"New Friends" and the Power of Together

The room was a buzz with the voices of happy people. The dynamic that was taking place was simply amazing. ‘People with people’, ‘people meeting people’, and ‘people talking with each other’ were the flavors of the day.

This is the “New Friends” group meeting for the very first time. For over a month now the folks that we have shared the idea with have pressed me to find out what the “program” will be like. I couldn’t answer until we first met – now we can shout it out – “It is plain and simple fun to be together. The program is not the central part – it is all about the people that attend and their time together.”

The only place you will hear this kind of buzz may be at a high school dance. The difference would be that you might have music in the background at the high school.
It has been 65 to 75 years since these folks were in high school. This is a dynamic group of very alive seniors. The group is designed to invite and accept people from the community “outside” and the community “inside”. It is designed to encourage lonely people to meet.

On Feb 5th together we met these goals. People came together. What an amazing time together.

It has taken me 39 years to recognize what is happening around me and for me.

First - for almost 4 decades I have witnessed this amazing phenomena but was powerless to do much about it. The phenomena is people love to simply be with each other. Young or old this is always true.

Second – we conduct programs to bring people together.

Third – programs feature people talking to people, or program rules that must be kept to make the program go forward. Program becomes and is all powerful.

Fourth – most people come to a program so that they can talk to each other. More talking happens before the program and after the program – and that is what people look forward to. People meet at programs so they can gain a friend they can talk to after the program.
Check it out…Church….Some people love going to church. If they are honest about it the part that they love is meeting people in the foyer, close to their pew and when leaving their pew then heading back to the foyer. And – get this – they tolerate the interruption of the minister and the people at the front for the one hour or so doing the program – where program is all powerful – so they can capture that few minutes with one person (or more) that might talk with them.

Most experiences at church offer about 10 minutes of interaction with others. If you know someone you will get more interaction. If you don’t you will get less. New people get about 4 minutes flat out – with six people shaking their hands and some of these asking about them. Now if the church is not a “hand shaking” kind – or there is a fright about the Flu Season and Germs – kill the 4 minutes – make that 2.

Now consider the fact that an average person spends over 2 hours(maybe even 3 hours) of their time getting ready for church, traveling to the church, standing-sitting-listening in church, and the small part of talking to someone in church.

Experienced and known people in church get on average 8 percent of their time talking with each other. Brand New people get less than 4 percent of their time talking with some one.

Now I am not knocking church – we come to talk to God… or have him talk to us – right? Why is it then that someone like me did most of the talking using up at least 75 percent of the time that a person has Sunday AM? The answer is simple – program is important and powerful.
Seniors groups…
I spoke to one senior about attending the card games offered at the one senior’s center. This person told me “I will play cards if some one will talk to me… but most people like playing cards that there is “bidding” involved – and they won’t talk except to bid. It is no fun.”

Another person told me of their senior group experience that it is most unsatisfying and they will not return unless “so and so” gets out of the way. “She is so bossy and she won’t let anyone talk – all she wants to do is her business and hear herself talk. I don’t want to go back.”

For “so and so” program is all she has ever known and her program is run like a tight ship.

Over the past years I have attended a lot of seniors groups. My function has been to be “the speaker”. While waiting to speak they have often been conducting some business or their regular business… and again program is all important. Then I stand up to chirp away… and everyone listens.

High Schoolers are the interesting ones to watch. They spend most of their days listening to someone in their program talk to them. If you talk to the kids you find out that the best part about school is the people they meet. And in school the very best part of everything is the group(s) you belong to. And guess what? Friends and talking to friends is simply the Number One thing to do. Cell phones, Text Messaging, Facebooking, and the dozens of other things that they are able to do now – connect them with friends all the time.

65 to 75 years later teenagers are still the same. They have bodies that are 80 to 90 years old – but they are lively teenagers inside. But on the outside/inside they are so darn lonely they won’t talk about it to anyone… and they can’t because their best friend from school is gone and dead. Their world has shrunk to on average 4 percent contact with anybody… even family is too busy to talk to them.
Nope I don’t have all the answers yet. I definitely don’t have “program” that I can share. If anything at this stage I could say… invite people then get out of the way.

