The Rite of Passage – the New Learner’s License

Misty Hollow Carving
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Today’s Blog Post


The Rite of Passage – the New Learner’s License
The telephone message arrived this past week. It was my daughter announcing a very important, life changing moment in their life and mine. She said, “There is a new Driver in our household as of today! Talk to you later!”

When we heard the message my wife looked at me and said, “Good for Clifford!” Our oldest Grandson had written his first Driver’s Test.

I looked at her and thought, “We can’t be that old!”

There is a “rite of passage” when a young man arrives at that special moment, the passing of his driver’s exam. That moment when he can find new freedom, and begin the process of learning how to drive away into the sunset – all by himself.

Well he can’t quite drive all by himself yet. He has just written the driving test and identified all the signs that will be posted beside the roadways and highways. He now has his learner’s license.

Now remembering that he has just passed his written exam about three days prior to his arrival at our home yesterday afternoon… the next turn of events that transpired will help you to see my growing anxiety and the reason that my right foot was at times pressing hard on the floor boards of the old car last night. And it may also be why I didn’t sleep as sound last night either.

Grandpa Lincoln went for his first ride with his Grandson last evening. Grandpa also entered his latest “rite of passage” as well.

As we ate dinner last evening Grandma Alida in her kind and caring way for her grandson questioned him about the driver’s exam. Clifford grinned and explained that he had achieved 100% on the first writing of this test… but the other 16 year old girl sitting near him had tried three times and had failed miserably. Grandma listened closely.

Then Grandma suggested something so radical and far out there that Grandpa almost fell off his chair. “Maybe you can take Grandpa for a ride tonight and practice driving?”

“Okay woman. Why me? Why not you? Why Grandpa? Is this a special bonding thing you want me to try out with Clifford?”

Now I couldn’t say all that out loud in front of my Grandson Clifford… but I could think it.

And being the macho man that I am, I would never let anyone see my fear factor at that moment Grandma had made this outlandish suggestion. To put Grandpa, her loving husband of all these years, in a loaded vehicle with their first born Grandchild and let them go – seems well a little harsh wouldn’t you think?

At about 8 PM I looked at my Grandson and said, “Let’s go Clifford.”

“Am I driving?” he asked.

“You betcha. Let’s go.” I said with a feigned pride… or was that frightened pride?

That walk from our house to the vehicle was strange to say the least. I felt it deeply. I crossed the driveway heading to the car. Instead of going to the right and entering the driver’s side… I hesitated and then turned to the passenger’s side. Clifford was around the car in a bound, plunking himself behind the steering wheel and then doing up his seat belt. I then opened the passenger door and slid in.

He looked at me and asked, “Which way are we going?” I indicated north and said “To your house.”

As we pulled out I thought – he has never driven home before that I know of – will we get lost? Oh Boy!

Two hours later at 10 PM we returned home. We had covered close to 50 kilometers and almost every side street, stopping and starting with great care. We had driven around and around blocks, negotiated some of the most dangerous intersections in our city… and survived very well.

My Grandson is an excellent driver. He is really good!

The “Rite of Passage” is real. I know it very well. 51 years ago right about this week I took my Grandpa Kirkpatrick for a ride out from his farm in southern Saskatchewan. He had looked at me and said, “I have to go to town to get some things. Would you like to drive me?” I had my learner’s license too. I was sixteen and beaming from ear to ear as I wheeled that old Mercury out on to the country road. The road was straight and only a few miles of driving to town and back. I proved myself that day to Grandpa and me. I could do it.

Last night as we hopped out of the car, Clifford turned to me and said, “Thanks Grandpa.” I beamed.

I have a photo that was taken on me about 15 years ago. I was cleaning some windows for my daughter in their first home. I was standing on a chair. There in front of me was a little curly headed boy with is rag in his hand cleaning the glass at his level. It was not posed. He had climbed up there to help when he saw what Grandpa was doing.

Gulp… my Grandson has grown up. Oh Boy! But I have four more that are coming right behind this one… and I can’t wait.

~ Murray Lincoln ~
http://www.murraylincoln.com/ 

Clifford Lindsay - 2010 - 2011 School Photo

Grandpa Lincoln and Clifford cleaning windows - 15 years ago

The story which is delicious, sweet, fulfilling and ripe

Misty Hollow Carving
This BLOG is sponsored by “Misty Hollow Carving”. You are welcome to visit Misty Hollow and see all of my carvings.

My Web Site is a like a Gallery – please drop in for a stroll through.

