Peterborough’s Last Hanging

So do you know what a “gat” is? I sure didn’t.

I am sitting with my New Friends group enjoying our talk together. The group began at 2 PM and we are now at the 2:50 PM mark. We have all been sitting for almost an hour – and the exchange has been wonderful. People talking with people.

All of the people are older than me – much older. Among the group is my own mom who is an active participant. This day she had brought her wonderful collection of very old Post Cards organized in special three special books for everyone to look at.

The week before I had brought some different antique things from our home, that we had collected over the years, to show. I had encouraged my Friends to treat this like “show and tell” from their own school days. Simple idea but it worked well.

As mom shared her Post Cards her New Friends asked questions where they came from. Mom explained that the people that she had collected the cards from had traveled on the ships from Britain. They had settled in Southern Saskatchewan. The ship line that they had traveled on was the same one that owned the Titanic – which brought more questions.

Mom then told the story about how she had bought the house in her home town many years ago. I told the rest of the story for the whole group to hear.

Mom had convinced my Dad that they should buy the small two bedroom house with all its contents. It sat on three lots and was fully furnished. The cost of the house was $550 – and she bought it from the Town of Truax who now owned it after 10 years of back taxes at $55 a year tax.

That led to more questions. “How much did you sell it for?” a New Friend asked. “About three times what I paid for it.” (more than 20 years later)

That is how the afternoon goes with my New Friends. It is okay to change the topic and let one thought flow into another. My task at the group is to be like a traffic cop – letting everyone know that the topic has changed – the louder voice helps.

When you think of it – it is amazing that 20 some older folks will sit for over two hours and not move, listen closely, and share deeply. And not one went to the bathroom the whole time. They were enraptured with each other.

A daughter of one of our New Friends sat through the whole thing smiling. She listened to the interaction and exchange. At the end she commented to me how impressed she was… and how “they” (the seniors) all seemed to enjoy the interaction and the group so much. She didn’t know that this was only our second meeting. She didn’t catch that a shopping trip had been planned for the same time and half of the group from last week went for the outing – but a new half showed up to take part.

We have stumbled on to something very good!

As part of the input of the afternoon I read from a book that is from their own library.

The book is entitled “My Town – My Memories”. Many of my New Friends have a serious vision problems and have not read for years. And my suspicion is that their kids are too busy to read for them.

As I read the story aloud of “Peterborough’s Last Hanging” they were listening intently. It was in the part of the story about the killing of the man by his friend that I ran across the word that I didn’t know – the “gat”. I paused and after reading that part and asked what a “gat” was. Three ladies and one man immediately said together – “A gun”. I had looked up asking the question. The one older fellow in the group was grinning as he pointed his forefinger at me and with his thumb coming down on his hand – like a gun shooting. He was a former police man by the way. We all laughed – even though the story was very serious.

The man that was hanged was Black. The man he shot was also Black. The killer was named Edward Franklin Jackson. He had killed his partner and friend, Eugene Lee. Both men had hailed from the USA. The story had so many tidbits of info that the author had captured from the years gone by.

The murder had taken place on October 17, 1932. On November 12, 1933 at 12:01 AM Mr. Jackson was hung in the court yard of the small Peterborough Jail behind the present court house.

In the period of waiting for his hanging Mr. Jackson had gained 50 pounds with the food that he had been served at the jail.

That night at 11:45 PM the church bells of Peterborough began to ring for the next fifteen minutes. Then at the hanging moment they stopped. After the man’s death the bells again rang for another 15 minutes telling the city and its residents that the murderer was dead.

As I paused in that part of the story, everyone was thinking deeply. It had happened in their life time. I asked if anyone in the group had heard the bells. There was nothing but silence in our group.

Now consider the fact that at every hanging in early Peterborough, the Bells of the church tolled their long, lonely peal of the death that was taking place…. Wow!

