Stress and the way it nearly killed me

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Today’s Blog Post


Stress and the way it nearly killed me

It is a long story how I discovered my old notes while looking for a part to install my new trailer hitch on my newer vehicle…

It kind of happened because of a previous time of stress… and acting under stress I wasn’t thinking too clearly. In a hurry and under great stress – I stashed an extra box of books right where I would be able to deal with it when I had time.

In three years of dealing with the new stress in my life, I forgot about the box.

This last Saturday I pulled the box out and asked my self… “Where did that come from… I wonder what is in it?”

‘Myself and I’ had a great time looking at my old friends in the box… some of my old books. In fact I really enjoyed it because under the stress that I had entered three years ago I had dumped or got rid of all my old friends – my old books.

There in the box was a wonderful set of notes that I had treasured when I wrote them. They were created in 1996… two years before another very stressful time in my life would begin and that would last for 10 years.

As I thumbed through my notes and read what was on each page I was rocked by waves of emotions. The waves came almost like the Tsunami waves that destroy some many lives over and over again. But unlike waves of sea water sweeping ashore… this was emotional waves of human conflict that lasted for 10 years of my life.

As I look back now I wonder how I survived 10 solid years of this stress.

Then following this 10 years another solid 3 years filled with emotional stress waves again. A totally different kind of stress – but stress just the same.

Now if you haven’t already figured out what I am writing about – I should explain. I am an Ordained Minister – the church kind – that has been serving in this role for the previous 34 years of my life in 2008. In 1998 I became the Pastor of the last church that I would serve – Northview in Peterborough. In 2008 I entered the new retirement role as I left the role of Pastor/Minister/Leader in the church.

A note on the Notes…
As I read through the 1996 notes I was struck by the one page. It leaped out at me… grabbed me by the shirt and shook me hard. Then it made my eyes pop out. The page was all about Stress and what it does to you. How it affects your life and changes your perspective… and can hurt your physical body, emotional health and well being.

I was stunned as I went over these 15 year old notes. The information in front of me was as if it had been written this past week.

I now understood as never before what this was all about. It was as if I could be the ‘poster boy’ for the topic I was reading!

I went to my Browser and typed in the words “Life Change Units” – the topic heading for the page written in 1996.

WOW! There on my screen 15 years later was exactly the same information that my notes contained!!!

It was a list of words describing things that happen in a person’s life… and a number beside it showing the estimated stress factor out of 100… or perhaps I should say up to 100… the highest number shown.

Here is the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale…
Life event – Life Change Units
Death of a spouse - 100
Divorce - 73
Marital separation - 65
Imprisonment - 63
Death of a close family member - 63
Personal injury or illness - 53
Marriage - 50
Dismissal from work - 47
Marital reconciliation - 45
Retirement - 45
Change in health of family member - 44
Pregnancy - 40
Sexual difficulties - 39
Gain a new family member - 39
Business readjustment - 39
Change in financial state - 38
Death of a close friend - 37
Change to different line of work - 36
Change in frequency of arguments - 35
Major mortgage - 32
Foreclosure of mortgage or loan - 30
Change in responsibilities at work - 29
Child leaving home - 29
Trouble with in-laws - 29
Outstanding personal achievement - 28
Spouse starts or stops work - 26
Begin or end school - 26
Change in living conditions - 25
Revision of personal habits - 24
Trouble with boss - 23
Change in working hours or conditions - 20
Change in residence - 20
Change in schools - 20
Change in recreation - 19
Change in church activities - 19
Change in social activities - 18
Minor mortgage or loan - 17
Change in sleeping habits - 16
Change in number of family reunions - 15
Change in eating habits - 15
Vacation - 13
Christmas - 12
Minor violation of law - 11

How do you use this list? What does it mean?

To measure stress according to the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale, the number of "Life Change Units" that apply to events in the past year of an individual's life are added and the final score will give a rough estimate of how stress affects health.
Score of 300+: At risk of illness.
Score of 150-299+: Risk of illness is moderate. (reduced by 30% from the above risk)
Score 150-: Slight risk of illness.

I did it… for the past year… and I should be sick.

I did it for the past 3 years and I should be in the hospital.

I did it for the past 13 years and I should rightfully be DEAD!

Now… further… for those that read this and have Non-Adult people living with them(we call them children) – here is a list that should shake you and add one more stress to your list…
Getting married - 95
Unwed pregnancy - 100
Death of parent - 100
Acquiring a visible deformity - 80
Divorce of parents - 90
Fathering an unwed pregnancy - 70
Jail sentence of parent for over one year - 70
Marital separation of parents - 69
Death of a brother or sister - 68
Change in acceptance by peers - 67
Pregnancy of unwed sister - 64
Discovery of being an adopted child - 63
Marriage of parent to stepparent - 63
Death of a close friend - 63
Having a visible congenital deformity - 62
Serious illness requiring hospitalization - 58
Failure of a grade in school - 56
Not making an extracurricular activity - 55
Hospitalization of a parent - 55
Jail sentence of parent for over 30 days - 53
Breaking up with boyfriend or girlfriend - 53
Beginning to date - 51
Suspension from school - 50
Becoming involved with drugs or alcohol - 50
Birth of a brother or sister - 50
Increase in arguments between parents - 47
Loss of job by parent - 46
Outstanding personal achievement - 46
Change in parent's financial status - 45
Accepted at college of choice - 43
Being a senior in high school - 42
Hospitalization of a sibling - 41
Increased absence of parent from home - 38
Brother or sister leaving home - 37
Addition of third adult to family - 34
Becoming a full fledged member of a church - 31
Decrease in arguments between parents - 27
Decrease in arguments with parents - 26
Mother or father beginning work - 26
The same rating applies here..
Score of 300+: At risk of illness.
Score of 150-299+: Risk of illness is moderate. (reduced by 30% from the above risk)
Score 150-: Slight risk of illness.

Sheesh! Now I hope you can have real good day! No stress here! Nope! I am off to the gym.. then home to do some work on my Income Tax submissions.

~ Murray Lincoln ~
http://www.murraylincoln.com/  

Resource
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holmes_and_Rahe_stress_scale
http://www.carolinasmedicalcenter.org/body.cfm?id=1523
http://www.harvestenterprises-sra.com/The%20Holmes-Rahe%20Scale.htm
http://www.eruptingmind.com/stress-conflict-in-psychology/