To help me promote my Web Site please copy this URL address and email to someone today http://www.murraylincoln.com/ 

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Today’s Blog Post

The story which is delicious, sweet, fulfilling and ripe

My wife looked at me as she popped a Ripe Red Berry in her mouth and said, “This is so much fun... just you and me picking together! I wish we could have done more of this over all these years. Picking alone isn’t near as much fun.”

Alida had stated an obvious fact. All these years I have been too busy with serving others, worrying about others, and always with others. Now in retirement we have time together. No hurry – no rush – just us together.

I know that some day in the future some of these photos will be on a large magnetic board at a Funeral Home somewhere. One of us will be telling others how much fun we had that day. Our date that we so loved so much on that warm summer day… I hope that isn’t too soon… I want more warm and long summer days with my Bride of so many years.

The Strawberry fields were forever and so were the Raspberry patch. This a big place just north of where we live. After you park the vehicle another vehicle takes you out to the field, a tractor pulling a wagon.

I will let the photos tell you the rest of the story… which is delicious… sweet… fulfilling and ripe. Hey that sounds like our marriage for the last 44 years!

Enjoy the Photos!

~ Murray Lincoln ~
http://www.murraylincoln.com/ 

Post Traumatic Stress is real – the Soldiers need help

Misty Hollow Carving
This BLOG is sponsored by “Misty Hollow Carving”. You are welcome to visit Misty Hollow and see all of my carvings.

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Today’s Blog Post


Post Traumatic Stress is real – the Soldiers need help
When I head the stat on the TV Program last night I thought I didn’t hear right… and then they gave more and more stats. They came so fast and I was so bowled over by what was being said… I was dumbfounded and never wrote any of it down.

What was it all about?

Soldiers coming back from the Wars they fight in are dieing at home. No it is not an enemy bullet or bomb… but rather an “internal bomb”. They are committing suicide. They can’t take what happened to them and what is happening around them. They can’t cope with everyday life… and find only one way out. Death is their answer.

I doubt that anyone reading this Blog has ever killed anyone… or watched the man that they had their sights on suddenly real backward, his head in bits and pieces and his body kicking slightly – after you pulled the trigger.

The horror of taking another human’s life lives with the killer for years to come – maybe even a lifetime. But everyone looks at the killer – and sees no problems with him or her. In fact they pretty much look like us in everyway. But you cannot see Pain and Memories that will never go away.

I have talked to killers. They related what happened when the life juice ebbed out of the person in front of them. They never get over it. I have talked to soldiers and they cannot talk about it.

The difference between soldiers and killers is one basic thing. The killer had intent and was for the most part very different than the rest of society.

The soldier was one of us until he was propelled overseas and placed where he would watch day and night for the possibility of himself possibly being cut down by a bullet of bomb.

The soldier is always looking over his shoulder and wondering if the next child, the next woman, the next man might be his assassin. He is on guard all the time… and cannot sleep well… or escape what is about to happen to him.

Some of the stats that I have heard are from the USA. Someone tracked the fact that 53,000 men died in Vietnam and 102,000 killed themselves afterwards at home in the Good Ole USA! That was the stat on the TV last night that shocked me

The USA, Britton and other places have produced stats… but my country won’t and has yet to say anything at all.

It seems to be that Canada won’t or doesn’t take responsibility after the guy or gal is jettisoned out of the armed services. It is their problem not the armed services problem.

Post Traumatic Stress – PTS – takes most of their lives. And the fact that not much is done for them after they return – allows the PTS take its victim.

This week sons, daughters, dads and moms will start coming home from Afghanistan. Our part in the conflict is over. We are done with it all – hopefully no more young folk will be killed.

But PTS will start its ravages now. Marriages that are already strained will start to fall apart. Alcohol and drugs will take more unsuspecting victims closer to the edge and then when there is no hope left – the victim will blow out their brains… or jump from a high place.

How do I know that? Well it is happening every day now. In the USA there are 18 men every day killing themselves. They can’t take it any more. Their top soldiers and even their politicians are telling us that.

Canadian Politicians simply say nothing. They are either so naïve – or maybe just don’t care. Or maybe they are just plain stupid. So stupid that they chose not to care or provide for these men that have given so much… and have seen way too much. I hope they just don’t understand… oh I hope so much that is the case.

Guys and Gals – I know hat PTS is real and that it has affected you deeply. I have friends that are now traversing this mine field of emotions with PTS hounding their everymove.

Hang in there. We love you and understand. We will support you in everyway that we can… and we will try to get you help.

~ Murray Lincoln ~
http://www.murraylincoln.com/ 

Grandpa and Picking Up Chicks

Misty Hollow Carving
This BLOG is sponsored by “Misty Hollow Carving”. You are welcome to visit Misty Hollow and see all of my carvings.