This story led to another fact to be discussed. At a very early age one of the residents had traveled from Bridgenorth to attend a carnival/circus that had come to the city. It was his very first time to see a Black person… and he said they simple stared at the man with fascination. That comment led to more stories and a lengthy exchange about Peterborough and its feelings about Black people…

My New Friends are among the most interesting people that I have ever met… and their stories are amazing.

As I reflect on what has happened again in this group it is powerful for me. Few people in these New Friend’s life have take time to listen to the stories… now they have a place to share them with glee.

Hmmm… is there something here to consider in the wider and bigger world out there? Hmmm…?

~ Murray Lincoln ~

This portion is added a few hours later... I received this bit of information from Jessika... seen as a comment below...

Hello, I actually researched this long ago, and it is so funny to hear about it on your blog today. Did you know that in reality what you read is the "white" version of the story?

Eugene Lee was convicted of rape of a girl he worked for on a farm out in Duoro. The story goes that when his best friend Mr.Jackson found out, he shot him. However, the only weapon Jackson would have access to, would have been a pitch fork.

The gun wounds were in Eugene Lee's back, not his front. When the shots rang out, the farmers wife ran out to find Eugene Lee, dead (FACING) Jackson, and her husband hiding behind a hay bale (behind the two men--specifically Eugene).

Jackson was put on trial, found guilty by a jury of white people, and sentenced to death for the murder of Eugene Lee. Yes the two men argued that night, but I do believe you can now figure out where the gun shots really came from!!

It is a neat story, and I am glad you brought it up. It has much controversy here in Peterborough.

Now an extra little tid bit for you...Eugene Lee was convicted by the farmer, and was being taken to the police station that evening. (The daughter was out late, and came home with blood on her dress, father put two and two together, and said that she was raped by the famous Eugene Lee-so as not to ruin her reputation)

Jigsaw Puzzle Pleasure

Rediscovering the simple joys of big Jigsaw Puzzle on a cold winter’s day is wonderful. This winter I pulled a couple out and tried them again.

It brings back the rainy day experience at a cottage. Too wet to go outside and do anything – so with a warm cup of Hot Chocolate and a quiet table top the pieces pop out at you as you eyes survey the puzzle. Add to that the sound of the rain dripping from the roof – and it is perfect.

Doing a puzzle in winter time makes it summer time for me.

One thing I have noticed is that it takes time. It can fill an evening up with such a simple pleasure – one piece at a time… then a section… then the dark areas that all look a like… then the light stuff at the top. Slowly the beautiful photo appears. The simple joy of finding that one piece that wasn’t there an hour ago!

As I was working on the Jigsaw Puzzle of the inside of the aircraft cockpit it was slow moving. The puzzle was very old – so old that the box did not have the IPC Bar Code on the side of it – placing it back about 40 years ago. We had given this to my dad years ago as a Christmas Present – he was a pilot. His name was Clifford.

Just after I had assembled the outside pieces with all the straight pieces in place… the grandkids came over for a time with us.

Clifford, named with Great Grandpa in mind (actually two of his Great Grandpas were named Clifford), sat down to work on the puzzle. I couldn’t remember when he did a puzzle last…maybe small ones but not the 500 to 1000 piece kind. He never ever sat still enough for that when he was younger!

I had to do some Grandpa Chores and Clifford began working on the puzzle alone. When I returned whole sections were together… all of the one kind of dark… then whole rows of light… click, click, click… pop, pop, pop…

This young mind is SO FAST. He is like a machine that never stops. So very intent to get it done and help me..

In the corner of the room we have an old clock that ticks steadily. The basement rumpus room is warm and quiet – except when you turn on the TV or watch a DVD. Clifford was just happy to sit quietly working by himself.

It is a simple family pleasure passed from generation to generation in our family. Now it is done again to at least one grand child.

As I sat working with Clifford, the growing child with an almost adult body at 13 – I thought back to 13 old time for me. Many memories flooded back to warm me… It was a happy time as well. So many memories – so very many!

