The Flood of Memories Reaching back a Long Ways

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Today’s Blog Post


The Flood of Memories Reaching back a Long Ways

At 90 years old she sits in her room reading, hour after hour. In the dead cold of January and with body parts that complains a lot with movement, she enjoys sitting still in her rocking chair. When books are complete she watches her TV.

She does get out for walks in the Mall a few times during the week. Some of the walking is now relegated to Tim Horton’s coffee and sitting at the edge of the Food Court alone and watching people. But getting to the Mall is almost all the exercise that she needs. Get the coat on, out the door pushing her walker in snow, climbing in and out of the car, and then through the large Mall doors – is almost enough.

I am sad some days as I watch her. She has few friends in our city. Even after 90 years of age she is still “friendless” for the most part. Oh she has a few nice acquaintances from her church, people that call her if they want her to fill the seats at the senior’s functions, but other than that they are too busy with their own doctor’s appointments etc.

She is not 90 in this community, she is only four years old. She arrived in early April 2007 from her home in Saskatchewan when she was 87 years old. All the people her age had their own friends and group of friends. She didn’t fit into any of their plans. When they went to restaurants on Sunday with their group – she went home with us. Now with a walker she is too embarrassed to bother anyone else with the problem of lifting it in and out of their cars.

For a while I suspected that she was kind of shelved and left out because of who her son was, the minister in the church. Then I became more realistic about it – she didn’t know anyone’s stories from the past. She didn’t fit into their groups.

If you think of a High School that has been in the community for years. The students in the School have attended school with each other since they were in Kindergarten. Now 10 or 11 years later, they have formed their own groups, they are dating, they are playing their sports, they are connected. Then one day a new girl walks into the class and takes a seat near the back. Everyone looks at her but doesn’t speak to her. Some say “Hi” but few know what to say to the stranger.

The feelings at that entrance point to the new society are overwhelming to say the least. For this 87 year old, now 90, it was the very same. She couldn’t have been more of an outsider nor felt more like that.

The 90 year old loves calls from “home”. She has two sisters and a brother still alive. The other four siblings have passed away earlier in her life. These three call and that means more than you can imagine.

There are a few in rest of the family that do call… but most are too busy.

For some of you that are closer to me – you will know that I am writing about my mom. Tomorrow she will be 90 years old. It is the big birthday. Most people will be lucky reaching their Ninth Decade. My mom has done that.

We will stay home so the grandkids and the other relatives could call her. She needs all her western family… but they are so very far away.

In getting ready for this big day I asked her friends and almost all her relatives to write a greeting and maybe a short story about their connection with her over all these years. The response has been amazing. At this moment there are 22 pages and more are coming as people remember my request.

She will get the Booklet of Greetings on Saturday as we meet a few friends for lunch. I can’t wait to let her see it.

One of her very creative Grandsons made a video just for her with a greeting from his brand new son… who mom has only seen photos of. Mind you little Alex is more interested in watching the Hockey game on TV than the Video Camera. It should be fun watching her watch the video.

Do I regret bringing my mom to our city and taking her so far from her home…? Kind of I guess. But if I hadn’t taken the step she would not likely have reached the 90th year. Her doctor told me in 2009 that we had to do something… we just had to.

Every Tuesday morning she now meets with her new friends at a special seniors activity center.

Every Thursday she is with me as we meet with a great group of senior’s, at a very fancy Senior’s Home, where we meet with our “New Friends Group”. There are a number of Seniors in this Home that have been brought here from across Canada to live in a beautiful place – closer to their children that can’t come to see them in Manitoba or Alberta or B.C.

Today we are having fancy cup cakes with roses on top for her surprise party. These folks have really taken to her. Laughter is a big part of this group for sure. No Bible studies only interaction for two hours together.

As I read over all the stories I cried in the Booklet I have prepared. They are beautiful and so full of love. They tell of a young woman that touched hundred of lives and had her home always open to whoever came along. That was my mom and that is my mom now!

I can’t wait to give her the Booklet.

Gotta run.. some things to do before I get my breakfast ready with my mom.

~ Murray Lincoln ~
http://www.murraylincoln.com/

PS - Today this is the Eight Hundred and NINETIETH posting to my Blog! Wahoo!