A mysterious person dropped off a weird magazine at our home. There it was sitting on the dinning room table with its bright colors broadcasting its presence. Before I picked it up to look – I glanced left and right to see if anyone was looking.
The price states that it is $4.49 Canadian.
The front cover shouts out that “Camilla’s $250 M Divorce Deal! – Charles Orders her OUT before William’s Wedding”. The Top Banner screams “Who’s Gay and Who’s Not”.
Again – I looked left and right to see who might be watching me. How in the dickens did this get into our house? Hokey Mokey!
Yah – I stumbled through it by reading the page after page of stuff – that was hard to believe. Yah so – I know better – but it was – well – kind of …entertaining to read the full blown BULL on each page.
I do not know if any of it was true… or if some of it is true and but not all of it.
The best of what I read was just past the center section of the Mag… there was the “Sheela Wood Friendship Club”. There is very small print were 43 Ads from people wanting to meet someone.
Yah I read them all. Duh! and Doh!
And guess what I found that there is an answer for all the guys we have in prison in Canada. You can place and Ad with Sheela and she will find you someone to help get you out… REALLY! HONESTLY!
The Ad reads…
“FL 112-098 Correctional Institute inmate. SWM 32. Good hearted badboy. Been in twelve years. Shed a thousand tears. Love play, lots to say. Enjoy writing, studying, thinking and laughing. Please respond.”
Can you imagine… someone is now writing to him and wanting a relationship.
But it didn’t stop there…
KY 012-791 Correctional Institute inmate. Mature, hazel-eyed, WF, 35. ISO older gentleman, LTR, loving, sincere, stable, honest. Let’s cuddle, explore life. Spoil me. I’ll spoil you! Release October. Looking to relocate.
Or how about…
GA 112-068 SWMC Helpmate. Homemaker, best friend. SWF must be Born-Again, biblically divorced, mature Christian, medium build, good health, 50-55. He is 5’9”. 180 lbs, 60 years old. Great sense of humor, relaxed, thoughtful, professional. Photo, phone please.
And…
NY 112-099 Correctional institute inmate. Can you imagine being in a cell? Still thinking, dreaming, yearning? Connect with me! Irish, 37, wants adventurous, loyal woman. Take a chance. Write me.
Now I have your attention – or for some I have lost already – the magazine is the National Examiner – July 13, 2009. And I have no idea how it got into our house~!
Wikipedia states it best…
The National Examiner is a supermarket tabloid owned by the American Media Corporation. Like other tabloids, its contents have often come under question, and it has been derided for its sensationalistic writing.
The Examiner has the fewest pages and is the least expensive tabloid in American Media's portfolio; it aims for an older audience. While its sister publications focus on more current content (such as the National Enquirer's focus on celebrity news and Globe's political and culture stories), the Examiner focuses on longer-standing stories; stories involving Loretta Lynn and Elizabeth Taylor have been frequently featured on the Examiner's front page. Also prominently featured among the Examiner's stories are articles on daytime television, usually of dubious quality (for instance, an article on The Price Is Right published a week before the 36th season had already declared new host Drew Carey a flop and speculated the return of former host Bob Barker).
So today is Sunday. Some people are going to go to church today. They will listen to some songs and to some preaching. Most of them believe in God. But they would never buy the National Examiner… and if they did they would cover it when the preacher comes by to visit.
In retirement I have much more time to think. I am of the older age – “the older audience” as Wikipedia puts it. I need to fill my mind with better things that what the National Examiner has to offer.
Now let’s see…? Who came to visit at our home in the last while? Who may have dropped this magazine off?
Puzzling to say the least… but very, very funny. God and I had a good laugh today. Just too funny!
~ Murray Lincoln ~
http://www.murraylincoln.com/
Source:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Examiner
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