I remember that lakeside cottage on Manitoulin Island.. a rainy afternoon… and rain drops and a puzzle. I remember that east room in the old farm house in rural Saskatchewan… the wind was whistling around the house… snow curling in eddies of snow drifts… a thick frost on the window pane… and a puzzle.

Winter for us is slowing down. The puzzle is almost done. The 13 year old is growing quickly… and may not be so interested in puzzles this time next year. But for now I have captured another wonderful memory.

Thanks Clifford for sitting with Grandpa. This winter was a special one.

~ Murray Lincoln ~

Try...

http://www.jigzone.com/puzzles/daily-jigsaw

Nut Cases – Kooky Khristians

It certainly didn’t take long for the dirty stuff to hit the fan. Less than a month and it has happened.

President Barack Obama was honored, adored, worshiped and every other kind of great word I can think of on January 20. Now in early February the baloney is flying thick and heavy. He is now being made a monster by the most unusual people I can think of.

I receive emails from many people. It likely happens because I do this Blog or maybe because I have hundreds of friends that capture my email then snow me under with forwards. Each one only sends a few – but after 100 people of my 500 or so friends forward one – today… oh boy.

Well in one situation an African Brother, named Rev. Samuel Dorbor, has just sent me another of his emails with commentary. I read most of what he sends as he tends to reflect some of what is going on in the African church generally.

Well the last one was a wild email… with quotes from many sources and other emails… all hating President Obama. (My Friend Rev. Samuel Dorbor doesn't believe this I am sure)

Obama is the Anti Christ – coming from the same roots that the writer has deduced. Someone has traced Obama’s roots to “Danite” roots (Tribe of Dan???) and that “Hippolytus (e. A.D. 200) wrote: "Dan is a lion's welp" naming the tribe of Dan from which the AntiChrist is destined to spring; just as Christ comes from the tribe of Judah, so the AntiChrist is to come from the tribe of Dan.”

The email is entitled “He is Him”

The content of the email plucks from a number of sources and people looking for attention. Some are trying to sell their books – others are trying to sell themselves as experts.

One minister quoted in the email is someone that I know and have had him speak in two different churches that I pastored… but after the last time when I found out the kind of nut case that he was really… I declined offers when he was “coming my way”.

This particular minister hates Rick Warren… or should I say strongly dislikes Warren. He condemns him for having prayed at the inauguration – and Warren should have known better! And because he prayed – this minister then attacked Warren’s ministry and makes him the worst ever – the “Purpose Driven Life” book is so wrong that it takes pages to read the rants. (Warren sells way more books than my other minister friend – that may be the cause.)

(If you would like the original email – let me know and I will send it.)

Christianity is full of Nut Cases! From the outside of the church people look at these kinds of Nut Cases and shake their heads.

Not long ago a very Non-Church person saw some Christian antics going on. One Christian was pulling another Christian down… attempting to tear everything that one had done to pieces. The Non-Church person shook his head and said, “That is why I would never call myself a Christian… I believe in God and even pray – but I never want to be a Christian!”

Well my Non-Church Friend – I think we can agree – I don’t want to be that kind of person either. I am a Christian because I follow Christ and know him personally. I DO NOT FOLLOW NUT CASES or believe in what they say.

Yes I wrote back to Rev. Samuel Dobor – but no answer as of yet.

One of the whacko people that Samuel quotes in his email goes by the email name “godslildemonslapper” – that is “God’s Lil demon slapper.”

See what I mean about nut cases.

If you have followed Barack Obama’s rise to Presidency you will have noted the powerful Cars and other transporting vehicles that he rides in. With this many whacko and nutcase kind of people running around – there is no wonder.

The number of secret service people with ear plugs in and black suits is astounding. They literally follow every move that Obama makes… and their eyes never leave the crowd around the President.

The President need not worry about the terrible extreme Islamic terrorists – he has enough trouble with “Kooky Khristians”.