And if you know someone that might enjoy a great afternoon together with “New Friends.  And as they say “talk is cheap” – in this case that is so true - there is NO COST at all! You are welcome.

~ Murray Lincoln ~

Morning Exercise

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StopBadware.Org

Over the weekend something weird happened to the Web places that I go to… and even to some of my own Web Stuff. Things like the Blogspot places that I deal with suddenly were flashing warnings… something about “Badware” BAM – we were hit by some pretty weird stuff. Everything dealing with Google was affected. And Google being the very big, if not the biggest, search engine on the Internet – it pretty much affected everyone!

To get some idea of what happened consider this. A program was launched by Google to help people consider the site they were looking for – as they searched for something – or as they opened the potential problematic Web Site. There are bad sites that are trying bad things as you come to visit their site. Google had a plan to help stop that.

The problem was the action that they took zapped every site – good or bad with a warning. Google’s warning flashed that this Site has potential Malware… whether it did or not. To solve this – or get by this message – you need to go to another site.

Well it wasn’t every Web Site – just 170,000 Sites all across the great spectrum of servers that were affected the worst. But for a half hour – every Site was tagged that way.

It has been fascinating to read about. The problem is far reaching. The “techie type” persons will understand but the average person will be affected deeply by a “scare” like this. One little error on the part of perhaps one small group – or even one small person – actually one click of a mouse – before all things were considered… messed up a whole lot of people. WOW! And potentially it has affected millions of dollars in revenue for some people – in that so much is done on the Internet.

As I have been mulling over this recent event I have thought about my small world.

I know a couple that have endured horrible things at the hands of good Christians. On one occasion some one called and shared something about the wife of this couple. It was first very untrue. Secondly it was deeply damaging. Third it was so powerful that they moved from the place they lived in and relocated to another community entirely – forced to start over.

One wagging tongue by a dear sister destroyed the whole family. Yes I said “dear sister” because it happened in the church world. Someone inside of church made some personal calculations and then shared their take on what she felt about it all. Only trouble was the “busy body” knew nothing of what this lady was about. In one wag of her tongue she destroyed potentially four lives.
There should be a place in the community where you can hang up “dear sisters” and “busy bodies” for everyone to see. In the old days they placed the bad people in the Stocks at the center of the city for everyone to pelt with rotten vegetables. Today we use too much frozen food – so that won’t work… but…?

In another more recent situation that I was faced with it unnerved me deeply. The attack was on me. When it comes that close it can drive you insane! You really don’t want to go back – because of what people might say, might have said, or have actually said about you. You want to put as much space between you and them as fast as you can.

The whole confusing effort falls under a title I give as “Human Malware” You can also call it Gossip, Sharing, Lies, Inflammatory, and downright Destructive Attitudes.

10 years ago this month a horrible man started a rumor that Pastor Murray(that’s me) teaches from the Satanic Bible. No kidding! That really happened. It spread like wild fire across the religious community that I served in. Within days other pastors in our community called to ask what was going on. The rumor was all across each church. The pastors realized how defaming the rumor was and called to offer help.

For the next year in every one of our church Board Meetings I had to answer questions as to what really happened, what was said, what was done, why the questioner thought this insinuation was hurting our church.

It all started with one man that was a control freak. His intent was to control me. First he was my best buddy. Next his wife tried to be my wife’s best buddy. Then together they tried to force us to make certain decisions. The very first Sunday we were at the church they began by taking us out for lunch.

We should and noticed then what was happening. They talked about every person in the church… told all kinds of stories to “help” us know the way it really was.

Both my wife and I felt very uncomfortable with what they had said and the way they had done this. So we quietly started pulling away. Within two months from the initial lunch together he started to smear us. The Satanic Bible issue was only one of the many rotten stuff that he threw our way. He openly tried everything he could to “kill us”.

In one circumstance in his own work place his own hatred surfaced to a perfectly innocent person. This little dude was a Cable TV installer. While he was visiting one home to install the Cable Service he stopped his work and asked the lady a point blank question. His words were, “What church do you attend?” She gave a faltering answer and asked him “Why do you ask?”

He then proceeded to rant how she should never consider attending Northview Church(the church that I pastored) because of what the minister does – yadda, yadda, yadda. The dear lady called our church and spoke with a staff person, “I don’t know what is going at your church but this is what has happened….” She proceeded to tell everything that the bad little Malware Dude has said and done.

