Alex and Dummies in Church

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Today’s Blog Post

Alex and Dummies in Church

What a brilliant idea!

Meet Alex. When I first saw Alex’s photo I thought maybe this was the face transplant that they have just completed which included the eye lids as well.

But no… Alex is better than that… in fact he is made perfect but not so perfect. And as the text describing him suggests he is a real pain – or in real pain.

Quoting Jaunita Copeland…
“With some adjustments, Alex can become Alexandra, but whatever the sex, this is one sick simulator that can urinate, sweat, bleed, have seizures - and even a cardiac arrest.”
End quote

Whoah – what kind of a “person” is this?

Alex is a patient that was created to help medical staff train. He talks to them… tells them his problems with the typical leads that a sick person has when they come into the Emerge. He can complain and he can give all the symptoms that a real person does when they are in distress.

Quoting again the article by Juanita…
“Samuel Alexander McKenzie – known as Alex - is in his late 20s and his asthma is playing up, so he's ended up in the emergency department.


"I've got quite a tight chest, a cough, and I've been coughing up all this disgusting looking phlegm," he says.
End quote

All this comes from a computer that is designed to show the student Doc or Nurse what to do with the new person in front of them.

Now… what so I do with this information?

I thought… “WOW! Wouldn’t this be great for a Theological Student! For a Student Pastor!!!”

The thoughts have been hilarious. I think I am now ready to write the book… get the text and script ready for the Understudy Minister to step into our churches that will soon need new pastors with all the old Guys Retiring.

The text and script will be used in the voices of the Dummies that they will make for training the students.

The Skins and Shapes and Sex and Body Types will need to be changed considerably… but with the magic they can do now with animation – it should be no problem!

Now there is Sister Miserable… who says… “I am not feeling well pastor. The Evangelist on TV said to reach out touch the TV screen to receive my healing…I did that and now I can’t get my arm down. I sent a check to the man… but they keep wanting more… would you pray for me?”

Then there is Brother Snore that sleeps loudly through church. As the preacher preaches he matches the emphasis of the speaker with loud grunts and snorts. How do you keep him awake? If you speak louder… the others think you are angry.

How about Sister modest? She was a prude when she was younger and very stern with all the youth in the church. Their clothing was too revealing and nothing was modest enough. When the minister walks into her room at the hospital she reaches down and lifts her night gown above her head… thinking the young minister was the new Doctor…

See I told you that it making me laugh… down right silly at times.

I have seen it all – so why shouldn’t the young new pastor do the same.

In our church we are about to get a new pastor as well. He arrives at the start of August 2010. We are looking forward to him being with us.

It will be so much fun watching him becoming involved with these folks.

12 years ago this week my wife and I came to Peterborough, met the congregation, preached on the Sunday (Last Sunday), got the Vote at 98.5%, bought a house the next day, and returned home to sell our house on the following Sunday evening. It was one full week and one that changed our lives completely! It was the beginning of the end of our Pastoral Ministry…. From which we retired not long ago.

When some of the hidden problems in the church started to show up – one by one popping their ugly little heads up… I was surprised that no one had told me what it was going to be like.

Ornery people were hidden behind smiling faces and their hand shakes. Sinful people were hidden in the pews. Nasty little family problems came to church each week to take leadership in the church.

We had hidden Pedophiles that were never charged and convicted (still loose today) and we had Pedophiles that were charged and convicted right under the noses of the Good Families of the church – in fact one was from a Good Family.

We had girls in the Youth Group at that time giving their “virginity” to the guys in the group for the guy’s birthday present.

We had a man that would help the ladies in the church and then try to molest them or actually did molest them… and no one would report him because of fear… yikes.

We had angry growling people that hated whatever I preached about… met her in the hallway after church one morning and nearly died because of what she threatened!

BUT – there were dozens of wonderful people that were just plain delightful!

Yikes – Double Yikes and whoooiee! Pastoring can be fun!

When I was sharing the difficulties that we were experiencing at the church with another semi retired minister and an active minister in the community that attended the church… they grinned at each other. One said to me, “We knew some of these problems existed before you came. We talked about sitting you down and telling you what you will face as you came here. But then we thought again… and said, ‘Nope… he will find out for himself..’

Thanks a lot FRIENDS! It has been a slice and it will all appear in the Book soon!

But the idea of a Dummy that would carry on the way some people have over these years… might even be too big of a challenge for even the world’s greatest computer genius!

As to the new guy coming in August… I am going to enjoy watching him make a new way in the community. I do hope he can get out and meet new people, bring them into the church and get us going again. Goodness knows that we are too old to go out to love anyone. It is easier to watch what he will do for us. Come on NEW GUY – do your STUFF! I can’t wait!

Whoah! What a great 12 years it has been!

~ Murray Lincoln ~
http://www.murraylincoln.com/

Source:
http://www.3news.co.nz/Patient-simulator-helps-med-students-get-it-right/tabid/412/articleID/163016/Default.aspx?ArticleID=163016