, surprise!) they will begin to show interest in you and where you are at, and go there, with you!

Now I must go. There is a sale on at the game shop. I’m going to buy a different kind of bug that is camouflaged so well, it is invisible to other armies. It can spring out of nowhere and attack when it’s least expected. BOO-HAA-HAA-HAA-HAA! (Evil, conquer the world laugh.)

~ Bruce Lindsay ~