She also called his employer… who then acted accordingly – he was demoted… disciplined and then later got his final “promotion”. He called it early retirement and moved far, far away.
I have personally witnessed what Human Malware can do – and felt it too.

Google’s problem happened when one person clicked it through – launched it to fire through the whole of the Cyber World. We see that they simply had not been careful.

Murray’s problem was worse and so was the problem of the whole church that I served in. One man started a terrible destructive path that eventually would be felt even today – 10 years later. And the church still goes on feeling it.

Murray’s problem is even worse – in that he cannot undo the damage. Neither can Google.

Suggestion? Watch out for miserable little Malwares that can destroy everything.

~ Murray Lincoln ~

Source:
http://news.cnet.com/8301-1009_3-10155028-83.html

Check out my first post of my VLOGING
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2ywN8ZlcxE

Viva… VIVA… VIVAAAAAAA !!!!!

I stepped up on the tread mill early in the morning yesterday. 5:30 AM - the clock said. I then grabbed the remote and popped on the TV. Away I go – on another walk indoors on the cold winter day. I have just gone over the 30 mile marker for last month – it is getting easier.

But it is not like my University Days when I ran each night for 6 miles – often completing over 50 miles in a week. Those were the days… full of vim, vigor and vinegar… oh yah! Man could I do it back then. I was on the amateur wrestling club as well… and the badminton team. THERE WAS NOTHING THAT I COULD NOT DO!

As the tread mill sped up and my pace increased my breathing was quickening as well. Perspiration was now coming to my forehead and back. This was working. Just past a quarter mile and am now hitting 3.5 miles per hour… at this rate I can do a mile in about 20 some minutes… puff puff…

On the TV Screen a new ad came on. It was all about something called JUVENON. Sounds like juvenile – something young. Then old people with gray hair popped on to the screen to tell me that they felt 15, 20 or more years younger. They were popping out of bed earlier and feeling more wide awake than they have for years after taking JUVENON.

Okay… puff puff… it is early and this is early morning TV stuff – selling me something that they think I need.

Then they started talking about their Libido. It seems their Libido left on a holiday and was now back. Each time these old gaffers talked about their Libido – they grinned – just a little.

One older fellow snickered, “Seven days after starting JUVENON I woke up with something else happening that hasn’t happened for a number of years. My Libido was back.”

Did I need to know that? No. But hey.. it is early morning TV and I am on a tread mill almost trotting now… and passing 1/3 of a mile.

As the promises of JUVENON were made with these testimonials I grinned. I wonder what the guy’s wife thinks, “Crazy old fool… why can’t he just sleep longer. What is he doing out there this morning on the lawn at 6 AM? Must be a mid life crisis – but at 77 this is nuts! Harry, Get in here before the neighbours think you are completely nuts! What have you got that old University Sweat suit on for – IT DOESN’T FIT!”

I imagine that Harry’s kids are complaining too. Mom is tired all the time with Dad dragging her all over the country. And with Dad now wanting to do that half marathon in two months things have changed big time.

I just passed the ½ mile maker… puffing harder now and sweating more.

JUVENON then went off as I changed the channels… and my favorite old show was on. Great to see this kind of program now… when all the other stuff that is on is so stupid… “Survivor”… “American Idol” and “Canadian Idol”… and that other dumb stuff…

Nuts… more commercials… “Enzyte” – natural male enhancement…. And it came on and on and on – every commercial was about “Enzyte” – for Pete’s sake… this is early morning TV…

Switch channels… the familiar musical strain was coming on with gusto… It was an Elvis impersonator “Viva, Viva, Viva Viagra….”

