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Depends, Rubber Gloves and Airport Security
They are all rumours to this point… for me. That is all the stories of the new airline security procedures. Each day since Christmas 2009 new things are being reported in the news, written, talked about or on TV. It seems since the young African kept an explosive powder in his under shorts, then attempted to blow up the airline he was on… the suspicions are that every one is going to have stuff under their clothes. Further to that it is a possibility that folk will begin taping flat packets of powder in packages to different parts of their bodies to be used in similar ways while in flight.
There is humour in this folks and I don’t for one minute envy the folk at the security check points at any airport. Their job is on the line and they have to do what they are being required to do. Think of them for a minute or two,
The first issue is the now apparent ‘Pat Down’ that is happening at most of our airports. The rubber gloved attendant massages all of you body – and I mean all. He has to develop his touch through someone’s clothing to the point that he or she is able to discover instantly if someone has something sewing into their under wear… or other sections on their anatomy.
Has your imagination kicked in yet? Are you standing in that line and can you feel the perspiration breaking out on your forehead and the folk in front of you are being strip searched from the outside of their clothing?
Concentrating on someone’s crotch and having to tenderly run your gloved fingers over their private areas to make sure there is no illegal and dangerous substances… is not an appealing job.
Now add age to the individual that is flying and the fact that some may have to use ‘Depends’ (or their equivalent of the adult diaper) it starts to change the picture of what might be there. There may be more that is there than the ordinary person carries. Yikes.
Going to the gym each morning and having to frequent that change room I have seen more than my fair share of anatomy. The men that share that busy room with me are all different – very different from each other. That sight alone came to mind as the TV was showing a Pat Down. Double Yikes!
I mean the thoughts are rampant. What training do these folk have to know… well just know what they will have to know?
Now add to the fact that some I know are so ticklish that they cannot be touched. Now add that to a security line frisking… and that rubber gloved middle aged security man from Pakistan… may get his face slapped… or one really loud “whooooah” from one of my friends.
There isn’t anyone that I know that won’t jump when ‘goosed’.
Now given the fact that you are always being watched for physical appearance changes when you are in line… profuse sweating indicating fear and guilt… a whole lot more people might be taken from the line for further checking.
A ‘Full Body Scan Machine’ looks real good now. This is true for the traveler and the poor South Asian person that is required to rubber glove someone – with a straight face.
I have thought of going on a trip some day in the near future. Some how air travel is losing it aura of excitement as I consider some of this. Triple yikes! The walk is too long and the thought of a long boat ride drives me insane.
So as time goes on and a possible trip looms to the USA, via air, I am thinking seriously of talking with my doctor for some form of anti-anxiety medication for the pat down experience.
Now that hasn’t even dealt with the fact that for one hour before the flight landing I will have to stay in my seat and not get up. No retrieval of stuff from my carry on… no bathroom trip just before landing… no long time in the bathroom… no bowel problems… or YOU MIGHT BE A TERRORIST. (One situation this week it was reported that they launched the fighter jets because one man was in the washroom too long while in flight!) I WILL NEED TO WEAR DEPENDS!
I think I will just stay home. Quadruple YIKES!!!!
I gotta go to the gym.
~ Murray Lincoln ~
http://www.murraylincoln.com/
1 comment:
I know I'm a bit of a conspiracy theorist nut. You can't watch Zeitgeist or Zeitgeist Addendum and not be one. But when you see how much personal autonomy we are willing to give away for the sake of being able to travel and how much this benefits people that want to control, it is scary. It's simply downright population programming that is happening right now. Never been a time like it. Even those who are adamantly opposed to this type of bs will cave in the moment they need to travel by plane somewhere. It's brilliant and diabolical, all at the same time.
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