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Today’s Blog Post


Grandpa and Picking Up Chicks
I sputtered when I heard the small voice in the back seat ask his question.

“Grandma, where did you find Grandpa?”

Needless to say, Grandma asked him to say it again. I could tell she was just about splitting herself holding back her laughter. And I knew I would not hear the end of this small question.

The asker of the most important question of all times is Christopher Rourke, our youngest grandson. He is 9 years old now and will be 10 in October.

Grandma then had Christopher ask me the question again as we drove along the highway back to his home. I had to have an answer without telling too much. Oh boy how much do you say to your inquisitive grandson.

Now to get the setting right, Christopher’s oldest brother, Jonathan, was sitting beside me in the front seat. He is 15, about 5 foot, 10 inches and a sharp looking teenager that is kind and capable. Christopher’s second oldest brother, Thomas, was sitting on the other side of Grandma and listening to Christopher’s interrogation.

So with a deep breath I stated that when Grandma and Grandpa met I was covered with something sticky like epoxy glue and Grandma couldn’t get rid of me. That smart enough answer had Jonathan and Thomas laughing and Christopher listening for what might come next. I mean he had a very serious question that he was intending to get answered.

So in a very short, thumb nail version I told the boys my side of the story. Grandpa had found Grandma.

I was 18 years old. I was at a church’s youth function and had come out of the church with another friend. Another friend, Harry, pulled up in front of the church with his dad’s car and asked us a question. “Which one of you guys want a date tonight? I am going over to see if I can pick up a girl... but she won’t go without her friend. Which one of you will help me out?”

Standing at the side of the car we looked at each other. My friend Gord said, “I can’t. My dad said I had to get the car home early.”

So I looked at Harry and shrugged, “Okay I’ll go along, I’ve got nothing to do.”

I hopped in and we headed to the service station where Alida and Loreen were building their parade float. (The girls were playground supervisors that worked with children – and were preparing a float for the city parade.)

When we arrived Alida was trying to make a face for Zorro’s Horse. It actually looked like a Donkey, which she didn’t appreciate when I told her so. I made the face look better. We finished the task and the girls agreed to go out for a Coke.

That was 49 years ago in the next few weeks. Oh Boy!

The grandsons were stone still as they listened to this bit of history that Grandpa had never talked about yet. I knew there were going to be problems now… I had opened the magic box of all that I haven’t told them yet… or that their own mother’s (our daughters) have threatened me not to talk about (well at least some of it).

I stopped talking and then the little voice asked another question.

“Grandma, did you date anyone other than Grandpa?” the little voice asked.

Grandma answered, “No. Grandpa was my first boyfriend.” Then there was a pause. Everyone was listening closely now as we hummed along the highway. It was that pause that nearly kills you. What is coming next?

Grandma, being wiser, asked him, “Why did you ask Christopher?”

The small voice simply said in a rather not so confident way, “Well I have lots of girls that like me. One of them wants to be my girlfriend and she wants to go out sometime on a date.”

I held my smart answers or replies back… and Grandma told him, “Why don’t you tell the girl, ‘Thank you’, but I just want to be friends.”

“Okay…” he replied… and nodded his head in agreement.

I was sweating a little at this point. Jonathan was quiet and so was Thomas. They knew it was Grandpa’s turn to confess.

God… I don’t like the pause…

I changed the radio station and found some more interviews on the CBC. Ahem!

Okay. Okay. I had a few girlfriends. And some of them were… well… kind of like “Pick Ups”. I don’t remember any of their names… honest. It was what we did when we were that age. We drove around trying to ‘Pick Up Chicks’. And you could. That’s all. Stop there.

Gas was cheaper then than now. And there was always a buddy that would go along with you.

Gord was our best man at our wedding. I was 23 years old and Alida was 21 (almost). Harry never married until he was in his mid thirties.

In a few weeks time we have to pick up the Grandsons again for more time at our home.

Jonathan had grinned at me… and the silence… and said, “I want to know more.”

Oh boy… I have a few weeks. But what do I tell them and what DON’T I TELL THEM?”

~ Murray Lincoln ~
http://www.murraylincoln.com/ 

Three Grandsons Jonathan, Christopher and Thomas

and this is Christopher...hat and costume are part of his Lang Pioneer Village experience

Come on RETIRE – just do it!

Misty Hollow Carving
This BLOG is sponsored by “Misty Hollow Carving”. You are welcome to visit Misty Hollow and see all of my carvings.

My Web Site is a like a Gallery – please drop in for a stroll through.