When I wrote back to Samuel Dobor – I tried to point out that he was associating with some nut cases. No answer as yet.

My roots away back are American. Yes I am related to Abe Lincoln. My family moved to southern Saskatchewan about 100 years ago – making my Canadian roots possible.

I am glad that I don’t have to face what my American friends must with these Nut Cases that seem to grow in your country. I am also thankful for so much snow in Canada – it keeps the Nut Cases out of our country for the most part.

I pray for my leaders today that work so hard for us in our country. Then at the end I pray for our American Leaders as well – including the President.

~ Murray Lincoln ~

Good News - Bad News

I don’t know why the strange feelings have rolled around inside of me all night! Wow what a dream land I traveled to last night. But after thinking about it for the last hour – I know why.

For more than 40 years I have waited for this fast approaching moment… the actual moment of retirement… the moment that your pension arrives! Easy street… the soft life… the joy of sitting back and now collecting oodles of money… as if it falls from trees and covers my driveway like liquid gold.

One the steps took place yesterday. A letter from the company Pension Plan with its official notification arrived. Two pages of info and a letter said it all.

It is good news in a way – there will be a little coming in. The good news also is that if everything holds the way that it is right now… I should make it to April 13th 2009 – “Magic Moment Day” when I hit the monumental 65th year mark.

Now the part that the two sheets of Pension Plan reminded over and over again… “after your death” and “you were receiving when you died”… was stated at least 3 times each before the middle of the sheet fold.

“If you die within 60 months of your pension commencement date, your spouse will be paid the same amount you were receiving at the time or your death of the balance of the 60 months….”

Hokey Mokey – that sounds too serious and a way to close for me at this moment. That starting count down is only 62 days away… I feel like I am sitting on the nose of a Rocket that is headed for Mars… tick… tick… tick… tick

So with this bit of information… should I die within the 60 months of April 13th, 2009 – Alida will get more for the following 60 months from my death.

The word “Incentive” comes to mind immediately. Dead within 60 months – means more money. Death after that 60 month period means that my wife will get only 66.67% of what I am going to receive.

Now here is the forming plan – I need to hang in there for 59 months and 364 days and 23 hours and 59 minutes to MAX OUT. But then I need to check out of “this Hotel” and take up an elongated box. With the new knowledge that I will be being paid something to prepare for my death… for that is what a pension seems to be… is a little unnerving… and it makes you roll around a little at night.

And seeing that the official crowd in a Pension Office somewhere are calculating and have calculated my demise… is really unnerving.

I have come to the realization that I am not looking forward to the next 20162 days with great joy… but rather watch out for what might happen next.

No wonder you can’t get seniors to come out on an Icy Winter Day. No wonder they are at the Doctor’s Office at the slightest whisp of ailment.

But as some of you know me better than that and you know my personality – it likely isn’t going to have much affect on me. It will rather be 20162 days of PARTEEEEEE on DUDE. I think my Mid Life Crisis that I missed because I was too darn busy working – will be my next event.

If Alida will agree to let me do it… I am going to buy one really hot convertible sports car… never wear a neck tie again… unbutton my shirt buttons to about the third one… no chest hair to speak of so I will glue some Bear Fir to my chest on days that I am driving the sports car through the streets of Peterborough… and Scream “ Go Baby GO! WAHOOOOO!”

After that ride I will get on my Harley Davidson and roar down the street. I want that one that is $57,000 – silver and black.

After that I will climb aboard the airplane and we are going to Bali.

Well… maybe not right away. Well it was a great dream… for a few hours.

I was in a Senior’s Home this past weekend to speak to a group. After my talk a lady about my age smiled and asked me a unusual question… “So have you got your SUV?”

“SUV”… huh?... I drive an old 1996 Nissan Quest Van with rusty holes through the sides. “SUV”?

I said, “Nope… I gotta Van”

“No, No” she replied, “Your SUV… Socks, Underwear and Viagra?”

