Retirement – Realizing the Difference

Misty Hollow Carving
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Today’s Blog Post


Retirement – Realizing the Difference

Two years have passed very quickly – yet at times I wondered if I would make it through to the next step.

Fear was a big part of life two years ago right now. Fear that I would lose all that I had worked so hard for and worked in. Fear that I would be forgotten and tossed aside. Fear was pretty much part of who I was and how I lived each day… and that made things in my life “uptight” to say the least.

I was 64 years old in 2008, had been let go from the church that I was pastoring for the previous 10 years, was on Employment Insurance (E.I. in Canada), starting a New Business(Misty Hollow Wood Carving and also a New Ministry (Ontario Provincial Chaplaincy)

This past week I have been reflecting back on these two years and smiling with the changes that have taken place. Actually more than a smile – it has been down right funny at times.

For you that don’t know me, I am a minister and have served the church for 36 years at the time of my retirement. I began that leg of my journey in 1972… so long ago. For 36 years I gave my best to the church and then saved a wee bit for my wife and family on the side.

When the end of June 2008 arrived I was walking away from 36 years of constantly caring for others. I tried to leave behind the need of being needed. Yet as I walked out from all of it I was fearful that I would no longer be needed. In one way I desperately needed to be free of the previous 10 years of Pastoral Ministry… the pressure… the lack of finances and weight of financial pressures of the church… and the heavy stuff of people problems that existed in the church community… problems that were not mine but rather theirs that were made into mine.

If that last paragraph is muddled and twisted with far too many ideas in one long sentence… you have caught the idea of what it is to be me for 36 years. In fact life was so muddled and twisted at times that a sentence that might be ten miles long would not cover the total of what we were facing… and had faced.

It took months to realise that I had become addicted to the pressure and the problems. I thrived on that emergency call with a real crisis someone else was having… and delivering to me… to help find an answer. Over and over again I was drawn into and kept into the tight space of people problems. It was good to help… it was important to help and it was impossible to not help… in fact helping was all that I did… I needed to help… I needed to be needed….

In a 2009 meeting I was introduced to a group of folk involved in business.

We each had to sum up what we had done and who we were as we came into the meeting that day.

I quickly summed up my position at that moment with simple but powerful words… it was a confession… it was painful to say it out loud and it caused a mixture of laughter and scowls from the small audience that I was part of.

I stood to my feet and in a shaky voice I stated, “Hi my name is Murray Lincoln and I am a ‘Recovering Minister’.”

I proceeded to tell a bit about my present journey in building my Wood Carving Business of ‘Misty Hollow Carving’.

Some of the folk came to me and stated at the coffee break, “You sound like an Alcoholic in my AA Group…”

I smiled and nodded affirmation.

Another person that was there, with a strong church background, scolded me for saying such a thing in a non-church setting… giving people the wrong idea about ‘faith groups’. That person had no idea of what I had lived through for 36 years of ‘ministry’.

I could say way more at this point but it may well be pages from my book that I am giving away … and then you wouldn’t buy the book when it comes out.

Over this past week I smiled a huge amount as I thought back of last Sunday – when the “Presbyterianization of the Pentecostal” was attempted… being someone that I am not nor do I want to be. I wrote about that a few days ago. Too funny!

It has been months since that last time I ‘ministered’ in a Pentecostal church. I used to fear this might happen… now it is okay. I smiled. I don’t need the pressure and the internal stuff that takes place when you lead them. I smiled when I realized the weight is gone – for the need to be needed…

Opportunities have come in unique ways… new things that I have not thought about… in fact way too many things that are now coming into light.

This next week I will place my First Hand Carved Maple Leaf into the hands of neat couple that are taking it back to Holland with them. They were thrilled to find me… traveled a long way to Peterborough after some one gave them one of my Misty Hollow Carving pamphlets. They just had to have one of the carved leaves. They had been to many places in the world but had never seen something like my leaves! And the cost was not a problem!

Another Millionaire Type Person… in fact he is worth way more than that is now speaking with me about a series of carvings… because he has never seen anything like this before… and he and she must have more of them. Yikes.

Another person contracted me to do another series of cartoon illustrations that needed to be done – last week… That is a whole new avenue that I never considered as a possibility of “real money”. In the past I have done cartooning for a source of income in tough times of pastoral work!

The local Festival of Trees, fund raising effort for the Hospital and medical efforts in our community along with Hospice, became a part of my life as well. At the end of November there will be a Christmas Tree decorated by ‘Misty Hollow Carving” – covered with Tatting (a beautiful lace) and Wood Carvings. The organizers are thrilled with what they have seen so far… and wondered why I haven’t done something before this. “Where have you been with these talents?” was one question I was asked.

I didn’t dare share too much about being a “Recovering Minister” in that setting… because they want to know more why I say this… ahem!

My friend Marion gave another friend of hers my name. That person is involved with a new radio station beginning in our city this next week or so. They are looking for Radio Show Hosts. And Marion’s friend called to ask if I was interested. Oh boy.

Over the years my time in radio was a thrill that I had kind of forgotten. Having done radio voice stuff in Toronto and London, Ont.; Yorkton, Saskatchewan; and the biggest one from Hong Kong to the whole of South East Asia… with the Far East Broadcasting… I love radio!

Who knows… it may happen again. I had the bug… but never thought that it would ever be part of my life again. Thanks Marion.

The Ontario Provincial Chaplaincy that began quietly in the Fall of 2008 has grown more still. I need more help to do what needs to be done. The folk that I minister to are so appreciative. Each time I am contacted or make contact the thankfulness from the MPPs of Ontario and their staff is my full payment.

I could go on… and on. I am now needed again… but in a new and healthy way. When there is grumbling in a committee meeting I can smile and say no thank you. I can walk away from nonsense.

There is more to tell… but perhaps that is enough to let you see the changes that have taken place.

In Canada it is our Thanksgiving Weekend. And with it I can say how thankful I am for being where I am and who I am. The difference now in my life… is so great that I can hardly explain it all.

If you have time for coffee some day… I can tell you more… way more!

Gotta run. Two grandsons are getting up. We are headed to the Farmer’s Market first then off to our Granddaughter’s football game. No pressure today… no sermon tomorrow… no people hunting me down with the heavy stuff… Life is so good!

~ Murray Lincoln ~
http://www.murraylincoln.com/