To help me promote my Web Site please copy this URL address and email to someone today http://www.murraylincoln.com/ 

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Come on RETIRE – just do it!
As I reflect on each day as they whiz by now… it has been amazing to see the variety of things that I am doing now.

That is a good word to describe this retirement mode now… variety.

In one week’s time I have completed about 24 hours of volunteering. I have been able to make some great business connections and then I was paid well for a two jobs that I was able to complete.

In the old days…
My “working career” included world travel and world work outside of Canada. And then it included many years of working in a variety of positions and places within Canada. I have had almost 40 years of a jammed and packed working career that is so exciting I can hardly explain it to you. It has been good.

When facing that last few years of work I was looking forward to leaving what I was doing. I actually started counting the days of time I had left at work before I would turn the magic age of Canadian Retirement – 65 years old.

Yet inside I knew that I had far too much left to do. I had energy that was bubbling over… and I knew that I wasn’t done yet.

At the end of June 2008 the fateful day happened – the “Good Bye Murray Day” and we were out of there. Bam. Boom. I was no longer needed in that place.

I struggled internally with the nothingness that came sweeping in like the ocean’s wave… sweeping away all that I had done for all those years.

The problem was that the last years had been very hard at the work place. There had been unhappy customers, angry customers to deal with and plain ornery old folk that unless you did it their way… you could start looking at the highway. Add to that the financial situation of the business was not good. Circumstances surrounding the business, the climate of the business world, apathy for the product and a host of other things were surrounding our business on a weekly business.

When June 2008 came and went, it left me wondering what would happen next.

I enjoyed the nothingness for a while. I had been exhausted emotionally with the work place issues. I was exhausted emotionally also with leaving. Just the internal stuff whirling around had kept me overwhelmed.

The business kept going without me. Amazingly enough it did. I had supported and propped it up, solved most problems and had been there when needed at the drop of the hat. But now it was still going and seemed to be doing okay… all without me.

I was feeling better and time was whizzing by. There was no time to sit and think about what had happened.. or mope over it either. There was life to live and things that I had only dreamed of doing. BUT I was always too busy… and now I was free.

I started another small business. It was Wood Carving. And believe it or not people wanted my work. I added to that my Lace Making – and they wanted that as well. Then I added my Art Work, my Illustrations and Drawings – and they wanted that as well. Finally I added my Speaking – talking to groups and motivating them where possible.

I mixed in the fun volunteer things and I discovered I have a better life than ever before, make better money and happier money… and don’t have to deal with unhappy customers, angry customers or plain ornery old folk that unless you did it their way… you could start looking at the highway. I am progressing well down the highway and they are still muttering.

Hey – retirement is so good I can’t believe that I didn’t do this long ago.

Remember when I told you that my “working career” included world travel and world work outside of Canada. This past week I was in Ajax working with a Sri Lankan group and saw amazing results take place. Then just yesterday I was working with an Egyptian group that has resulted in more potential than any of the “old business” ever could have realized. The booking for further new business is climbing and I feel young again! Wahoo!

I met a young couple yesterday that are struggling in a family oriented business. The guy’s dad is still in the business at 70 years old and won’t quit. They can do nothing now to move ahead with the old guy still there. They are frustrated to say the least. And the old guy is struggling… maybe just the way that I was… and it is time to retire… just the way that it was for me.

Hey old guy… if you read this… there are far better days ahead than you ever had in days before. Come on RETIRE – just do it!

~ Murray Lincoln ~
http://www.murraylincoln.com/ 

A Deeply Emotional Day – standing with my grandkids

Misty Hollow Carving
This BLOG is sponsored by “Misty Hollow Carving”. You are welcome to visit Misty Hollow and see all of my carvings.

My Web Site is a like a Gallery – please drop in for a stroll through.

To help me promote my Web Site please copy this URL address and email to someone today http://www.murraylincoln.com/ 

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A Deeply Emotional Day – standing with my grandkids

More than once yesterday I wiped the tears from my eyes. I couldn’t stop them.. they were flowing easily.

I was standing beside my grandsons and my granddaughter at a special memorial service and presentation at our Armory in Peterborough. We were part of a large crowd that had gathered to see the unveiling of the War of Portraits on the huge transport trailer.

It is hard to describe what this is all about really.

On the first weekend in December of 2008 the McClaren family moved in two doors down from us. They were very excited about their new home and the community. That same weekend they received the horrific news that their 23 year son Mark had been killed in the war in Afghanistan. For days we watched the coming and going of the military vehicles that had brought the top soldiers to help this family walk through the process of the loss of their son overseas.