To say that I nearly fell over before I began to laugh is an understatement. This lady’s sense of humor was very good… her timing just right and she got me there. I mean how many times does a congregant ask the minister that kind of thing!!!?

But does that small question ever help relieve the 20162 days of waiting.

Today the PARTEEEE begins. Anybody want to Boogie?

~ Murray Lincoln ~

What if God brought a Law Suit against us?

What if God brought a Law Suit against us?

Strange question? I don’t think so. In Omaha, Nebraska a Senator Ernie Chambers launched a Law Suit against God. It is reported in to have happened around August 2008. For that reason I am not sure of the present state of the Suit and where Ernie is today.

It is the thought/concept that has captured interest… only reversing that and wondering if God could sue us.

A quote from Josh Funk’s article states…
“Chambers said God has made terroristic threats against the senator and his constituents in Omaha, inspired fear and caused "widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants."

The court told Chambers last week that his lawsuit may be dismissed because he had failed to serve notice on God. Chambers acknowledged that failure in court Tuesday while sitting a few feet away from an empty table reserved for God and God's attorney.

"Despite my most sincere, zealous efforts, I could not find a location to serve the defendant," Chambers said.

But Chambers asked Polk to take official notice of God, and the Almighty's omniscience and omnipresence.”

As I searched for more info on Ernie Chambers I found that he lost his job in the Senate of Nebraska in April 17, 2008. There was a State limit put on how long a person could serve in the Senate. Ernie was ousted.

So in the same summer he launched his Law Suit.

One thing that I can deduce from this is that Old Men that have time of their hands need something to do with that time. It is likely why God gives Old Men their wives – so when they retire the have something to do. (And the fact that Women outlive most men by about 15 years is again God’s provision… He gives them an extra 15 to 20 years of freedom after doing a good job – but that is another story.)

What would the wording look like if God sued us?

I suggest the following…
“God said ‘John Doe’(representing the general public as a whole) has made terroristic threats against God and inspired fear and caused "widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants because of the way that John Doe has treated his fellow earthlings."

The court told God last week that His lawsuit may be dismissed because He had failed to serve notice on John Doe. God acknowledged that failure in court Tuesday while sitting a few feet away from an empty table reserved for John Doe and John's attorney.

"Despite my most sincere, zealous efforts, I could not find a location to serve the defendant," God said. “He was no where to be found – kind of like the first man that I made.”

But God asked Judge Polk to take official notice of God’s ability noting that His omniscience and omnipresence would be working diligently to secure John Doe’s presence – by whatever means. He needed an extension of this Law Suit to get the attention of John Doe.”

My question today is… “Would you be named along with John Doe for the way that you treat you neighbor, fellow citizens, fellow church members, and those around you in general?”

My general take on the situation that I have viewed around me is – a lot of people may be in court with some heavy questions to be answered someday… if God sued us.

~ Murray Lincoln ~
Source:
http://abcnews.go.com/TheLaw/story?id=5519887&page=1
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ernie_Chambers

August 5, 2008—
Senator Suing God Urges Judge to Proceed
by By JOSH FUNK Associated Press Writer

OMAHA, Neb. (AP) --State Sen. Ernie Chambers says his lawsuit against God might seem funny but that doesn't mean it doesn't have a serious point.

Chambers asked Douglas County District Judge Marlon Polk on Tuesday to let his lawsuit proceed. Chambers said he wants to make the point that everyone should have access to the courts regardless of whether they are poor or have the means of billionaire Warren Buffett of Omaha.

"What brought me to the point of filing this lawsuit was the ill-advised attempts by certain legislators to prevent the filing of certain lawsuits," Chambers said.

Polk said he would consider the issue and rule later.

Chambers acknowledges using wit and humor in the lawsuit he filed last September seeking a permanent injunction against God. Chambers said God has made terroristic threats against the senator and his constituents in Omaha, inspired fear and caused "widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants."

