I am old, I am married, I am a grandfather, and I am a retired minister… that just watches people

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Today’s Blog Post


I am old, I am married, I am a grandfather, and I am a retired minister… that just watches people
(Apologies to regular visitors to this Blog… my Ottawa Meetings squeezed the life out of me this week… then we were part of a big wedding yesterday in Trenton, Ontario… YIKE it has been like working for a living again! Those are my excuses for not posting… ahem.)

Today’s post starts in Ottawa on the Sparks Street Mall. It was prompted by the fact that I was alone in a Big and Busy City… and basically knew no one in the places that I traveled through. My “traveling” was done by bicycling and walking – a true tourist in every way after the days meetings were done. The fact is that the ritzy Minton Suites Hotel that I stayed in was filled with people like myself from out-of-town… with nothing to do each night.

Now remember I am old. I am married and I am a grandfather. I am retired and doing almost everything I ever wanted to do – and loving every minute of it. I do not want to change a second of what is happening at this time. And when I win the lottery – one of the lotteries – I will complete the picture that I just painted for you.

Saying that I am old… is very true when I walk down the Sparks Street Mall.

For those that have never been to Ottawa, Sparks Street was once a well traveled street, one block south of Parliament Hill and very close to all the Government of Canada stuff that runs our country. It is now a shut off street where people walk, eat, shop and enjoy the sunshine each day. They come by the hundreds day and night to stroll the Mall.

As an Old Man I walked past enclosed Beer Gardens that sit in the middle of the Spark Street stroll, with the enclosures filled with young, vibrant 20 and 30 somethings. They are all engaged in “meeting someone” over a tall, cool bubbly… a huge glass of beer. Giggles and big smiles, small talk and flirting is common in the Mall area. Everyone knows each other – or is trying hard to meet someone and hook up. The place is abuzz with hormones raging… or something raging.

Now keep in mind that I am old, I am married, I am a grandfather, and I am a retired minister… that watches people.

As I walked along I had this thought… what if I was completely alone in life… say my wife was gone on to her reward… for some reason she had passed away (sorry Alida…) and I was trying to meet someone new… where would I go? What would I do? How would that happen?

It would not be Sparks Street Mall… in Ottawa… THERE IS NO ONE MY AGE! I don’t like beer and I don’t drink alcohol at all. I am not able to laugh at stupid, little, silly jokes that have no meaning – or perhaps are laced with double meaning from a world I know nothing about!

That evening I could have been walking on Mars and watching Martians celebrate or engaging their world. I mean I was way out of it!

Pause… take a deep breath… let it out slowly… now do it again…

As I walked along… I did see some one my age – or at least she looked like it… Yikes! There is no way under the clouds above that I would talk to that thing. She was old and wrinkled… was puffing on a long cigarette and wore a ton of jewellery that jingled when she moved. She had way more wrinkles that I do…and they were covered (or filled with) makeup! And she was mad as hatter as she walked along! Good Lord – get me out of this thought pattern.

Not far from that one was another one that was skinny as a rake and very hippy like… beads and bangles, flat and well worn sandals, dirty feet and many layers of flowing, loose hanging baggy clothing. She definitely was from my age and generation but… oh boy!

Looking out from my old body… I couldn’t see anything that would interest me in any way… even to talk to. My old world is pretty much old.

(Now for all the former congregants that are thinking their former minister has gone off the deep end… relax you dear folk… I am okay… I am married happily… and in love deeply… even if it is old love!!!)

It was that same day that a new item came on that described a young Ottawa man that has developed a “Smartphone dating ap”. The smartphone ap helps you to find someone that might be looking for someone, somewhere in the region that you are located at the time you open your cell phone.

And basically it allows a person to be out on the town, sitting in a club or a beer garden on Sparks Street Mall… and let your phone do the finding. It could also could happen in a church… or the shopping mall… or Denny’s Restaurant… or Timmy’s coffee shop…. Where all the Old Folk hang out.

Some of the research that I did on this “dating scene” states that many guys on this “looking for someone” routine will try 50 times and get only two responses.. working from their computer screen. But with the popular new ap… you are out and about… in the middle of a swinging place with your smartphone buzzing rapidly as the young (or old) single ladies are trying to make a connection.

It was at that moment that I began to laugh out loud. I nearly lost it entirely. That is too funny… the thought that popped into my mind…

An old guy like me… sitting in Tim Horton’s coffee shop.. holding my smartphone anxiously… waiting for another old, single person to buzz me… and possibly do a hook up…. Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ho Ho Ho Ha – too funny! Way too funny!

Now the other alternative does exist… as I stood on the Spark Street Mall… and then began to speak to the apparently single lady… She would snap at me… “Sorry don’t bother me… there is a Homeless Shelter two streets over sir… they are serving dinner right about now..”

Am I ever glad that I am old, I am married, I am a grandfather, and I am a retired minister… that just watches people!

~ Murray Lincoln ~
http://www.murraylincoln.com/