The Viagra Web Site states the same thing that the “background voice guy” said so quickly on TV…
Important safety information Don't take VIAGRA if you take nitrates, often prescribed for chest pain, as this may cause a sudden, unsafe drop in blood pressure. Discuss your general health status with your doctor to ensure that you are healthy enough to engage in sexual activity. If you experience chest pain, nausea, or any other discomforts during sex, seek immediate medical help. As with any ED tablet, in the rare event of an erection lasting more than 4 hours, seek immediate medical help to avoid long-term injury. If you are older than age 65, or have serious liver or kidney problems, your doctor may start you at the lowest dose (25 mg) of VIAGRA. If you are taking protease inhibitors, such as for the treatment of HIV, your doctor may recommend a 25-mg dose and may limit you to a maximum single dose of 25 mg of VIAGRA in a 48-hour period. In rare instances, men taking PDE5 inhibitors (oral erectile dysfunction medicines, including VIAGRA) reported a sudden decrease or loss of vision. It is not possible to determine whether these events are related directly to these medicines or to other factors. If you experience sudden decrease or loss of vision, stop taking PDE5 inhibitors, including VIAGRA, and call a doctor right away.
Hokey Mokey… chest pain, nausea, or any other discomforts during sex… an erection lasting more than 4 hours… and then blindness… (that is what loss of vision is all about) – I GUESS IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO CALL A DOCTOR – or the Coroner…

Now I THINK THIS IS FUNNY… it is early morning TV – one show wants me to buy JUVENON to get up earlier, get back my Libido(wherever it went), another is selling me something to be natural…. And one is telling me Viva Viva Viva….

Just passed the ¾ mile mark… sweat is really coming now… the flash backs of the feelings in University are coming quickly now… one mile, two miles, three miles, four miles…. Man oh man this feels good!

My heart is nearly exploding… and my head is pounding… and I can… make it… .88 of a mile…. Come on…. Viva…. You can make it… .94 of a mile… .99…. ONE MILE… yahoo!

The thought has crossed my mind on one or two mornings, “If I had a major coronary at the half mile marker… at 5:30 AM – while watching TV and the commercials… Alida, my wife, might find me about 9:30 AM or 10 AM…. Cold shivers hit me at that point…

But if I crossed/mixed JUVENON with ENZYTE and mixed in the smaller amount of Viagra recommended for older men… and then slowed down my tread mill workouts a little…. Maybe it would work… I COULD LIVE FOREVER…..

But there is something very funny about that mental image… this shriveled up old gaffer, with the saggy belly…skinny legs… solid white hair… sun tanned skin with dark sun spots all over… strutting around the pool in Florida…. leering at the sun bathed beauties around the pool.. while singing “Viva, Viva, Viva Las Vegas… I mean Viagra…”

God just told me that it is okay to be old. Alida told me yesterday that she loves me just the way that I am… and well the grandkids kind of expect me to stay the same. If I became that old shriveled up gaffer… they may never talk to me again….

And somehow… chest pain, nausea, or any other discomforts during sex… an erection lasting more than 4 hours… and then blindness just isn’t too appealing!

As far as getting up any earlier… if I took that stuff… I wouldn’t need to go to bed… Viva… VIVA… VIVAAAAAAA!!!!!

~ Murray Lincoln ~

Source:
http://juvenon.com/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enzyte
http://www.viagra.com/viva-viagra-music.aspx
http://www.viagra.com/viagra-safety.aspx
http://bingskee.com/?p=626

One of Man’s Greatest Temptations

My body shook as I turned the corner early this morning. It was very early and a very odd time to be taken by such a powerful temptation. I could hardly pass this point in the house. That point in time will not be forgotten for months to come. I cannot come by here again – I must resist… I simply must.

What produces such powerful and deeply attractive things in our lives? Why can’t I resist? I am a deeply spiritual person. I should be able to draw on the strengths from the deepest spiritual areas of my life and resist. But I cannot.

From the moment that I passed that spot I knew I was done. I will yield before the hour is up… I know I will. The temptation trap has been laid out and I am done for!

This has happened before. I know my weakness. One day I was on a downtown street walking quickly to my next appointment and “Kerbam” it hit me again. I was stopped dead in my tracks and then turned into the place of temptation and yielded. The sense was over powering and I could not stop myself… I simply lost it!

But I have to admit this was not the first time that this particular temptation was part of my life. It has happened over and over again – for way over 64 years of my life… at least all the part that I can remember. Well maybe it has only been 62 years that the problem has existed.

It is however more dangerous in this past few years as I age. As I approach my later years and potential health risk factors – this addiction is downright destructive.

Can you guess my addiction or reason for it?