The court told Chambers last week that his lawsuit may be dismissed because he had failed to serve notice on God. Chambers acknowledged that failure in court Tuesday while sitting a few feet away from an empty table reserved for God and God's attorney.

"Despite my most sincere, zealous efforts, I could not find a location to serve the defendant," Chambers said.

But Chambers asked Polk to take official notice of God, and the Almighty's omniscience and omnipresence.

Chambers argued that courts and the U.S. government already routinely take notice of God. Courts swear in witnesses with an oath that includes the phrase "so help me God." Plus, the pledge of allegiance describes "one nation, under God," and U.S. currency proclaims "In God We Trust."

And the senator said that if the court recognizes God, the deity wouldn't need formal notice of the lawsuit because he knows everything. And God would be at every hearing because he's everywhere always.

A senator for 38 years, Chambers skips morning prayers during the legislative session and often criticizes Christians. He is being pushed out of the Legislature by term limits.

Chambers said he appreciates the difficult position Judge Polk is in because of the unique nature of the case, but he hopes the lawsuit will be allowed to proceed.

"Your honor, I do not envy your position," Chambers said.

GO – GO – GO- POTENTIAL

Chris called his mom on her cell phone to ask a question. Simple enough it seems. He was staying home with his brother and he was bored. Mom was at a meeting. Chris needed something to do.

“Mom can I do a chore?” was the question. “Sure – why not…” and mom gave him a suggestion.

The cell phone rang again, “Mom I did that chore, what else can I do… can I unload the dishwasher?” Mom was a little puzzled at this stage, “Sure, you are my big helper.” Thinking to herself there should be no problem with that and I will be home soon.

The cell phone rang again, “Mom I got that done, can I load the dishwasher with the dirty dishes in the sink?” There was a pause and mom answered, “Okay, just be careful” thinking to herself again, not much could go wrong with that request either and I will be home soon.

The cell phone rang one more time. “Mom can I set the table for dinner?” Mom paused a little before answering trying to think of what might be happening at home. “Okay, thank you. See you in a few minutes.”

When Mom arrived home Chris had put the clean dishes away. He had loaded the dishwasher with some effort – not perfect but it was done. And the big thing – the best chore – the table was set ready for dinner… with everything in place. Each person had a plate – the right size for each of them…big for adults, smaller for the kids… cups and cutlery… and in front of each person was their name. Two hot pads were on the table with casserole dishes sitting on them - empty. Some names were made from Wood (that had been made in Grandpa’s Garage). For the people that did not have names – Chris had cut out a hand crafted name from paper with his own writing on it.

The table was perfect.

Chris is 7 years old. And Chris is MY grandson! Whoa! Am I proud when I heard that story yesterday – or what???!! Chris is all boy, mischievous, moving, sweating, giggling and full of life. His teacher told him this past few weeks that he doesn’t always have to be the class clown. She gave him a book to read called, “Class Clown”. Chris is also the youngest of four sons – and number six on our grandkid list.

Yesterday, we traveled to Whitby, Ont. to watch our grandsons play hockey in a very large arena. Chris’ brother, Thomas, had his birthday yesterday turning eleven years old.

I stood at the safety glass that surrounds the ice rink holding a large PINK SIGN that screamed (along with me)… “Yeah Thomas. Happy Birthday!” I know that it helped in that he had two goals and his team won!!!! You want to believe that this grandpa is proud!!!
Following Thomas’s game, Chris’ team hit the ice on another pad of ice. Chris plays forward and is fast. Just a few years ago at 5 years old it was a ball to watch him and all his fellow players just to stand up on ice and then chase the puck a few feet without falling. Chris now at 7 is a bullet… and I think a potential NHL Hockey Star in the making. His name is really, Christopher “ZOOMER” Rourke ( I renamed him) and he flies down the ice. He had four breakaways and four good shots on goal. Chris told me later that he is working on making his shots hit the goal now! He missed by an inch each time!!!

