From the Desk of Murray Lincoln: Three days of 90th Birthday Celebrations Marion Nell Lincoln

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Today’s Blog Post

Three days of 90th Birthday Celebrations Marion Nell Lincoln

We began planning weeks in advance of the big day, January 28, 2011. We began by wondering what in the world do you do for a 90 year old birthday. That 90 years old person is my Mom, Marion Nell Lincoln.

I couldn’t afford to fly her two sisters and one brother to Ontario. And mom couldn’t take the long airplane ride to Saskatchewan either. On top of that January is not the best month to travel anywhere – except south.

Then there was the problem of all the grandkids and great grandkids that are strung out like pearls across Canada now… how could they take the time to get to where she was? It was an impossible, logistical, Nightmare.

It was then that the idea struck me… “Why not have an Internet Party for Mom? Why not use Facebook and Email to bring everyone together?" Because 99% of all the Grandkids are connected through these modes of communication, they could all come to the party with their greetings. Further to that her two sisters and brother are also e-Connected – even at their age! And as I would find out later many of Mom’s OLD Friends are e-Connected as well!

But I have to back up a bit before telling you the whole story.

There were three parties for Mom and each was filled with good food.

Number one - there was a Thursday Party at Royal Gardens where Mom volunteers with the Old Folk. I’ll explain that Old part in a minute. That happens in the afternoon from 2 – 4 PM at the New Friends Group.

Number two – there was the Birthday Lunch for Marion Nell Lincoln with her granddaughter Dana and her daughter-in-law Alida – and a ton of phone calls that day from all over the country.

Number three – there was the bigger party at the South China Buffet in Peterborough where more friends gathered to wish her well and a Happy Birthday. The food was amazing – as you will see…

Why three parties… well they are so much fun that we decided to do it up a little bigger! On her 100th Birthday we are planning for one full week long party! That one will be really big!

With the Cup Cake Cake - not enough room for 90 candels!

Number one party – Royal Gardens
Royal Gardens is a very, very nice senior’s residence where the rent and the luxury is a wee bit higher than the normal, ordinary senior’s home that I would/will likely live in. I mean this place is NICE!

In 2009 I approached the Activity Staff with my new idea. My Mom was new to the community and many of the Seniors in this home were new as well. What would they think of bringing the residents that have lived there a few years together with new folk just moving in… and call the Group – New Friends?

They loved the idea!

It was an immediate success from the first day onward. The regular members meet each week with me for two hours. The first hour is a talk time over a multitude of issues and items that they are interested in. From news reports of Elephants walking down the streets in Bangkok Thailand, to the changes in local Government, to their wedding plans 8 decades ago. You name it we have talked about it.

New folk sometimes just sit and listen to others talk. Other new folk talk all the time out of their loneliness. Now one has listened to their ideas for so long that it just feels good to talk it out.

On Thursday. January 27, 2011 we had a ball!

I introduced a New Game that I have invented for them. It is called “10-20-30-40-50-60-70-80-90”. How is that for an original name?!?

The game is quite simple. Beginning on my left, each person gets a number. The first person is 10, the next is 20 and so on. When you get to 90 – the next person is 10 again.

Number 10 begins by telling what they were doing at 10 years of age, where they lived, what the family was doing, what their dad was working at – etc. Then Number 20 goes next… their task is to tell their story when they were 20 years old. And so on with each person telling a story or more.

After we reached the top number we then shifted the Numbers for each person. Number 10 became Number 20 and so on. Each Person jumped 10 years forward in their life.

The rules that guide this game insist on speaking, trying to remember and laughing a lot!

One hour whizzed by in a heart beat and they loved the Game. “10-20-30-40-50-60-70-80-90” is now declared a Winner! And we will do it again.

At the beginning there was some groaning as they stated out loud, “I can’t remember back that far!”

At the end, they were amazed at what they remembered with a little coaching(by me as I did the Investigator’s quizzing thing). There was genuine appreciation for the mental exercise they just did.

We moved over to the beautiful coffee shop for the last part, Mom’s Birthday Cup cakes… and the party. They love the party idea.

One lady asked Mom how old she was. When Mom told her that she was 90, the lady exclaimed, “You are just a kid! We are all over 90!” And she was right. That day every one there was between 91 and 97! Mom was the youngest! And they are all spry and aware of everything that goes on!!!

But none were 90 or older – they were all somewhere between “10-20-30-40-50-60-70-80-90”.

With Granddaughter Dana

Number two party – “Parkhill on Hunter” Restaurant
I didn’t get to this one on Friday – I was not invited. It was an all girls thing. Dana graciously took her Mom and her GrandMom out for lunch.

This restaurant is a wonderful place that everyone raves about.

My Mom still loves to be pampered… as all girls do.

Personally, a bagel at a donut shop is a High Point for me… it has wheel chair parking and the price is right. Hey I am practical – what more needs to be said.

Rearranged Flowers from the Funeral Home – after the Funeral that day are just great – to decorate your table with. Buy new Flowers – not likely!

So going out to a nice restaurant just makes me kind of uncomfortable. I can’t eat and enjoy it when I know the cotton pickin’ bill will be half a monthly car payment! But my Wife, Daughter and Mother love it – and leave me home so I am not uncomfortable! Yes! Thank you for the freedom!

With her Tierra - Queen Marion Nell the First

Number three party – the South China Buffet

Now this is a place I can enjoy… the food is something else! So on Saturday we made this the Birthday Palace!

A party is about getting together to celebrate a life. And yesterday 14 of us did just that for Mom. It was a smaller party than some others expected… but then it included all the people that Mom knows well.

The Buffet is amazing to say the least. The food is outstanding! And the staff is super with service and involvement with their customers. Each of the staff were born in China. Many struggled with their English. And they are all happy to help you.

The afternoon was topped off by two the gals coming with a specially prepared Birthday plate made just for Mom. And the young ladies sung Happy Birthday to Mom in English as we all joined in.

Mom wore her specially purchased Tierra for that day. After all she is our queen or princess – whatever she wants to be.

It was during this meal that I gave Mom her special gift, a Life Book that was designed and composed entirely by her friends and family from all over the world.

Remember how I told you that I invited friends to e-Connect with me about her.

Greetings poured in from all over the place by facebook and email. I then copied them into page after page, that were inserted into a beautiful red book. Along with that Photos and cards came via the internet as well.

The Life Book is over 50 pages in length and still growing. More greetings kept coming after we had the book wrapped as a present.

Later at home I asked Mom if she had read the book yet. She told me, “I have read it two times and started the third time now. And I cried a lot.”

The stories poured in from everyone telling how Mom had been an instrument to help them when they most needed it. Some stories related how she was the one that had helped facilitate the meeting of their spouse. Others told of having so much fun every time they came to her big old house… of her continual hospitality and the gracious of her giving. Mom is very generous of everything thing she has and always has been!!! Every note testified of that.

This post is way too long – I know! But how else do you write about a 90 year old?

I told one of my friends that this was so much more fun celebrating her life when she is alive. Too many time families only do this after their Mom is gone.

In this celebration Mom was with us in every way! She was not just with us in “spirit” or our memories.

When the time comes for Mom to be promoted, the new red Life Book will be at that celebration too. The cool part is that the Homework that I will need to do for that celebration is all done now!

Thank you to everyone that helped me with this. In a short while I hope to have the e-Life Book made and I will send it out to everyone that wants to read it.

~ Murray Lincoln ~
http://www.murraylincoln.com/