Misty Hollow Carving
This BLOG is sponsored by “Misty Hollow Carving”. You are welcome to visit Misty Hollow and see all of my carvings.

My Web Site is a like a Gallery – please drop in for a stroll through.

To help me promote my Web Site please copy this URL address and email to someone today http://www.murraylincoln.com/      
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *


Blog Post for today…
Dealing with On-Line Mourning and On-Line Death

I first experienced an “On-Line Death” in the fall of 1991. The impact was very strange for me. I had never felt the feelings I had with this particular death

To explain better I need to tell you the circumstances of what was taking place.

The Internet as we know it today in 2009 had not evolved to what it is now. There was no Google, no MSN, no Facebook, no actual on-line – immediate connection as we have now. Instead we had our computers dial into a HUB somewhere – hopefully locally and then the local connection provided some kind of world connection that was larger than the local. It was mainly used for getting needed files to make your computer work better.

I had lived in Scarborough just prior to this 1991 time in my life. In April 1991 we moved to Yorkton, Saskatchewan about 1700 miles west and north of the last home.

I had been involved in an on-line Pastor’s Discussion Group that had to be dialed up, and then a Packet of Mail downloaded to your machine – along with my machine sending out a new packet or freshly written letters/files to the kind of ‘Post Office’ that in turn gave everyone the mail I sent.

Even describing this old fashioned, 18 year old method seems odd today!

One of the pastors on the group was older and had retired. His son was actively serving in a church. This older man always had such great information and ideas in any discussion the group was carrying on. Each time I saw his name and what he wrote I had great appreciation for his wisdom.

For about a year we grew to know each other better. Then his messages stopped being included in the mail packet that I downloaded each day.

It was about a week later that his son came back on-line again and explained that he had been away from posting because of the death of his dad and the week long funeral preparations that took place.

As I read his words I was stunned and almost without breath as I realized that a long distance friendship that I had grown to love and respect was suddenly gone. This friend had died without me knowing about it. It was very sudden and without warnings of any kind.

It was my first On-Line death and mourning. I mourned for someone that I had never met… knew only by his wisdom and wished I could have met him personally. I knew his mind and spirit but not his physical.

Today the Toronto Star reported by way of Denise Balkissoons article that Facebook has instituted new rules within this rapidly changing social networking group.

Denise states… quote…
“On Tuesday, Facebook announced that profiles of the deceased would remain online, with a few adjustments. Only people already on the dead person's friends list will be able to find them in name searches, and the profile will be locked to new comments. The decision came after a slew of users complained that Facebook's "suggestions" function – a list of people an algorithm thinks might be your friends – kept suggesting they connect with dead loved ones. Presumably, pages of people known to be deceased will now be kept out of the feed.” End quote…

The automated programming kept suggesting dead people might be my new friends. Yikes!

The whole new world of Social Networking through the computer and on-line means has changed my world. I am deeply affected by what is happening but at times without the ways and means to deal with it. I am not sure how to deal with death or approaching death of a friend by email… or FaceBook.

A few days ago one of my friends named Harold contacted me by Facebook. I am part of a large group that knows him well and that has supported him in whatever way we can as he has been struggling with Cancer for about 18 months now. Again I know him well because of his writing… and his ideas… his clarity of thought… his love.

His last message reads as follows… quote…
Subject: Thank you for your love and prayers

Because of my declining physical health I cannot keep up my contacts with email or FaceBook. It probably is not long until I see my Saviour face to face and I look forward to renewing our relationship, but most of all see our Saviour together.

Thank you for continuing to pray for me, Yvonne, and those the Lord gave us to enjoy all these years. He has also blessed us with so many wonderful relationships with His family.

I am not at all informed by the Lord when that date will be. Only He knows. Just know that you and all your wonderful kindness and love has meant so much to us and when the day comes someone will inform you. In the meantime keep on keeping on in your faithfulness to the One who never fails.

God bless you and keep you until that day dawns and the shadows all flee away!”

“Harold”
End quote…

As I have read these words over and over again it started to sink in.. my friend Harold will be gone soon. If something amazing doesn’t take place he will be gone before Christmas 2009.

I don’t know how to deal with this kind of thing. Even with all my years as a minister I am at loss as to how to deal with these On-Line Feelings. Any kind of email cannot be delivered to a friend that is going or now gone. And any contact with family is not always possible. It was Harold that I knew well… not always the family. Now he will not be able to write anymore.

The Future…
I have come to realize that my struggle may be because I have two feet in the old world where we dealt with this death idea in another way. But my grandkids and great grandkids will see it differently than I do… and will know only this one way.

There is a permanence with this Blog. My ideas and words will drift around the Internet forever. Some snippet of my thinking will always be there.

The original idea was to write words that would help my grandkids know me better – someday when they need to. However I realize that it may well be something unnerving for them as Grandpa Lincoln speaks to them over and over again after he is gone.

I need to say one big thing now… before I forget… Clifford, Emma, Jonathan, Thomas, Michael and Christopher – I love you six unbelievable kids! I only wish that I could have lived about 150 years to see all of you grow up and do the amazing things you will do. But that will not likely happen. For now… just know that I believe in all of you. You are amazing!!!

Someday when you read this – I will be gone. I hope you will understand that Grandpa sure knows what you are going through.

One more thing… when you can… go fishing for me. I love fishing. I loved taking you fishing too and will be there some how to see you catch one big for me.

~ Murray Lincoln ~
www.murraylincoln.com
Source:
http://www.thestar.com/news/insight/article/718254--online-mourning-evolves