His brother Michael was practicing at another arena at the time Chris and Thomas were playing in Whitby. His dad was with Michael.

Michael is something else. In class he is brilliant. There is nothing hard about school – except maybe that it isn’t enough for his brain. In class he is almost perfect…a joy to have… always getting his work done on time… does well in Math, Languages, Science…yadda yadda… and is a leader in Gym… yadda.. yadda…wow! Now this is at least Canada’s next astronaut, top scientist and did I tell you an excellent hockey player and baseball player?

The last game that we attended yesterday was their oldest son Jonathan’s. Tall and ready. Handsome. Good at defense and playing a solid position each time his shift was on the ice. What grace and ability this young man shows at 12 years old. At home he is the number one son and carries out his responsibility with an ability of a much older boy. With three siblings he is the best and the big brother to the other three.

What do I see outside of the pride that I have? I see POTENTIAL! I see unbelievable POTENTIAL.

The only thing that stinks is that I am aging as fast as they are growing up. At the end of aging there is a slowness that comes and a final long sleep. That end means that I may not see all the POTENTIAL… yet there may be hope still.

In the stands yesterday was the OLDEST FAN. I checked out every face and every person that I could see. The very oldest might have been my age…or maybe just a touch older. There was NO ONE there that was over 87 years old…except GREAT GRANDMA LINCOLN, my mom who is now 88.
When we came out of the arena between games we settled down around a box of donuts. Ravishing boys plowed through their share. Great Grandma picked out the ones that she liked. They savored the moment together.

As the boys ate on, Great Grandma leaned over to me and said, “I am warm, I am full and I am watching my great grandsons play hockey – what more could I wish for. This is great!”

Great Grandma Lincoln has watched all her grandkids come along. I think that she and Grandpa Lincoln were at every grandchild’s birth week – if not right there, they looked after the siblings. Now she is watching her Grandkids fulfill their parenting skills.

I look at the Grandkids and see potential for them. I look at my mom and see potential for me.

Yeah Christopher, Michael, Emma, Thomas, Jonathan and Clifford. Grandpa is rooting for you. Go… Go… GO… GO… !!!! And as long as I get at least one Tim Bit(small donut) I am happy – what more could I ask for?

~ Murray Lincoln ~ This is a HOCKEY MOM! - My daughter Anda... mother of four... still a class clown...

And her son... when doing Homework KILLS him...

Are You Listening To Me – Can I Speak Now?

Since publishing yesterday’s post I have had a number of discussions with others about the uniqueness of what happened on Thursday at the “New Friends” group that we attended. The very first thing that each one saw was the close proximity of the group to each other. In fact it is amazing the number of people that noticed this factor.

The second powerful factor was that the seniors in the photos were animated in their engagement with each other. Each one was connected with another and then responding.

The norm in conducting many of the Senior Groups is to have one big circle with every one sitting side by side. The other way with very large groups is to sit in rows – “churchy style”.

AND we need to realize that people like this have always sat in rows or have been placed in large circles for activities. The “large circle” was so radically different from the norm of rows when it started out – that it attracted people.

But there is a problem with seniors and large circles. Can you guess what that might be?

What if your vision is very poor after all these years of living – and you can only see things up close. Placing the person in a very large circle will be equivalent to stranding blind person downtown… or in a busy room with no one to help.

Try it yourself. Sit in a larger room in your chair. Take some plastic wrap and wrap your head so that it will cover your eyes. With at least four levels making it possible for you to still see light but lose all understanding of form.

On Thursday afternoon one of my New Friends did something quite odd. At the end she stood and walked toward me, then came quite close. She reached out her hand and shook my hand, thanking me for coming with the others. Then she stood still for a moment, holding my hand as I talked with her. She stated, “Wow, so that is what you look like. You don’t look like the way that you sound!”

I felt at that moment like a Radio Announcer being discovered for the first time. He has voice that makes a mental image – big, deep and husky… yet he is only 135 pounds in weight.