Mark McClaren’s portrait is on this Wall of Portraits, in the middle, just below the beautiful young lady who is just below the white dove.

I do not have the words to tell you what it was like to stand in front of that long mural of portraits… and look into their eyes. It was as if they were waiting for me to say something. I choked up big time… and cried. I wanted to say thank you to these men and one woman that have lost their lives in this conflict – trying to bring about peace and stability in a very terrible part of the world.

As Alida and I gave our friend and neighbor a big hug… there weren’t enough words to say again how deeply we were moved by what was happening yesterday.

Three of my grandsons, Jonathan, Thomas, and Christopher – along with Emma our granddaughter were standing beside me as we looked on. They listened closely to the words spoken and also asked some questions when certain things were talked about.

I glanced at them over and over again as the afternoon went on. Mark McClaren was only 8 years older than Jonathan and 10 years older than Thomas. They are standing beside me now… but Mark will never come home again.

I wiped more tears back again… and realized how special our neighbors are in our life.

Not long ago I took part in this special part of yesterday’s celebration – in a small way. Mark’s dad asked me to carve a special gift for the artist that had done the painting. I carved the dove that he had painted on the top of the Portrait. The families of the fallen soldiers gave the carving to the artist to say thank you for what he has done for them.

I am not able to really tell you how I feel. It is a great honor to be part of something this special.

I pray today for the families of the soldiers that are over there now and soon to come home. I specially pray for the families that have lost their kids and then live on without them.

Oh God help them all.

~ Murray Lincoln ~
http://www.murraylincoln.com/ 

A Contagious Application of Doing Fun Stuff

Misty Hollow Carving
This BLOG is sponsored by “Misty Hollow Carving”. You are welcome to visit Misty Hollow and see all of my carvings.

My Web Site is a like a Gallery – please drop in for a stroll through.

To help me promote my Web Site please copy this URL address and email to someone today http://www.murraylincoln.com/

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Today’s Blog Post

A Contagious Application of Doing Fun Stuff
Two days later and I am pooped! Oh so many people to talk to and so many friends to meet with. I have had three of my grandsons at the Lang Pioneer Village for the last while.

I am a volunteer at Lang Village and I love the work. I do Interpretive Work in the Hastie Carpenter Shop. The shop is equipped with hundreds of old tools – each uniquely designed for a task that was needed to be accomplished…. over a 150 years ago.

As I have demonstrated the tools and their use to my grandsons while working in the Wood Shop, they have picked up the ideas and the concept very well – very fast. I think their genetics as to fixing things and working with tools runs very deep… passed down from about four sides of each of the families.

One older gentleman came into the shop to speak to me about my grandson, Jonathan. Jonathan had been outside working with the Spring Pole Lathe and as he worked it… he would stop to tell people the story about the history of the Lathe. He told me when he was asked a question that he couldn’t answer he told the folks to come inside and ask his Grandpa.

This older gentleman was very impressed with Jonathan and his ability to do the work… and to speak to people. He has also watched Thomas working with the carving horse and using a draw knife on a piece of wood. He asked me if I taught them.

I replied that I had taught them what to do and that they were still learning lots of things.

His comment was something that made me just about pop my buttons on my Pioneer Outfit, “Well you have done an excellent job of teaching them. I am very impressed. They are doing a great job!”

Another lady came by to talk to me as well. She asked how old my grandsons were. She had been watching them and they had left a good impression on her. I told her that they were 9, 13, and 15 years old.

She exclaimed in wonder, “How did you every get this age involved? How did you ever get them to come along and help you – let alone do such a good job of demonstrating?!? I could never get my teenager to do such a thing!”

I explained that these guys love helping grandpa. They also love tools and fixing things. It is in their Genes!

I know that my Grandsons and Granddaughter are ordinary kids. They are full of life and will sometimes do very kid like things. I have to remember that they are still kids and will be for a few years. Yet, they can and do take responsibility for tasks they are given to do. They have not groaned and moaned out of protest… at least with me. But then… this Grandpa is different – HE IS EXCITED ABOUT WHAT HE IS DOING… and the boys catch it from me.

If I wasn’t excited and acted the part.. they would pick that up very quickly.

What I have is a “contagious application of doing fun stuff” and my grandsons love it.

My hope some day as they become dads and then grandpas.. that the excitement that I know now will be theirs as well.

Right now we are headed to a special celebration and a memorial service for the fallen soldiers of our area… and of Canada. Many of these guys are like my Grandsons… only just a few years older… and today we will meet some of their parents.

I am excited about this day… so are my grandsons.

~ Murray Lincoln ~
http://www.murraylincoln.com/