48 Years of “Eat, Pray, Love”

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Today’s Blog Post


48 Years of “Eat, Pray, Love”
Now here is a revelation from a Marriage Expert!

Her name is Elizabeth Gilbert and she is 40 years old – and married to the most recent guy, Felipe, for 3 years…but was recovering from a nasty divorced as she entered the new marriage. She entered the new marriage only after meeting Felipe in Indonesia and then trying to get back into the USA….where immigration people told her that she either had to marry him or he would not be allowed into the country.

I was doing a calendar up yesterday for one of the groups that I work with – and was pointed to Valentines Day, Feb 14, 2010. That pointed me to the 49 Valentines Days that I have been with one woman – and also quite a few days of the 49 that I forgot to buy her something. Yikes!

But then as I looked at her I realized that I am(we are) a bit of a ‘dinosaur generation’ in that we met, started to fall in love and then continued to love each other forever – all 48 years of it.

Yet when I give advice about Marriage I am not like Gilbert… who has written a very popular book about it… “Eat, Pray, Love”… which is now to be a to become a Movie for the Big Screen! No body wants to make a Movie about Dinosaurs these days… except when they call it the “Ice Age”.

CNN reporter A. Pawlowski interviewed Ms Gilbert. It was interesting to read. Here is a portion of that interview (link below take you to the whole interview)

Quote…
CNN: So you dedicated yourself to study marriage. What surprised you the most about your research?
Gilbert: If you look at the history of marriage, anytime you see a conservative culture of arranged marriage being replaced by a more liberal culture of romantic marriage ... you will see divorce rates start to rise immediately.


It turns out that love is a very fragile notion upon which to base a very important and complicated institution. I think most people throughout history would look at the way we choose our marriages today and just think, my God, these people took huge risks. They risk their future, financial stability, property and their heirs on something as fragile and delicate as romantic affection.


It's not that that necessarily means that I advocate a return to arranged marriage, it just helps put in perspective why contemporary western marital arrangements can become so chaotic.
When love dies, and that's the only thing that holds you together, there is nothing to keep the marriage intact.


CNN: Some of your views might shatter fans of "Jerry Maguire" and the film's famous "You complete me" line. You write that you "refuse to burden Felipe with the tremendous responsibility of somehow completing me."


Gilbert: I'm such a romantic person and I love "Jerry Maguire" as well. I love that scene, I love that moment. But I think there does come a time when we have to distinguish between the romance of love and the reality of long-term, decades-long intimacy.


Sometimes what happens is we long for the fairy-tale ending. I'm a little bit more of an advocate for the fairy-tale beginning. I think it's wonderful when a love story begins with a great deal of romance and affection, passion and excitement, that's how it should be.


But I don't necessarily know that it's the wisest thing in the world to expect that it ends there, or that it should, 30 years down the road, still look as it did on the night of your first kiss. ~ End Quote

The side bar in the CNN article states…
STORY HIGHLIGHTS
* In "Committed," Elizabeth Gilbert spends months traveling and researching marriage
* Gilbert, boyfriend were "sentenced to wed" to avoid immigration problems
* "Women go into marriage with such high expectations," Gilbert says
* Julia Roberts will play her in the film version of Gilbert's memoir, "Eat, Pray, Love"

I don’t have problem with Ms Gilbert nor her book(s) – I don’t know her at all. I only know a deep a committed ‘dinosaur way’ that is now entering our 43 year of being married… and 48th Valentine Day!

I know that we are not what we were when we began. Lots of things have changed and stiffened and gone fat and simply … gone!

My friend sent me a New Alphabet to consider… here it is…

A for arthritis;
B the bad back,
C the chest pains, perhaps car-d-iac?
D is for dental decay and decline,
E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!
F is for fissures and fluid retention,
G is for gas which I'd rather not mention.
H high blood pressure--I'd rather it low;
I for incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend,
K is for knees that crack when they bend.
L for libido, what happened to sex?
M is for memory, I forget what comes next.
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
O is for osteo, bones that don't grow!
P for prescriptions, I have quite a few, just give me a pill and I'll be good as new!
Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.
S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears,
T is for Tinnitus; bells in my ears!
U is for urinary; troubles with flow;
V for vertigo, that's 'dizzy,' you know.
W for worry, N OW what's going 'round?
X is for X ray, and what might be found.
Y for another year I'm left here behind,
Z is for zest I still have-- in my mind.

My Bride and I can now understand this list better after all these years!

BUT on this cold January Morning… I want to declare that I am still in Love with the same woman after all these years. And I am a Dinosaur!

I might go to see the new Movie when it comes out.

48 years down the road, it still looks as it did on the night of our first kiss.

I wish you, Ms Gilbert and Felipe, all the success in the world!

~ Murray Lincoln ~
http://www.murraylincoln.com/

Source:
http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/01/05/elizabeth.gilbert.marriage.book/index.html