Now add to the whole setting of a large circle – the fact that you cannot hear what is said when some one is so far away. You can’t hear because you can’t read their lips the way that you unconsciously have learned to do all of your life. And even with the best hearing aids they will leave you alone and out of it when you are in a large group.

On a personal side one other factor rises…
In a large circle or a large row sitting room – how do you know who the other people are? How will you know if you say something that might offend others? I hate speaking up about an issue when I don’t know the politics of the people beside me. I hate contributing anything when I might be shot down – just because I am “stupid”.

When my father was alive and very active he traveled with me. On one such trip he traveled with me to the Maritimes and Newfoundland. He always was meeting new people. I have mentioned that in another post – the Newfoundlanders that he met were very kind, nicknaming him “Skipper”. Everyone was open to him speaking with them.

But there was something that I knew about my dad, he hated large groups… and he would stay quiet in any setting that had a discussion in it. I just figured my dad was the quiet kind – yet in a way the fact that he said nothing made little or no sense when he interacted with people he met so well.

One evening as I was conducting the seminar that I was doing, I taught on “communication… encouragement… and support” for the children that we all worked with. The setting was a large one with many leaders of children’s group from that area. I talked and then we did an activity that required each person to tell a story to the whole group. Frightened and shaky they came to the front to speak. It was fun and easy to do – I thought.

After it was over my dad came up to me when I was packing up and made a statement that shook me.

“That was close to home tonight. Murray, what you talked about tonight sure hit home. You know that I don’t speak very well in a larger group. I have never done well speaking in front of people. What you said tonight made so much sense. Kids need to be encouraged. I am 62 years old and I am still afraid of speaking in front of people. When I was about 8 years old I was attending a small school in southern Saskatchewan. We were told that we each had to stand in front of the class and say the poem that we were to have memorized as homework. When my turn came I stood and walked to the front and tried to say my Poem. I was very embarrassed and faltered as I spoke. I started again and again but each time lost my words and kind of stuttered. I just couldn’t get it out…”

“The teacher looked at me with the rest of the students and in frustration she said, “Awe sit down… you will never be any good at that kind of thing anyway. I stumbled back to my small desk in that country school believing what she said… and I just never spoke in front of anyone again.”

It was 54 years later and my dad had relived the whole terrible scene about that terrible day.

On Thursday afternoon at the “New Friends” group I met another guy like my dad. He came in later than everyone else and sat toward the edge of the group. Then when I suggested the talking and story telling activity he was gone like a shot. He sat 35 feet away reading a newspaper – looking over it once in a while to see what we were still doing. Engaged from a distance – but watching carefully what he would be asked to do. Just like my dad…just like my dad.

Yesterday I spoke with a friend of mine that works for a government organization in Yorkton Saskatchewan. Her name is Lauretta. She shared how she took part in a special series of meetings that were held across the province. The facilitator had people sit in groups of no more than six people to discuss the topic and to give feed back. He trusted each small group to come up with an idea and share it. He was a wise facilitator.

Most government leaders and people of great importance – have a lot to say. It is a one way kind of process. “I am smarter on this topic than you are so you will listen.” is the usual understatement being made.

This person listened by getting people to talk.

The odd thing is that we rush through our lives watching people like my dad… knowing what they are like… but never hearing what they have to say…specially in large groups.

Then when they die we fuss and stew and sort and strain to find things about dad that we can say at his funeral…but we get some of it all mixed up when we say it.

What an odd statement on our highly developed society. We say we love them, yet we never hear them. We say we care, but we never talk to them. We appreciate them but never allow them a place to speak about what they know. What a strange world we live in… and I don’t really want that to happen to me.

Last Thursday afternoon… some one listened to 20 other someone-s and loved it….and they laughed and laughed and were animated and loved every minute of it.

One very simple thought... when no one else can hear me - or will talk to me - the cat loves me.

~ Murray Lincoln ~