One more hint to share with you that may help. My Grandma Emma Kirkpatrick was the one most responsible for this addiction. Following that my own mother contributed to this down fall.

Just before we would leave my Grandma’s place heading back to the city from their farm at Truax, Saskatchewan – she would ask my parents if she could give the kids something to eat on the road.

Now there was the second hint.

The major addiction is to fresh home made bread! Ahhhaaah! I cannot resist.

We bought a new bread maker. Last night my wife set the timer so that the fresh loaf would be done by 5:30 AM. Araaaghh! As I walked by this morning the powerful machine it was putting the finishing touch on a fresh loaf. Bing Bing Bing it was done. Arrrraaaaghhhh! I opened the lid… Hot Hot Hot… aaah! Get an oven mitt!

The smell is out if this world outside my office at this moment. I cannot resist the impulse of taking that long knife and slowly slicing, lovingly through that golden crust. The loaf must be cooler than it is at the moment. My wife said that it needs one hour of cooling…. I can’t wait!!!! I ca….. ait….
Now… if it is a cooler winter day where you are and you are going crazy with the indoor stuff that is so boring – fresh bread will make the difference. It will place a smile on your face from ear to ear. And with fresh strawberry jam ladled on to the thick layer of butter… one bite will place some jam on your face as well… but you must make the bite deep and very wide.

Oh man it is good early in the morning!

Now I have to complete this morning’s exercise routine. I just passed the 30 mile marker of walking for 2009. I am heading for a personal record if I can. Today I will walk faster with the smell in the house.

Man oh man do I love home made bread.

And the downtown failure of yielding to my temptation….? It is a bakery on one of our main streets. Every once and a while the exhaust fans puff out a mighty whoof of fresh bread aroma. Guaranteed it will make your knees weak… and you just have to go in. Oh boy! Oh Boy! Oh….boy!

Sorry I have to run now. I gotta…. get… something…. done…
Arrgghhh!

~ Murray Lincoln ~

The “Marmota monax” saw the light today

I have living proof that Spring is not far away. This is a very Canadian thing by the way… but living proof.

In many parts of North America today conflicting reports are coming this morning – the Groundhog – an over stuffed muff of an animal that inhabits many areas of our hemisphere – came out of its hole or habitat. If it sees its shadow we will get 6 more weeks of winter.

In our Canadian setting the most famous is Wiarton Willie – an albino groundhog – that came out today and saw his shadow. That means of course that we will have about another 42 days of winter.

Yesterday and today we had a break in our over cast and very cold weather… the sunshine broke out. And with that break out there is a definite change in the events around us. Our people do some strange things.

At a local Tim Hortons a teenager rode up to the building in his shorts and a winter jacket. Darn – no camera when the best shots could happen.

An email confirmed today that spring is just around the corner. “Brenda” came out of her winter lair to enjoy the sunshine. Here she is in full colour with her coffee mug in hand and a big smile.
Brenda you are my hero! You are far more accurate than Wiarton Willie. You are also brave in that Wiarton Willie was pulled from his cage for the cameras to shoot him. You willingly came outside for over an hour.

I am thinking now that a once-a-week coffee party in some snow bank will help. It is something to look forward to and great fellowship with a “cup of joe”.

So – my fellow Canadians – here it is… MY PREDICTION based on my friend Brenda’s willingness to help all of us. 6 or 8 weeks doesn’t matter to us. Hearty Canadians unite – step out in the cold and wave your mug skyward. “Here is to good fellowship and a good pair of long underwear… WE ARE C-A-N-A-D-I-A-N-S!”

As one of the articles points out, the groundhog likely comes out for other reasons that are not as easy to write about. Given the right amount of light, climate and the fact that they have been indoors for a long time – they come out to mate. Ahemmm. But that is another story for another time!

~ Murray Lincoln ~

Source:
http://www.thestar.com/Unassigned/article/580743
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groundhog

Tyshan Herman Campbell is loose – what if?

There are days that I am sure that you wished you wouldn’t have got out of bed. There are other days when you look back and are absolutely thrilled that you got out of bed that day. It was and is the best day of your life. For Tyshan Herman Campbell it was that way a few weeks ago.

