The Lincoln Sandwich Generation

My mom needs your prayer today. She is in great pain. It appears that the osteoporosis has taken another piece of her life.

Yesterday we visited the Doctor again. In the last week a new and great pain has come again in her vertebrae. We haven’t heard the results from X-Rays yet but from all physical appearances it has happened again.

In 2006 she suffered a compression fracture in a few vertebrae. The process of healing was long and slow. The Doctor told us yesterday that it may well have happened again.

At 88 years of age the body has served her well. But as we talked about it yesterday she said quietly, “Maybe if I had taken care of my body better when I was young I would be better now…”

I don’t think that is the case… but who knows with the need for calcium to build strong bones… it may not have been something that a young girl in the 1930s and a young mom in the 1940s would have thought of. Then as she reached the mid 1950s and 1960s it was not even a consideration to drink more milk – or take more calcium supplements.

The Doctor told us plainly that the best that can happen now is to slow the progress of the osteoporosis.

As I write I am of the “Sandwich Generation”. Sandwiched between my own family and life – and – the Life of my mom. I am squeezed at times to find the sanity and time to do it all. It is at times one big YIKES!

It would happen even if my mom lived in a Senior’s home. Because she lives with us makes little difference. In fact it is easier. I don’t have to leave early to go and pick her up for the two or three Doctors appointments that take place some weeks.

In 2006 her Doctor in Regina had a very direct conversation with me. He told me plainly that, “…the Family needs to begin planning for the Assisted Living that your mom needs NOW!”

Mom still does not know why he didn’t tell her that. He left it to me. Wahoo!

Well I am the oldest child… why not!? I am the one that has more resources facility wise. I am the one that said, “Mom we want you to come to live with us…” And in 2007 – the month of March – she did.

The Sandwich Generation has some wonderful things about it. The best part is the relief that comes from watching grandkids grow and change daily. With the other changes that are so common around us now with the severe aging process… the wonderful new and sparkling life of six grandkids balances it all out.

I fear for my own kids however. I am looking at them and know that they will be ‘sandwiched’ as well. Resources for us are not great. At one point we will become the ones that the Doctor will kindly/directly talk to our children about.

Aging is weird. At one point I couldn’t wait to get older. I couldn’t wait for that next birthday. Today I am not sure I want another Birthday. With everyone now comes a down burst from a new cloud of problems.

Someone said it well… “Aging Sucks!” The person that first said that to me was 77 years old and had picked it up from his grandson… at least the “sucks” part.

I agree completely. But then the dichotomy comes – I love being this age. It has never been a better time in my life – NEVER. I have freedom beyond imagination. I have peace that passes all understanding. I have a wonderful wife, a fantastic home, the best garage ever and many things to do. I am having a ball.

But yesterday my world slowed as the Doctor told mom and I some of the next steps that they would need to do in order to help us.

“Doctor GD” is amazing. She is old enough to be my granddaughter. She is brilliant beyond anyone’s imagination. And she cares. But rumors are that we might lose her to the next job that she will take.

So today I am off to launch a canoe – at least launch my two grandkids and a son-in-law on their canoe journey for the day. It is good to have this balance.

Hey I am too busy to think about the bad stuff… but oh so thankful that it has worked out the way it has.

Thanks for praying.

~ Murray Lincoln ~
www.murraylincoln.com/

Source:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sandwich_generation