Read this article by Brian Gray(Sun Media – Toronto Sun) – I am reprinting the whole article as I refer to it in my words below..

Inmate Mistakenly Let Loose
By Brian Gray
A Mississauga man considered dangerous by police was mistakenly released from jail in Milton yesterday.

Tyshan Herman Campbell, 25, was let out of the Maplehurst Correctional Complex around 11:30 a.m., Halton Regional Police said. He was being held while several drug and weapons charges were being dealt with, police said.

"This individual shouldn't have been released but he was," said Stuart McGetrick, a spokesman for the province's community safety and correctional services ministry.

Campbell and Gabrielle Myles were arrested last May in an early-morning raid on a Jane St. and Lawrence Ave. W. home, where police seized a 9-mm firearm.

Campbell's previous run-ins with the law include a December 2002 arrest, along with two other men, for a home-invasion shooting near Carlaw and Gerrard Aves. A 25-year-old victim took a shotgun blast to the back after the trio demanded cash.

Toronto Police recovered a sawed-off shotgun and a handgun when the three men were arrested a day later.

Halton Police, who were contacted within about 15 minutes of the mistaken release, said Campbell has ties to both Mississauga and Toronto, and is believed to still be in the GTA.

Campbell is described as a black male, 5-foot-10, 148 pounds with brown eyes and black hair. He was last seen wearing a black waist-length parka with red, yellow and green striping on the collar and cuffs. He had a green New York Jets jersey, black track pants, black Nike shoes and a black toque.

About 70,000 individuals are released per year from Ontario correctional facilities, McGetrick said. "And last year 23 people were improperly released.

"Even one is troubling but this is quite a rare occurrence," he said. "We are looking into what happened so that we can ensure it doesn't happen again."

In Chris Doucette’s (CNews) article a quote is offered from the police “following an improper release”

As Brian Gray points out there are 70,000 releases from jail each year in Ontario. Wow – that is a lot! Our two larger, Provincial jails/institutions house roughly 1000 people in each facility… then there are smaller ‘Buckets’ around the province where people are held for shorter periods of time… so 70,000 is possible. But we need to see that there are 70,000 coming out and that many more going in!

What if – we had another way of doing this stuff and dealing with Tyshan Herman Campbell’s kind? What if?

On average 23 a year are released on “Ooops Releases” where someone gets away by system error… they simply walk out the doors to a fresh & free world… but they are not suppose to be out there… and inevitably they disappear into the communities they come from and likely into the action/money making schemes that they need to survive.

For one thing – there are 23 victims (a minimum) that are worried – or 23 communities that should be worried. That is serious if you have been victimized by the crime and criminal.

But there is way more here than the public knows about. Heads should role but they don’t. In Tyshan Herman Campbell’s case they might because it was publicized and got to the newspaper… but from what I have followed 22 stories did not.

These stories are the real stories… in that a system has failed. Papers will have to be shuffled and throats cleared to make it go away.

The police count on the fact that most of the offenders have repeat patterns and will show up again shortly.

The jail guard union in the provincial system is powerful and will cover their butts and the butts of each other.

Now it must be someone’s fault – wouldn’t you think? It must be a leader – or someone working for them. Let’s railroad a politician and do a good job of asking WHY!?!

Wherever Tyshan Herman Campbell is today… his Thursday January 22, 2009 was a lucky day. (It was reported on January 29 – referred to a Thursday “escape/release” at 11:45 AM).

Now what if…
What if Tyshan Herman Campbell cleaned up his act, got it right, left guns alone… cleaned up period, changed his style and his life… entered College or University – what if? Would we accept him? Would there be a place for him near us?

Unfortunately that is not likely going to happen. We all know it. We expect him to fail again. The police do and so do we.

But what if… there are some “what if-s” allowed and Tyshan Herman Campbell started a new life? I for one would be elated and the first to hire him. He would likely be real good with security issues.

I am thankful Tyshan Herman Campbell is loose. It has pointed again to our community and what we need to do to help.

It is all about Restorative Justice - isn't it?

~ Murray Lincoln ~

Source:
Brian Gray
http://www.torontosun.com/news/torontoandgta/2009/01/30/8200091-sun.html
Chris Doucette
http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/Crime/2009/01/29/8196571.html